Underneath (Special part 1)

AN: Hi Smokers! So nice to write to you again. And to hear from some of you. Thank you for keeping me in your mind. So, I hope you like this…continuation? Extras? Whatever you want to call it. It's here, it's long and it's yours. And you might need to lock the door, and close the windows and stuff. Ahem. I might write some more in the future but I am not making any promises I am not one hundred percent I will fulfill but I am 80 percent sure I will. One long chapter every...month? Two months? We'll see. Until then.

This chapter is from Namjoon's perspective. Enjoy:

We were hanging out in Dwayne's and Martin's room. Bambi, Martin, and Dwayne were all paying attention to a show that took place in a jungle. And that's all I knew. After a few too many two hours long episodes, V had to leave for his doctor's appointment.

While Jungkook and I couldn't get invested enough. So, we ended up retreating to the opposite side of the room.

"What are you doing?"

"Stay still." He demanded, slightly irritated.

"Aa…guys?" Bambi was grinning widely from the low table. The eyes of the other two were narrowed, staring straight at us with their arms crossed at their chests.

"What?" I snapped.

But Jungkook kept putting on the cream on my face.

Martin cleared his throat and then pointed at him and me, saying: "You two…are you two dating?"

"Yes," I replied.

"No." Jungkook said at the same time.

And I swiftly faced him. Appalled.

"What do you mean NO?!"

Jungkook leaned into my left ear and whispered: "We did not discuss this yet."

"What is there to discuss?!" I kept yelling.

"If we should tell them." He whispered back.

"Why the hell shouldn't we?!"

"Shh!"

"Yea. Jungkook. Why shouldn't you tell us?" Dwayne seconded me, looking upset as he tightened his crossed arms even more.

"Well…a…we're both guys." Jungkook pointed out the obvious.

"So?" He asked.

"Did we ever say we have a problem with homosexuals?" Martin's eyes widened as he asked this and Jungkook scratched the back of his neck with cream still on his fingers.

"Not exactly, but…"

I grabbed a hold of his shoulders and shook him once even though he was already looking only at me from the second I made contact with his skin.

"Jungkook, did anyone else ask if you were single and you said yes?"

"Aa…no?"

And my stomach dropped.

"What the hell?!"

"Sorry! I didn't know we were supposed to tell people."

"You don't have to broadcast it, but…if someone would've asked about it. That's when it's time to tell people!"

"I will tell them the truth from now on. Happy?"

"Them? How many people asked you?!"

He looked down and seemed to be blushing for a second before he turned to look at the guys. I glanced at them too. The two were eating this up like it was a soap opera while Jimin was trying his best to suppress his laughter. I turned Jungkook's head to face me and all I got was:

"Does it matter?" He asked softly.

"Of course! Why didn't you tell me?" And I continued to broadcast our business to the room.

"I didn't think we were telling people!" So, he matched my volume at last.

"Not unless you were asked!"

"Now I know!"

"Who was it? Do I know him? Or her? Was it a guy or a…."

"Guys!"

Jimin interrupted, but we continued to stare at each other. Pent up.

Martin started laughing without a care in the world.

"Do you want us to leave the room?" Jimin went on.

"No." I quickly let him know, and then sighed. "It's fine."

"That's what you say now…"Jungkook said under his breath and I immediately shook my head. Reached out and caressed his cheek.

I heard Dwayne going: "Aww." And I wasn't sure if it was a mocking sound or whether he was finding us cute.

It bothered me all the same.

However, I ignored him and whispered to Jungkook instead: "I am sorry. You're right. We didn't talk about it."

"Now we did." He pointed out.

"Yeah."

"But now they know. So, it's all good. Right?"

I connected our foreheads and as I was closing the space between our lips, Jungkook looked to the left for a moment as his eyes appeared panicked. But I captured his lips and forced my tongue in nonetheless.

"Na…m…"

Martin catcalled and Jimin smacked him so hard that it echoed.

He also pressed play on the jungle show after calling both of them: "Horny teenagers."

Maybe they were still staring but I kept touching our tongues and after a bit, anxious Jungkook gave in to the pleasure and moved his tongue too.

His panicked eyes finally shut, and as I turned him around so they wouldn't be able to see anything but the back of my head, I helped him up on my lap and wrapped my arms around him as the tiniest moan burst in my mouth.

He didn't have a problem with kissing.

This seemed to be this one somewhat sexual activity that he was able to get lost in if I didn't get harsh and didn't bite until blood came out.

He'd melt in my mouth and his body would be pudding in a few seconds.

But as soon as I'd try to slip a hand under his clothes, he'd pull back.

