I don't know

I feel that this book become more and more like a journal than an actual "library of thought". I'm not against it, it's just that this is strange, at the beginning I wanted to use this support to think but it became more and more a place to speak about me and my problem instead of just a place to think.

I post this chapter not only to say this but also to say that I find interesting the fact that since I decided to kill myself I took more time to read about suicide and the ways to do it, where to do it etc.

It's a way to reassure me I think, telling myself that it will happen once and everything will be over, no more problem