+34 Night ³

I could feel my face becoming red , as his gentle yet cold lips touched my hands. I never gave a chance to any man to get closer to me , I never yearned for their love either so up until now I rejected all the proposal I got be it from Noble Family or commoner's.

But this time was different I couldn't act like myself as I was low on mana and exhausted. Normally I would've blasted away the person who tries to do such thing , but I couldn't this time instead I thought ,

'Uwaa he kissed my hand and thanked me , is this the way they thank in his world? Anyways it's too embarrassing for me. Wait a min what am I thinking?'

I regained my composure and looked at Excess I couldn't tell what he was thinking , his mask hid his face and his emotions. I remembered his eyes I saw moments ago , his lightless eyes , no spark , barely alive eyes. Just looking at him made me wonder ,

'Who are you? What is your goal? Where do you come from?'

"Why do you wear a mask?"

'Oops it slipped out. He must have his own reasons.'

Just as I was about tell him that I was in the wrong , he answered first.

×-×-×

'Why do I wear a mask? it would've been easy to tell if their was only one. Well I can atleast tell her this as a thanks for saving my legs , I don't know if it would've been fixed if I exited the game.'

It was a hard thing for me to visit that memory of mine , it was painful for me to a point that I hadn't even told anyone. Everytime I tried to start opening up I thought of the end of the story and would get scared and would chicken out everytime.

'She is just a human made by coding anyways she will forget what I say after the beta testing is over so it shouldn't matter.'

"It's easy I just don't like my face , the two person I trusted most told me that so I believe that and started wearing a mask. It must've been hard for your brother too , living as a talented and genius it isn't that easy just cause you are special. Your brother must know what I mean , getting treated as a special existence even though you didn't ask for it."

I took a deep breath and continued ,

"Everyone looks at you as someone different than them , someone they can't be with , someone they dream to be. I was like that to other everybody looked at me with those eyes of jealousy. Even though they talked with me with a smiling face I could hear them say I want to be like him , he has everything , I hate him."

"Do you think a 9 year old could live with this kind of environment? It was worse than getting bullied , atleast you get attention when you're getting bullied but whenever I scored top in a test they just praised the second ranker. If I won a running match they just congratulate the second ranked runner. I got praised by my parents just to be person I didn't wanted to be , that was before my middle school."

It pained my heart just saying these things but I didn't stop , thinking that it wouldn't matter Lecilia will just forget about it.

"In middle school it's like your Xerus Academy , that was where I met Sera she was somone I bumped into during my break. My best friend in middle friend and my worst nightmare , she was outgoing simple and always with a smile on her face. With her friends she would always be happy , good at studying , good at socializing , good at loving her life. She was someone who had a great future waiting for her."

My breathing got a bit unstable but I still continued ,

"That was until I came into her life , I was just walking in the corridor looking at today's canteen menu. I bumped into her she looked so fragile that I wanted to protect her for some reason. I didn't notice her but apparently she was in the same class as me , the one who approached me was her we started with just being friends but as the time went by I developed feelings for her."

"I decided to confess my feelings after graduation , as my middle school reached it end Sera's test score were going down , she looked tired I asked her if she needed some help. But she didn't accept my help and worked hard herself , until that day I saw her on the roof of our school she was going to jump from the top. I ran to the roof and tried to help her again do you know what she said before jumping down?"

My eyes widened like a crazy person , I looked at Lecilia as I repeated what she said.

"Axel let me be free now please don't help me. I want to be alone now , please let me alone. Do you know how hard it is to keep up with you? I tried to score like you and failed , I tried to keep up with you and failed. You are better than me no...not only than me from everyone , why did you kept showing how good you were. I thought you were alone and tried to help you but why did you made my life so hopeless?"

"I admit it , I know now I'm not comparable to you so please leave me be. Just let me go now , you're perfect Axel an imperfect girl like cant compete with you."

"Saying that she jumped luckily I was able to hold her arm till everyone came to help her. I ran to my home , many thoughts ran through my mind. I showed her my score to show how I'm doing for you , I purposely behaved that way to show that I'm better than everyone else so Sera would choose me when I confess. Silly isn't it , after that I didn't have anything to do thinking that in the end I'm only born to burden others."

"I gave up on showing off and started hiding doing everything I could to be least noticed. But the world was cruel enough to give me a second hope , Yuki was someone who saved me when I was completely gave up on my life. I just spent a night with her fighting the monsters but that time was enough for me to see how different Yuki really was."

"At that time even a small flicker of light was enough for me to believe in myself and live , but when the time came a trash like me couldn't do anything. In the end she sacrificed herself to save me and the only thing I could do was to see her getting stabbed by countless swords."

Tears started flowing out of my mask without me knowing. I couldn't hold them in , these feelings of mine were no less than poison for others.

"But I didn't give up , in this world even if otherworld user's like me died they could just enter again like nothing happened. Because of this I thought that I could just grow strong , strong enough to be by her side and protect her. In our real world she told me that she couldn't stand a loser like me and didn't wanted to see that's why I hide my face , nobody would like to see a face of loser like me."

As I finished my story I felt as if a big weight has been lifted off me the guilt , the pain , the sadness I couldn't tell anyone about getting these feeling off my chest I let out a huge sigh. I looked at Lecilia and saw her crying , she was a Noble so I tried to apologize for my behaviour but before I could say anything she opened her mouth first.

×-×-×

As I heard his story I could see why he acted the way he did , I couldn't help but tear up just by hearing his story. I couldn't feel what he felt , of course I couldn't , no one could say 'I know how you feel' to him. The years I've lived till now looked like nothing compared to him , no it was disrespectful to compare my life with his.

But he was still hiding something from me I wanted to know , I was curious , I wanted to know the real him. With my Divine Eyes I looked at his heart it was still wrapped in darkness.

"Why... Why won't you tell me what happened after that? With my eyes I can see what the other person feels , you haven't told me about your deepest pain yet."

Hearing my words I could see his expression changing his face looked broken , he didn't know how to express how he felt he smiled , he cried , he was confused.

And then he broke.