Overheated

The strong light of the kitchen started to annoy me all of a sudden.

'Let me go to my room already.'

I thought it but didn't have the guts to say it.

"Why won't you tell me the actual reason why you turned off the phone?"

Jung was sat at the same counter while I kept moving the phone from one hand to the other, just liked V did with the pill.

"I just didn't want to talk," I admitted with a sigh, feeling a trap filled with adrenaline open from somewhere inside my body. The venomous substance was quickly mixing with every drop of blood, traveling through every vein. Leaving me restless and tired at the same time.

"I figured that much. But why is that?" The silence that he met after that question made him ask again: "What happened?"

"Nothing much…"

My brother audibly smirked, eyes staring coldly as if I had just insulted him.

"You've been staying at that guy's place for how long now?"

"I told you! He's helping me s.."

"Study, yeah, I know. So, what kind of study session got you filling the tub to the point that the whole floor looks no different from the ground outside?"

"It was…I…it's complicated."

"Let me be frank. Did he and you get in a fight? Or did you two do anything that got you anxious?"

"No! No…"

"Do you even know what I'm referring to?"

'Ah, just let me leave.'

"We're not doing anything Jung. Ok? It's nothing. I just had a bad day. Can't I have a bad day? Am I not allowed to?"

He leaned back, leaving the phone on the counter, and then uttered the words:

"Fine. Then are you going back to his place?"

"Well…I…today…"

He cut me off.

"My girlfriend's in the car, out front. And I didn't tell her about your 'bad day' phone call so she expects to come up here and find the house empty the second I call her. So, if you have nothing else to tell me then I advise you to take anything you need to study and get moving quickly."

I swallowed the little bit of saliva I had left as a drop of water fell from my hair and straight onto the dry grey sweatpants.

"But…" I bit the inside of my cheeks as he simply tilted his head, eyes wide with reproach. "it's raining." I went on to which his lips went up, but his eyes remained the same.

I found myself stuffing clothes in the backpack and an old phone charger without being able to come up with a plan.

My mind was blank.

The wind was easily swaying the trees and the frail umbrella was nowhere near as strong. The closest store was buzzing with people that were probably hiding from the sobbing clouds like I was.

I aimlessly walked around, contemplating if I should or shouldn't turn on the cellphone.

After walking around until I was paranoid that someone will notice I wasn't about to buy anything, I turned it on.

But Namjoon hadn't called once.

The palm of my hand felt sweaty all of a sudden.

A deep breath, like a heavy wave, spilled out of the lungs and then got stuck as the cold air seemed to somehow reach me, despite the fact that this particular isle was the furthest from the lone door of the supermarket.

V's number seemed to be the only option I had but my head shook by itself as my breathing picked up, making me stare at the raindrops that kept getting replaced by now ones. They kept sliding down into the patches of soil, pavement, and puddles.

The last thought I had was: 'Why didn't he call me?'

At first, all the sounds of other people faded and then got replaced by silence at the drop of a hat. Then the window was gone and the world itself had vanished.

It was only after I've hit my head against the shelf that was stacked with canned foods that a second of clarity let me see a man with a briefcase glaring at me, confused. And then my whole body hit the ground or so I assumed. But it was as if there was never any ground or gravity. I was floating somewhere unknown, somewhere where it didn't matter who I was or how I got there.

I was allowed to stay and I longed to stay there as long as possible.

But the man with the suitcase didn't feel the same.

The burn of his slap was now more real than my name.

"Can someone call an ambulance already?!"

"No…" I tried to speak this word, but the lack of reaction meant no one's heard me.

"What happened? Did anyone see?"

"He might be on one of those cucumber diets. My sister also fainted because of it."

One slap, two slaps, and then a third one.

"The ambulance? Did you call?"

"No. You?"

"The manager, where's the manager?"

"Don't call…"

"There's no need. I'm a doctor."

"Oh, how lucky!"

"Do you know what's wrong with him?"

"He fainted."

"Obviously…but why?"

"Who knows? There can be something medically wrong with him, like lack of nutrients, insufficient oxygenation to the brain, or something as simple as accumulated stress…"

"I am the manager. What's wrong with the customer?"

"Fine! I'm fine!" I screamed as loudly as I could, which wasn't much. Instantly aware that my eyes were not open just yet. It took multiple attempts to pry them open. It actually felt as if they've been glued together.

