I hate myself

I screwed up, now my friend worry about me, all I want is a peaceful, discret departure. I don't want to perturb them.

In normal circumstances I should be grateful but I found out that my despicable person is unconsciously trying to break our friendship to finally be free of killing myself.

I passed the stage where you hesitate about suicide and you just accept it.

Now I decided to kill myself on the 13th of May. I'm going to cut all the links between me and my close one. I don't expect them to forgive me, I just want to go.

At a time the guilt would have forbid me from committing suicide, but now all it's left is emptiness, a void, maybe an object made of hatred directed to myself, sadness, tears, regrets and lots of other feelings is forming where the emptiness is right now.

It's crazy how the body react to a psychological problem, I didn't know before but after experiencing it I can say that all I want is this feeling to stop.

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