Chapter 9: My Thoughts, My Mind, My Problems.

😥 "I'll always be there for anyone who needs me, I'll always be a helping hand or a listening ear. Because I know what it's like to believe no one cares. I know what it's like to feel alone, suffocated in your own thoughts. I know how just one person can change someone's life. I'm here for anyone who needs me, just to prove that compassion still exists. I'm here for you."

-Unknown 😥

💕 Real quick A/N: I just wanna let everyone know that I truly love the quote above cause it's extremely true. At least to me it is. If anyone ever needs someone to talk to, and if anyone of you ladies, and gentlemen need someone to talk to, I'm here for you. If you need to vent out I'm here for you. If you need some advice I'm here for you, I promise if you need anything I'll do my best to help you out. I love you all! Now, on worth!!💕

⚠️ Warning: Please Proceed With Caution! This chapter may contain alot of Violence, Disturbing Details, and/or Mental Illnesses/Disorders! This chapter will contain Self-Harming!!!! Please Be Advised And Proceed With CAUTION!!!⚠️

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😙" Resume From Last Chapter "😙

😐" Same Day "😐

🤗" Max's POV "🤗

I found an empty classroom that looks abandoned. I turn the door handle nob and it opens.

"Wow, they seriously need to learn how to lock these things.", I say as I pull i walk into the room Tyler not to far behind.

He closes the door behind him as I lean against one of the old dusty looking desks.

"So, what did you want to talk about?", I ask him and he sighs.

"I wanted to make sure you're okay. You seem a bit off today.", he says and I sigh cause I know that the way I've been acting towards Tyler, Scarlet, and Haylee isn't my normal.

"I'm fine.", I say lying to him once again.

"That's not true.", he says and I groan.

"It's nothing! Why does everyone keep thinking something is wrong?! There's nothing wrong and even if it was, it wouldn't be such a huge fucking deal!", I exclaim as I pace back and forth and pull at my hair.

"There is something wr-", he goes to say and I interrupt him.

"There's nothing wrong!", I exclaim as I stop my pacing and pulling at my hair. I put my arms down at my side and look straight at Tyler.

"See noting wrong.", I say as I smile and he sighs. He walks over to me and hugs me.

"Why in the holy hell are you hugging me?!", I exclaim as I try to push Tyler away.

"Hell isn't very holy first off.", he says and takes a step back letting go of me.

"Two, sometimes you need a hug. Showing emotions isn't a weakness you know, it's a strength.", he says and I roll my eyes.

"Whatever. I'm fine now can we please go.", I say and reach for the door handle put somehow he's already in front of it.

"And I'm Cheshire the cat. Now tell me what the hell is wrong! I can stay here all day and do this.", he says calmly. I sigh in frustration, I walk over to the other side of the room and sit down with my back lean against the wall.

"Why do I have to have friend?", I ask myself as I look up towards the ceiling as I feel tears trying to escape and cascade down my face.

"Are you going to tell me?", he asks me and I nod.

I bring my legs up to my chest wrap one of my arms around my legs and place the other on top. I lay my head down on my arm that lays on top of my legs.

"My thoughts.", I tell him as I look over towards him. He looks at me confused.

"What?", he asks and I sigh.

"My thoughts, my mind, my problems. That's what's wrong with me. My life period is what's wrong with me.", I say to him looking away from him.

For a few minutes we sit in silence. I look back at Tyler to see he's fixing to say something but he's interrupted by the bell.

I hurriedly get up off the ground and walk outta the room. I speed walk towards my next class which, of course, I have with Tyler.

Hopefully, this teacher makes us have assigned seats and I get to sit alone. i think to myself as I walk into the room and to the seat I have been sitting at.

Of course, it's English. Bluhg. Have I mentioned how much I hate English? Well, I hate it worse than I hate anything else in the world.

Okay, maybe that's a bit over dramatic but still, I think you get the point.

Right before the bell rings, Tyler walks into the room. He looks around until he spots me. He walks to where he normally sits, next to me, and he doesn't say a word.

"Good morning class!", the teacher exclaims seeming way to happy.

"Good morning.", the whole class says I'm monotone, excluding me. I didn't say anything, I just put one of my arms on my desk and placed my head on top of it.

"Alright, now that that's outta the way, today I'll be assigning seats.", you can hear the whole class boo.

"Oh shut it, if it was up to me I wouldn't even bother but, the Head-mistress wants all of us teachers to start doing assigned seats for every class they have so, we're doing the assigned seats.", she says and I mentally cheer.

Please make it to where I sit alone, please make it to where I can sit alone! I continuously repeat in my head waiting for my name to be called.

😭" About 25 Minutes Later "😭

Well, I have been placed next to a student, on the plus side this person doesn't usually talk, well at least from what I have observed she doesn't.

We have about 20 minutes until this class is over.

"Alright class, now that's finished, I want you to write a 6 paged essay. You can write it about whatever you want it to be about. If you don't finish the essay here, that's fine. I'm giving you until Friday to be finished this.", she says and I sigh in relief. If there's anything else besides art that I'm supposed good at it's creative writing.