The man whose suitcase and legs I caught a glimpse of before was now all I could see.

"How many fingers?" He asked with a smile that I found unusual, considering the current situation.

"Two." I breathed out as my heart started beating out of my chest that very second.

All memories came flooding back as if for a moment I'd been nothing but an unplugged machine.

"What were your symptoms prior to the syncope?"

"What did he say, synco, what?" A lady from behind him asked someone else.

"Thank you for your help, really. But I just had a bad day, that's all."

"Stress it is then. Does anyone have some water?"

"There's really no need…"

He helped me up and pushed the bottled water in my hand as soon as he got it. The smile was still there, even if the corners of the lips were down.

"Thanks. But…does anyone know where my phone is?"

"This one?"

The woman who I kept hearing had been none other than an old granny who lived in the same building as I.

'Shit.'

"Thank you. I really appreciate your concern, but I just didn't eat and…"

"Funny. You claimed that you had a bad day a minute ago, not that you didn't fuel your body properly."

The doctor's voice was loud and clear, coming from behind me.

"Ah…it contributed to it. That's all."

"Would you like to come with me and get an IV at…"

"No! No…I really appreciate it, but I feel perfectly normal now." To prove my point, I walked towards the backpack and picked it up, feeling like the gravity was heavier than usual, but hoped that it didn't show. I faked a smile and then took another sip of water, asking: "See?"

"All's well that ends well." A man in his late twenties wearing an apron with a tag that read: manager, informed the two employers, who clapped their hands exactly once right after. But the doctor ironically retorted:

"Of course, as long as he doesn't have a concussion."

I touched my head in front of him, stealing glances at the old lady, saying: "It doesn't hurt. Really. I'm good as new."

"Well, I have to go, but I am glad that you're well. Young men need to take care of their bodies better these days."

I nodded to the woman who started departing slowly and turned to see the doctor holding out a business card.

"I don't need it. I am…"

"Let's assume that's true. But what if you faint in front of a moving car next time?"

A fear that I didn't have before had me reaching out for the card without another word.

He picked up his suitcase, and walked away saying: "Take care."

I looked down at the piece of laminated plastic and was hit with some kind of nostalgia at the sight of the name.

'Jung Ho-Seok? When did I hear that name before?'

Buried the piece of paper somewhere deep in the backpack.

The canned apricot halves from the floor were the only proof that something had gone wrong on this isle. Hence, I just put them back.

Then glared at the phone that still had no missed calls, and no messages while biting my lower lip. It confused me.

Bursting with adrenaline and unbearable fear, I walked out in a hurry. I was slightly embarrassed when I passed by all the people who saw the unconscious version of me just a few minutes ago.

The rain hadn't died down much, but it was almost as if it wasn't there. Nothing was there but the urge to go see Namjoon and ask him why and yet, when I reached the front door of his house, I hesitated. And without knowing the exact reason myself, I just tried the door.

I denied the thought that I was returning since I was afraid of going anywhere else. Or that his silence meant I might've been wrong somehow. Either way, all racing thoughts stopped when this one appeared:

'It's open.'

Namjoon was sitting at the table with the tv at a low volume, studying in an oversized sweatshirt.

He glanced up only for a moment and then continued writing. As if I wasn't there.

Shut the door and abandoned the open umbrella on the kitchen tiles to dry.

Then sat down in front of him, right by the tv, biting the inside of my lip until I could taste blood. Leaving the backpack on the floor unconsciously.

'Look at me.' I thought.

"You didn't lie? Did you?"

Namjoon completely ignored these questions.

'Pay attention to me.'

A hole from deep inside made itself known. It was tearing everything around it. Painfully.

"I'm sorry." I blurted out.

The loud scribbling stopped, but his eyes were fixated in the exact same spot as before.

"What for?"

"For... leaving like that."

I quickly added:

"And for what I've said."

"Jungkook. If I came home late after not answering my phone for hours and then told you that you lied about God knows what, how would you feel?"

"I… don't know."

"Think about it."

The sound of the pen moving across the sheet and the tv was muffled by invisible forces. And yet the actors kept talking while my brain was quiet.

("Pro: See Jake all the time.

Con: See Judith all the time."

"What are you doing? Give me that."

"I'm sorry. It was just lying there."

"That's private."

"Okay."

"I got another 'pro' for you."

"Yeah? What's that?"