I tried not to do that.

But that didn't change the fact that I was worried that we were never going to do anything more than make out. Or at least, it would take just enough time to drive me insane.

"They're really going at it…" Martin pointed out in hushed tones.

And another smack from Jimin ensued.

I let Jungkook breathe and pulled back myself. Doe-like eyes opened and looked up at me with naivete. Two red puffy cheeks and pink wet lips had me mesmerized.

'Ah, shit. I want all of them to leave me alone with him now.'

"We got distracted from studying again," Jungkook told me.

"Yeah. Sorry."

"It's not your fault. It's your dry skin." He nodded to himself, avoiding my hungry gaze and focusing on whatever un-moisturized section was bothering him.

"I agree."

I connected our foreheads again and breathed in and out deeply as I placed him beside me and picked up the notebook.

"So, did you read the book?" I asked, trying to sound upbeat. Feeling my skin tingling, and my fingers were crumbling the edges of the paper.

"Aa…no."

"Then what am I supposed to help you with?" I asked with a sigh. But there was no reply.

I frowned at the pleading eyes coupled with the forced grin.

"I thought it'd be better if you would've narrated it to me. Since you can explain stuff so well…"

"No, Jungkook. Read it."

"Come on!"

Jimin shushed us with scary-looking eyes.

Jungkook went on quieter: "If you do this then I'll go running with you."

"If you don't start moving more, you'll have to run to the hospital anyway."

He batted his eyes at me as I rolled mine.

"Please?" He insisted.

The joined fingers and leaning torso.

'How much I wish you were asking me something else.' I thought.

"Fine." I caved.

Two hours later, he didn't agree with the choices that the author has made for the characters. And for some reason, I got lost track of how we even started talking about it in the first place.

"I am just saying…why did he have to make them suffer so much?" He asked for the tenth time.

"Because that's how life was in 1700 for those types of people!"

"For everyone?"

"Most people that served others." I assumed with a shrug.

"Then he should've written about the ones who were having a good time."

"Who'd read that? And what would anyone learn from it?!"

I was slapping the floor with the notebook at this point.

"I would read it and learn how to feel good. I mean she had two miscarriages and then the husband didn't bother to comfort her! He didn't care! Why should she?"

I sighed, lifting a finger to stop him from bashing the husband for all of his faults again.

"Jungkook. I didn't say he didn't care. I only said that he had to go to war."

"And I said: What about her?"

"He didn't exactly have much of a choice. And miscarriages happen all the time. Especially then."

"Really?"

"Really."

There was a brief silence that was met with disbelief:

"How do you know that to be true?"

I almost jumped on him when something touched my shoulder.

"What?" I asked as calmly as I could but it came out as if I was angry at Martin for coming up to us.

He, however, squatted behind me, grinning.

"How's the little study slash love club going?"

"Horrible," I said.

"Good," Jungkook said at the same time.

"Sounds like true love." Martin sang. "Love like love is so lovingly…"

"What do you want Martin?" I interrupted his song, exasperated.

"I was wondering how I've never realized you two had the hots for each other but after watching you lately and for the past hour…"

"What did you discover?" I mocked with real annoyance towards him now.

"I think it's because you two fight like cats and dogs all the time."

"We're not fighting. We're just talking." Jungkook explained softly.

And my heart picked up its pace for a second after hearing him defend us.

"It doesn't sound that way."

"We're not fighting, Martin." I agreed with Jungkook, smiling a small smile.

"Oke, oke. But how long have you two been together anyways?"

I looked up at the ceiling and came up with: "Two years? Or more?"

"And neither of you said a word!" Martin wasn't just disappointed but enraged.

"No! No. We've broken up after we got here." Jungkook quickly tried to clarify, holding his hands up.

Martin pointed to the ground, saying: „Here?"

"In uni."

"So it's more than two years," I mumbled.

"We were broken up for months Namjoon." Jungkook went on and as if the two of us staring at him suddenly made him shy. Hence, he got up saying he has to go to the bathroom.

Martin jumped in his spot, crossing his legs and smirking in a way he's never done before.

I raised an eyebrow at this and tried to get rid of whatever was about to come.

"Aren't you missing the show that you love and adore?"

"Don't care. The person I was rooting for was kicked out three episodes ago."

"Bummer." I mocked further.

"Two years ha…" He went on.

"I don't understand why are you so interested all of a sudden."

"I am not! I am not…it's just, I didn't think Jungkook and you were doing the deed, you know? I thought we were all getting none this entire time. And yet, you two…"

"We were broken up so we haven't done it in…a year? A long time. Wait…why am I telling you this?"