I raise my hand and the teacher nods.

"Yes Max.", she says to me waiting for me to speak.

"Yes, um, does the 6 pages have to be front and back?", I ask and she nods.

"Yes they do. Does anyone else have any questions?", she asks the class and when nobody raised their hand she did a quick nod.

"Very well then. I wish you all good luck. I can't wait to see what you've come up with.", she says then walks to her desk and starts doing paper work.

I start to think to myself what I should right about. Then I hear my demon side's voice.

☆What if you right about the legend that's not so fake?☆ He asks and I shake my head.

♤Do you want then to think I'm a lunatic?!♤ I exclaim the I hear my angel side's voice.

♡Well, you're not wrong but she said write about whatever we want to write about. She didn't say any guidelines or anything like that.♡ My angel side says in a matter-of-factly tone.

♤Ugh! Fine, I'll write the damn essay about that if it makes you two shut the hell up!♤ I exclaim and then sigh.

♤I'm sorry guys I'm.... just not really in the mood for talking right now.♤ I tell them and they nod.

♡It's fine.♡ My angel side says then my demon side speaks.

☆We understand.☆ He says and I gasp.

♤I never thought I'd hear those 2 words coming outta your mouth!♤ I exclaim to which he rolls his to.

☆Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't get used to it.☆ he says making me chuckle them getting to work.

I make the title of my essay. I'm gonna call it, The Not So Fake Legend. That's just for now though until I figure out a better name.

👍" A Few Classes Later "👍

It's lunch time and even though I still haven't ate anything I'm still not hungry. I just, don't feel the mental strength to eat.

Why. Well, I don't know. It's probably cause of my thoughts or something. I was never diagnosed with anything like MDD ( Major Depression Disorder ) or depression, or anything like that for the simple fact that I couldn't afford a therapist and if I could I wouldn't cause I hate talking about how I feel.

I guess you can say that it makes me feel like I'm burdening the person. So, instead of acting on what I feel all the time, I put on a mask. I know some of you know what kinda mask it is.

I put on the 'I'm fine and happy' mask. I pretend to be fine so I don't have to burden people. I pretend to be happy so others around me don't know my true feelings. So, they don't pity me for how I feel or why I feel the way I do.

Anyways, I walk into the cafeteria and go straight to the table usually sit at with Tyler. Haylee, and Scarlet.

They're all seated and have a tray of food in front of them. I sit down at the table on my seat then put my arm on the table and lie my head down on it.

A few minutes later I feel someone tapping my arm I pick my head up and look towards the person who was tapping me on the shoulder.

I see Scarlet smiling sadly at me and I sigh.

"Are you o-", she says before I interrupt her.

"I'm fine, I'm just not feeling all to well today.", I say to her with a small smile. She looks at me confused but then nods in understandment.

"Okay. Well, do you want me to get you some food?", she asks and I shake my head.

"No thank you. I'm not hungry.", I say to her and she gasps dramatically which makes me chuckle quietly.

"Y-you're not h-hungry.", she says and I nod.

"Yeah, I'm not hungry.", I tell her.

"Even though you didn't eat breakfast?", she asks and I nod again.

"Yes.", I say and lie my head back down on my arm.

A couple minutes later I feel something poke my arm and I look up to see a small bag of chips.

"At least eat some of these. You don't have to eat them all right now just some.", Haylee says and I sigh. I sit up, then grab of chips, open them and then take some outta the bag shove them in my mouth.

"Better?", I asks through a mouth full of food earning a grimace from Scarlet.

"Please don't talk with your mouth full. It's kinda gross.", she says and I sigh with an eye roll and a nod.

I finish eating what I had in my mouth and decide to just eat little bit is in the small bag so, I do.

"There, I finished the whole bag.", I say to them after I'm done eating the chips.

The bell rings and I get up to throw away my trash. I walk outta the cafeteria and towards the training grounds.

Yeah, I know. Not the best class after lunch but on the bright side at least I have a free period after this one.

As I walk into what I guess you could call the girl's locker room I hear a death screech. It made me cover my ears cause I swear it could've made my ears bleed if I didn't.

I walk into the locker room to see what the hell the screech was about. When I walk in I see all the girls in a crowd staring at something.

"What the hell is going on?", I ask them none of them budged so, I walk pushed through the crowd apologizing until I got to the front.

The first thing that came to mind was that war was coming. War was coming our way and we need to be prepared for it.

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Quick A/N: Look so I know that my story seems to be going a little to fast and I'm sorry for that. I'm going to use my ADHD and ADD as an excuse for why my story seems to be going at fast pace but I'm going to say that it may play part in why my story seems to be going in a fast pace.

Another thing, my grammar may not always be to good but I do have autocorrect so it helps. The reason why my grammar may not be very good because I have dyslexia and although yes writing stories is hard while having dyslexia, I love challenging myself a bit. So, if anyone (and I mean no offense) is a grammar freak and feels the need to point out a grammar mistake, please do so. This way I'll be able to go back and try my best to fix it.

Thank you all for reading my story! Another chapter will be coming your way very soon! Bye! Love you all!💞💋