"If you hook back up with Olive Oyl, I won't have to scrub your toilet anymore."

"Pro: No more Berta."

"You're not really thinking about going back, are you?"

"I don't know. She wants to, but I'm torn."

"You're not torn. You're gutless. Do you still love her?"

"Of course, I do. I mean, you know, we've been through a lot of things together. She's the mother of my son."

"Okay, listen to me, Zippy. If that's all it took to make a marriage...I'd have a husband for each of my tattoos."

"You have tattoos?"

"Yeah. You wanna see them?"

"No."

"You're overthinking this. When your dog dies, you don't make a list. You bury him, plant a shrub on top...tell the kids he's running around a farm, and move on."

"That's actually a very apt metaphor. My failed marriage is like a dead dog. But it serves as fertilizer for the shrub, which represents my new life. So, if I try to revitalize the marriage...You know, digging up the dog. Then I'm killing the shrub, which is me.

"As you said, it's apt."

"Thank you, Berta. You're a very insightful woman."

"I know. In a just world, you'd be washing my shorts."

"Well, thanks, nevertheless."

"Last chance to see those tattoos."

"No thanks.")

It was as if the desperation manifested itself into an invisible cobra that coiled up around my ribs and started squeezing. The stomach acid went up and disturbed everything in its path.

"Upset?" I forced out, without having thought about it at all. But felt as if the more time passed without him liking me, the sicker I'd feel.

"Try again."

'What…' Air escaped out. 'am I doing? I should be…' Air barely got through the nostrils fully. 'the one upset, but…' I squeezed the front of the shirt covering my chest and held it there, eyes closed. 'he probably didn't know she's alive, and even if he did know…talking about it…' I audibly exhaled and the writing came to an abrupt halt once again. 'wouldn't it endanger me?'

"Angry." I stated. Eyes were now fully open, yet cast down.

"Good talk." He dead-panned, getting up, about to pass me by in a jiff. But I instinctively reached out, grabbing the hem of the pants and holding onto it.

"I was confused," I told him and myself.

"About?"

"I…researched your ex and I thought she's still…alive."

The eyes that looked down at me caused a real, uncontrollable shiver. I continued:

"I could be wrong though. I don't know…I thought…"

He lowered himself to my level only to harshly grab a handful of hair. My hands fell limb by my sides.

"Jungkook…"

Tears started running down my face the second the pain registered and despite the hate that filled those eyes, I found myself breathing easily the more they stayed in my direction.

"Mm?"

"If I buried you under roughly, four to six feet underground, would you be able to climb back up? Life-threatening injuries and all?"

"Ah…I don't…think so…" The sobs wanted to get louder, but I held them down, bouncing around in the neck like balls jumping in a closed container.

"If you want, we could dig her up to make sure. I'd love to do that, after all, she's buried in the forest that's right next to this house. The earth's wet too so it helps with dig…"

I leaped forwards. Some hairs were pulled out in the process of it. I was hugging him without consent for the first time. I could feel the rejection oozing out of his skin. But I continued to cry in his shirt like a child.

It took a while until he started massaging my hair.

"Donnn't talk like tthhat…I diddn't mean tto…"

"I know. I know."

We stood like that, with the Tv playing in the background. Until it dawned on me that the furious song of the rain was finished. Through the sliding see-through door, there wasn't even a single drop falling from the sky anymore.

Namjoon made some tea, covered both of us with the same long blanket, and let me watch tv with my head against the wall while he continued studying. Regardless, the anxiety started springing its ugly head back up the second when the eyelids started getting heavier.

'Why am I not high right now? Oh right, the exams...The fucking exams…'

I thought to myself and drank some more chamomile tea. It tasted more bitter than before.

The sky got so dark, so fast that I missed the moment when they were still visible, the moment right before they got engulfed. Or maybe, it lasted only a second, one that was invisible to the naked eye.

Namjoon turned off the tv when he most likely assumed that I finally fell asleep. But little did he know that I wasn't able to.

This is why he was startled when I covered his hand with mine.

He was about to say something, but he simply stared instead.

And I felt my eyes welling up again.

With the image of the corpse of his dead girlfriend, buried somewhere, too close to this house, I crawled towards him and cupped one of the cheeks before closing the distance between our lips.

He didn't get absorbed by it as I did though since when I pulled back, he asked: "What's with you today? I don't understand any of it."

"My head's a mess." Was the most humorous reply I could come up with.