He leaned forwards when I was still lost in murky thoughts and I almost jumped back from the quick movement.

Martin exaggerated his sadness by pulling the edges of his lips down as he supported his head in his hands. Inquiring:

"How long since you've gotten back together?"

"Four months? More or less."

"Been dry for four months even though you've been together for more than a year before?"

"Don't remind me…"

I started massaging my forehead at once and slapped the notebook to the ground to release some frustration but to no avail.

"He's punishing you for something?"

That question had me pondering for a moment.

"I don't think so…no. Why?"

"Girls usually upheld sex from me when they wanted to punish me for something."

"No. Jungkook is just…sober."

"I don't follow."

"He's more likely to go along with it when he's not sober," I admitted with sadness.

Thinking one second later: 'Why am I discussing this with him?'

Thought that remained unanswered and forgotten when he slapped his thighs and suggested:

"Then get a bottle of wine and go to town. I don't understand how that would be an issue."

"Martin! Come quick! Elaina fell into the sea and her lashes slid down to her chin! You have to see this."

Martin widened his eyes and ran off in a heartbeat.

Just in time for Jungkook to quietly get in and reclaim his spot before me.

"What were you thinking about?" He wanted to know.

"Nothing…now where were we? Ah, yes. The importance of war."

Two days later I was helping him write a paper in his room and as he was crossing things he's written out and replacing them with my modified version, Jungkook seemed so immersed in what we were doing that I almost hated myself for thinking about introducing any kind of substance back in his life.

'Is he even realizing that he's getting lost in his activities? Like he gets into them for once? Not like last month when he couldn't pay attention to shit. But is he actually into doing the mundane stuff or is he hiding his misery from me?'

"And?" He asked.

"And what?" I asked back, puzzled.

"What do I write next?" He tapped the notebook with no patience.

"Yes. Let's… take a break."

"Now?"

"Yeah. It's nine PM and I need a cup of coffee."

I shut the notebook and left it on his desk. Got up from the chair and walked over to the tea station where V kept stacked at all times with the most ridiculous flavors. And when all I found was a mild cappuccino pack, I almost wanted to scold him although he wasn't present.

'But there were all kinds of flavored instant coffee minipacks here, even after V quit it due to insomnia and Jungkook because of anxiety. And now…I…did I drink it all? Does that mean I have a problem? Nah…it's fine.'

"Namjoon, can you make me a cup of tea?"

I grabbed the chamomile teabag from the yellow box and tossed it into the cup he usually used. As I was pouring the hot water over it, I mentally transported myself into my old kitchen and I could see my hands crushing a pill between two teaspoons, and watched the powder drop into Jungkook's tea.

'Bad thought. Bad…' I kept repeating that to myself until Jungkook pulled me out of that memory.

"Do we have to go running tomorrow? I don't think we'll finish soon."

"We will finish in one hour and we'll go jogging tomorrow," I stated.

He murmured something inaudible under his breath as I was approaching the desk with two cups.

I sat down on the chair beside him. And as he was writing something that I didn't approve of, I reached out and rubbed his thigh casually, saying: "Have some tea and stop staring so closely at the page. You'll get a migraine again."

He straightened up and picked up his cup, raising one eyebrow with confusion since he's caught me staring.

"What?"

"Nothing. Just looking at you." I shamelessly confessed.

"Ok…"

"I like how you look with your hair cut shorter."

"You said you liked me with long hair too."

"I think I just like you with hair…"

He smirked, saying:

"Too bad. I was thinking of shaving my head just yesterday but now that I know…"

"Ha-ha." I ironically let out and leaned closer toward him as he took another sip.

He didn't take my hand off his thigh. He never did because it meant nothing as long as I didn't move it anywhere else, but I still hoped it elicited something as I was massaging it.

Kissed his cheek as he put the cup down and turned his head to look at me, just as confused as before.

As if it wasn't obvious. As if the sun didn't come up every morning and hid under the moon at night.

"What now?"

"Kiss me."

He placed a quick peck and then simply stared.

I smiled, cupped his left cheek, and then pulled lightly on his chin so his lips would part.

Breathed in his mouth and then went tongue in first and as I was fucking his mouth with it, he kept leaning back and away because probably, it was too much.

But I got up from the chair, followed him, sliding my hand to the outer side of his thighs, and grabbed on the skin I could on each side.

He probably didn't realize it. Jungkook's head was pulled back, breath scattered as he received my tongue as it went in and out.

He caught it between his lips after a bit and sucked on it as both my hands went toward his ass.

And I had to stop there.