"You don't say…"

I smiled against his lips and then leaned in again. This time, the idle hands wrapped themselves around the waist, easily raising my body to gently drop it in his lap.

The sound of our scattered breathing was now, the loudest.

The right hand-pulled on the hair for the second time that day, but only to expose the neck for his hungry licking and biting.

Moans filled his ears as a reply. That had him lifting me up by the thighs as feet locked behind his back. He walked towards the bedroom steadily. I hung onto his neck while feeling both clothed heartbeats running wild.

He laid me down first and then against unspoken protests, he left for a bit and returned with a tall glass of water.

"I just drank so much tea…" I found myself mumbling right before he dropped a pill into the glass and stirred it with a finger.

I drank a bit. And then he urged me to drink more and more. When I put it down, it was nearly empty and I was a bit afraid of what was now getting digested.

"Didn't you say…we shouldn't do this unless we're at a party?"

"Don't worry. I'll stay sober."

'That's not what I asked…'

After dragging one leg towards him, I simply fell flat on my back. He positioned himself between my legs immediately.

Namjoon rubbed his body against mine while licking my ear lazily.

The more he teased my neck, shoulders, and chest, the more afraid I felt.

But then all fear started to dissipate like the clouds outside. In the blink of an eye, it was out of reach, out of view, and out of mind. Either way, I had no access to it anymore even after I've asked it to come forth. Shocked by its sudden disappearance.

Before I got to ask him about it, my mouth was filled with his tongue. It circled mine while my mouth hung open as if I was incapable of closing it.

Time started passing and the licks got just a bit faster, the bites just a bit deeper and my stomach warmer than it's ever been.

Everything felt right.

As the warmth started spreading more and more.

He took off my shirt and the cold air felt more pleasant than it should be humanly possible.

And when the pants came off. I realized that even the bottom of my feet wasn't cold for the first time in forever.

The entirety of the body was now submerged into the most blissful warm bath that kept at bay any negative emotions I had ever had. I welcomed every emotion like a river welcomed any rock thrown into it since none of them hurt.

His now bare chest and messy hair were making me smile. Then slowly but surely, he was making circles around my nipples, asking: "How do you feel?"

"Hot."

"That's all?"

"How am I supposed to feel?"

He bit the right nipple hard and I simply moaned.

"Good."

Namjoon mumbled and then suddenly touched my cock. I didn't even realize I was hard until his fingers made contact with it.

He licked all the way down to my stomach and then stopped. The cold hand jerked me off way too slowly.

"Don't stare…" I pleaded, assuming that shame should make its presence known but not finding the emotion that corresponded with that word.

"I'm just surprised that it's already leaking…"

"Sto…"

The word got caught in my throat when the hand that was squeezing my tip a second ago traveled down and pushed a wet finger inside.

'Isn't it supposed to…hurt more?'

"How does that feel?"

"Good?"

"You're asking me?"

The other hand started pumping and by the time the fourth finger was in, I'd already ejaculated, and some drops managed to hit my stomach.

'It's like we're under the afternoon sun, in July…'

The four fingers slipped out and left me empty for just a moment until slightly warmer, five sticky fingers went in.

"It's too much..." I complained.

"You'll get used to it in a bit."

It was just then that it dawned on me that I had been staring at the bare ceiling for the entire time. So, I looked down, before my naked body, at a quiet Namjoon stroking himself with one hand and fisting me with the other.

The urge to kiss him was there, but all I was able to do was lay back down and feel the warmth from my stomach starting to get unbearably hot.

Then the long knuckles hit something that made my back arch.

"Too deep?" He asked.

I nodded, but he kept going deeper and deeper and only a tinge of pain was present but it was existent nonetheless.

When the fist slipped out, he left the room again.

The sound of running water hit my ears long enough for me to sit up and drink the rest of the concoction. It was less bitter than before.

He returned so I could see him coating himself with lube as he got nearer and nearer to my feet.

"Namjoon…" I blurted and lost my train of thought immediately.

"Hm?"

"Will it hurt?"

'That wasn't what I meant to ask…'

"I doubt it."

And indeed, after he kneeled down and had me looking at the ceiling again, hand pulling my head back, he shoved himself inside of me without warning. And it was as warm as the rest of me.

The tip of the penis hit around for a while until the spot that made my toes curl was found and abused repeatedly.

I moaned and moaned, by myself. Reached out to wrap my hands around his neck, but he didn't lean down. Instead, he pushed me down, only to hold my right leg up by the ankle. He just kept going in and out, deeper and faster without touching any other body part.

When ears started to feel like they were burning, I covered them, while my hard-on lightly hit the stomach in tandem with every single thrust.

"Why are you…" I mumbled with a scorching breath while the insides of the stomach moved around. Like a whirlpool inside a tiny pot.

The walls of my ass were stretched thin and yet they didn't protest much until he hit way too deeply. So deep that I felt pain for the first time, so I cried out.

'He's not even looking at me…' I thought but all I felt was openness, towards the air itself, the sheet against my back, and the man's erection that was now, splitting me in half.

I reached out to stroke myself, but he wrapped his fingers around the wrist at once.

I whined and then whined even louder when the thurst seemed to miss the spots that caused me pleasure on purpose.

"Let me…"

I wiggled my hand but didn't manage to free it.

"Jungkook?"

The voice was monotone and the lack of eye contact was not lost of me.

"Yes?"

Namjoon's fingers felt tighter around the ankle as all motion ceased. His penis remained deep inside while his lips moved:

"How did you research a girl whose body was never found?"

My heart started beating faster, heating up, and I almost wanted to shush it as if he'd be able to tell what the organ inside my chest was doing just by looking.

All I could do was stare inside the eyes that stared back. Eyes that looked up after a long time and that wouldn't even blink.

"It's only after a few years…after a…a…"

'Why is my mouth so dry?'

"The missing person is declared, aw…." Namjoon pulled all the way out and thrust back in, pulling me even closer to him by the wrist. "Dead," I concluded, ready for my chest to burst open.

He simply tilted his head and half smiled, breathing out a quick: "Hm."

I wanted to look away but didn't.

"And in how much time is it declared?"

"I think…a, five? I don't remember the exact…aw…number."

"What do you mean? Didn't you research it today?" He thrust in again and it was as if he managed to hit the outside lining of my stomach.

"I did! I did…but that was not important since it hasn't been long enough anyways."

I looked down for only a second and saw the hard member that looked like something that shouldn't belong inside a hole that used to be so small. I couldn't look at it since my mind was reminded that this was supposed to hurt, so it did and it would've unless his words didn't erase that image and replaced it with another.

"Still. Shouldn't you know since you'd looked it up in a magical archive by typing in a name that I don't remember mentioning before?"

"Well…"

"Well?"

Taehyung's face was all I could see for a moment.

Before another thrust replaced it with Namjoon's real one.

The bone of the ankle hurt from the firm squeeze of his fingers.

"Did I mention it before?" He fake-asked himself.

"I don't remember…"

"Then who told you her name? Huh?"

I felt my eyes opening wide and though I knew that was a mistake, I found myself unable to control them.

"No…ahh…one. "

He pulled me towards him by the wrist and midway let go to grab my hair instead.

All I could do was stare. Mind empty, mouth lacking one drop of saliva, and every single cell in my body burning up by the second.

"That's not a name that I know. Now, think about a name that I might know."

'Shouldn't I be scared?'

"Why does it matter?"

Those words had his eyes match the with of mine.

He roughly pulled on my long hair until I was holding onto his hand desperately.

"It hurts…"

"Why does it matter?" He spat. Anger coating every word. "Jungkook, look at me."

I heard him, but I was too busy trying to keep the pain from burning the entire scalp.

"Look at me!" He repeated louder, letting go of the hair and at the same time, pushing me down.

I watched him watch me from above with his erect penis twitching inside.

"Don't answer me with another question. Don't answer me with any other word than the name of the person who told you what Her Name Was! Now! WHO WAS IT?"

'Wha…'

I felt it. Right above my stomach, something moved and it allowed fear to escape for just a second before it was gone again. I couldn't even cry. I couldn't come up with a good enough lie. I couldn't even think of a name. I could just notice his furrowed eyebrows and twisted features as they cast shadows upon me.

I reached out and stroked one cheek.

And despite the fact that the pain was probably minimal when it happened, I knew that my silence and my hand touching him had been a mistake.

He fully entered me, faster than before, continuously, taking no breaks between thrusts. Seemingly without a care about what he was hitting. I moaned and screamed simultaneously. Then I tried to slide up by putting all my force into the right foot, but all that achieved was a change in position. He lifted both legs straight up, into the air, held onto them with one arm around the knees, and lunged himself into my hole again and again. So close and so deeply that I felt his balls hit my ass for the very first time.