I knew I should, but I was having a really hard time since his lips kept sucking on my tongue hungrily.

When he tried to straighten his head since his neck was probably hurting, I pulled back and watched him massaging his nape. Avoiding my eyes.

Unknowingly, I had pulled the chair away from the desk and I was now leaning over him, hands under his ass as he was still sitting on the chair. Torso bent above him. I planted kisses from his lips to his neck where I started licking lazily.

"Don't bite." He pleaded.

"I know."

I went lower towards his collarbone and started sucking on it as I squatted down and kept grabbing and releasing his ass cheeks.

"You're going to leave marks…" He breathed out.

"You don't want people to know you're mine? Don't you?"

I nibble with control, and then licked over it. I did it again and again before I was sure I'd left a red spot behind.

Kissed my way up to his ear and bit on the lobe before I circled the inside of it with the tip of my tongue.

"Nam…Joon…"

He was shifting in his seat and into the palms of my hands that I was now holding still to not scare him away.

"Mmm?"

"I think we should finish the paper."

I pushed my tongue into his ear and when a small moan escaped him, I almost lost all control as I grabbed his ass tighter and dug my fingers into it.

I kept shoving it in his ear as he rubbed his thighs and knees together. I almost wanted to ask if he was hard but told myself I shouldn't. And when his hand pushed my chest away with little strength, I retreated my tongue and slid my hands from under his butt to the slide. Only to go back to rubbing the front of his thighs. This time with both hands as I stared at his red cheeks and shallow breathing.

"You don't like it?" I asked. Trying not to sound needy for approval.

"I do."

"Then?"

"There's an exam in two weeks."

My eyebrow raised before I could control it. And whatever soft tone I used before, was gone when I inquired:

"What does that have to do with me touching and kissing you?"

"I am just saying that it's distracting…"

"I sure hope so." I snapped.

He pouted unconsciously as he scolded me by saying my name alone:

"Namjoon."

I sighed. Took my hands off his thighs. Walked behind him, and pushed the chair back into the hole of the desk. Sat back down, scooted the chair closer to his, and picked up the notebook.

"Start writing," I told him.

Just like he predicted, we haven't finished until two AM. And he was seconds away from sleeping when I back hugged him in bed.

It wasn't so romantic with V snoring loudly from the other side of the room. But I couldn't help breathing his scent in and kissing the side of his neck as I kept him tightly and closely by the middle.

"Let's go to sleep…" He suggested when I started kissing his nape too.

"This helps me sleep."

"…it doesn't help me."

"It's distracting you?"

"A bit…"

"I am glad."

I wrapped my hands around him tighter and by mistake, rubbed my front against his backside once, and to distract him from it, I bit the back of his neck.

Because I found that he liked when I bit there especially.

And the uncontrolled small moan that came out was enough to make me touch his chest, caressing his breast, and clothed nipple.

"Namjoon…don't…"

"I am just…" I stopped to lick the mark I've created on the back of his neck and went on, "touching you a bit. That's it."

"…I know, but…"

I caught his now erect nipple through the soft pajama top and pulled on it. His hand immediately covered mine.

"Namjoon." He scolded me again.

And I slid my hand back around his waist. Tightly hugged him and like always, nuzzled my head in the crook of his neck and closed my eyes.

Hoping I wasn't so hard that he'd notice.

'Not like he'll do anything about it anyway.'

But then he caressed my arm as I was going to sleep and I was thankful for that.

"Bloody hell!" V screamed at the loud alarm.

And since neither I nor Jungkook moved, his pillow hit me in the back of the head before I untangled myself from Jungkook, reached out towards the desk, and sleepily tapped on the desk blindly for the ringing phone.

"Make it stop!" V begged.

I found it and squinted my eyes at it.

Turned the alarm off easily but had a hard time seeing the time for a bit until the letter seven was clear as day.

"Jungkook, wake up." I sleepily, and softly demanded after putting the phone back.

Securing my arms around his waist again and parting his legs with my leg as I kissed the back of his neck.

"Jungkook. Up."

"Mm…" It was a sound that directly translated to: no, in my brain.

He started stretching lazily while still in my arms, trying to ease my willingness to go. Automatically, backing up into me although there was no space between us left. All he's done was to make himself aware of my morning wood. He also took my left hand that was under him, brought it to his face, kissed it, and then placed his head on top of the open palm.

I felt his stomach and then traveled down the side of his thigh, rubbed twice, and then raised my head until I could perfectly see him sleeping on my hand.

"Jungkook. Don't make me tickle you."

He ignored the childish threat and though I knew it'd work; I also knew he'd get cranky for the following hours.