It hurt so much that I could only listen to someone that wasn't even me anymore moan and cry, as the echoes of my own voice hit the walls and then returned like a boomerang into my eardrums. It filled my head. I stared at the ceiling, arms flailing around, toes curling, and fire escalating.

It strangely started to feel good.

The more he thrust into me, the harder and wetter I got.

The more I wanted to touch myself, but couldn't find the energy to do so.

And then some kind of pain shoot right through the middle of the body and traveled up, through the entirety of the spine.

Too many minutes after this punishment has begun, I sneaked a glance at his face but was unable to see it. The darkness of the room, the hair covering his face, and the straight line of his lips didn't help.

After a while, I was no longer inside a warm bath but submerged in the lava of a volcano.

He swiftly turned me on my belly when cum started dripping out my cock. He held my ass up by the hips.

This new position felt better and worse at the same time.

It made my cock move back and forth.

My belly was full.

My ass was full.

My penis was full.

And I felt like I was about to explode.

My mind was empty.

My chest hurt.

My veins burned.

And I couldn't hold myself up with my arms. Hence, I just fell, headfirst and felt him enter me from behind without me being able to move.

"Nam…"

That was all I managed to say when my cock was so hard that it was intolerable.

I reached down, carefully, and barely grazed the tip before he pinned that hand down and pulled it towards him.

He kept slapping my ass with his front. And I kept trying to swallow saliva that didn't exist.

"Ple…"

Eyes shut on their own. Even though I realized only then that I hadn't seen a thing for a while now.

The friction against my knees, the lack of his moans, and the excess of my own. I found heaven and hell colliding while they were still battling inside. My body didn't know if the pain or the pleasure was winning so both were reaching a climax I couldn't manage.

Though I mentally wanted to keep being filled. To be floating. It was like I was holding my breath in the bath again. But the hand that made me one with the ground now made my cock painfully rub against the sheet and the thick, long, erect penis that was being rammed inside me without mercy was certainly not letting me think about the lack of air.

I was suddenly, slightly aware that I was still making some kind of sound, but I could barely hear or recognize myself.

And when I orgasmed without any help, I didn't feel less hot. In fact, the fever between my legs intensified. The void that I was witnessing turned white for a while. And Namjoon's name escaped from my lips somehow. That fueled his anger further. And it showed the second his fingers started digging into my thighs.

'Ah…what's wrong with me?' I thought. Quietly. To myself.

I stole a second glance when the room started getting brighter only to see that he's barely sweated. He didn't even look tired. The lips were still stuck in the same straight line.

At first, I thought it was because I was so loud that I couldn't hear him moaning. But he's been fucking me for so long that I had lost my voice along the way. I was huffing against the mattress as if I was the one doing the fucking. Tongue kept getting out and I kept forcing it back in.

I must've fallen asleep at some point cause when I opened my eyes next, his head was next to mine and his penis was still moving inside.

The room was bright and the tips of my toes were touched by invisible ice cubes.

I wrapped both arms around him and despite the painful unconscious erection I must've had during sleep, and the one that was still going in and out at a regular, deep pace, I stubbornly kept embracing him. And Namjoon's irregular breathing tickled my left ear. The left hand caressed the top of my hair once before I fell back asleep while he was still fucking me. I woke up when his tongue was going in and out of my mouth. As he demanded: "The name. Give me a name."

I fell back asleep after I came so hard between our stomachs that I was able to let out some raspy moans.

The next time I woke up was because of the muscles aching, the heavy thirst, and the sharp, constant pain from my backside.

I crawled towards the kitchen naked, cum dripping out every time I forced my knee across the floor a bit further. Hearing nothing but Namjoon's snoring.

Collapsed on the cold tiles after the already red knees gave in. I waited, telling myself not to panic, begging my own brain to stop showing images of last night.

Stared at the now dry black open umbrella hovering above me, belly up and arms opened wide on both sides. As if I was protecting only my face and neck from the imaginary sun of the kitchen with its shadow. Smelling oranges that probably didn't exist and muscles that I doubted I've ever used were hurting every time I breathed in.

I tried screaming.

But all I could do was open my mouth that was as dry as the air and nothing more.

Thinking: 'I want more.'