I leaned in and kissed his cheek instead, whispering: "Jungkook."

"Mm?" It was nearly a moan as he nuzzled into my hand further and stretched around my body without mercy. Rubbing himself on me by mistake as I pushed into him in return, on purpose. Taking full advantage of how calm and oblivious he was first thing in the morning.

I kept kissing his cheek as he stretched his legs. Then I put an innocent hand on his neck to turn his face towards me so I could plant a kiss on his lips.

He was yet to open his eyes once, but when my tongue slipped in, I felt a little resistance. It was brief but it was there.

He was now on his back and I had a leg over his legs and the other extended by the edge of the bed.

I kept slipping my tongue in and pulled his out as he moaned softly in my mouth. He even wrapped his arm around my neck.

I almost wondered if he was finally in the mood and that's when I heard V groaning. And I was certain that he wasn't going to go back to sleep and that I'd hear about how he didn't like to see us kiss on the bed later that day. But I pushed that thought away as I let my chest fall on his chest and half of my crotch on his crotch.

Our tongues were getting tangled between saliva and quick breaths. Jungkook's eyes parted when I started rubbing against him with no shame.

He was breathing more and more scattered as he couldn't do anything but move against my tongue and take the friction I was providing.

His body was warm. His breath was warm. The bed was warm too.

His exposed stomach and soft clothes felt so soft and inviting against me.

I wanted more.

So much more and as I could feel what was probably just morning wood, I dared to put mine right next to his and go up and down faster.

'Fuck. I can't stop…'

He breathed harder in the seconds he had in which I pulled my tongue out and then slipped it back to circle his. Forcing it as deep as it could go. To fill his mouth with my tongue. Fill anything as our bodies rubbed against each other.

His innocent smell filled me up. The blood rushed through our veins as my hands groped and caressed. Pretending I didn't mean to touch the tip of his cock through the pants and I was only looking to secure his hip against the bed. Pretending I didn't mean to keep his mouth occupied so he couldn't refuse me. Pretending that I was only waking him up and wasn't so hard that it was hurting.

When the bed started squawking, that's when V threw his second and last pillow at me.

And darkly said:

"I hope you two aren't jerking each other off with me in the room."

This had Jungkook sliding his hands to the front of my chest and pushing me away with two small hands.

But it wasn't very convincing cause although I wasn't anywhere close to finishing, no matter how long it's been since I've orgasmed, Jungkook could sometimes finish in a matter of minutes and I was sure that if I kept going, he would've ejaculated in his pajama pants.

"Namjoon…" He breathed out in a whisper. Not scolding. Simply acknowledging what I'd just done and how he couldn't stop it either. I could see the need in his eyes.

But when he said my name again when I cupped his right ass cheek, I stopped as if he's just slapped me.

"Sorry. I got carried away…" I admitted.

He nodded absently, trying to lift himself. Hence, I had to move aside and let him get up.

"Sorry," I repeated but he didn't say anything. He walked out of the room after making up the worst and best excuse: "I'll go to the bathroom. And let me borrow one of your hoodies for running. I am out of clean clothes"

"Fine."

And he shut the door after himself.

I was left in bed, quite hard, disheartened, and ashamed of myself.

'But he was rubbing himself against me first…even though he was probably only stretching again...'

I got up after I heard V saying: "Horndog."

"Shut up."

Walked up to his tea collection and turned on the water heater.

"Why do you do stuff like that when I've specifically told you that I don't like it?"

"I didn't want to do it." I shrugged as if it was out of my hands.

"It did look like you knew exactly what you were doing."

"Weren't those pills supposed to knock you out or something?" I asked bitterly as I opened the closet and tried to differentiate between their clothes and mine.

"I'll go back to sleep right after you two leave me alone."

I was looking straight at a pair of his boxers and mumbled, hoping he wouldn't hear me almost:

"Why do you think he won't do it?"

"Do what?"

"Let me do him."

I threw one of my hoodies on the bed for Jungkook and then took my white t-shirt off.

"Because you're a beast?"

I shook my head.

"I've been really nice lately,"

"I saw you… trying." And he wasn't glad about having seen that.

"But he still won't let me do him…" I ended that complaint with an exasperated, elongated sound.

"Is that why you keep smashing your face into his all day long?"

"No. I think I'd do that even if we were having sex. I didn't like kissing before but it's grown on me."

"How about you try not doing anything for a while? Maybe that'll make him come to you."

"Are you saying that just so you wouldn't have to watch?"

"Wow, you Are a genius."

V mocked and Jungkook walked in right when I was pulling up a pair of black sweatpants but he didn't look at me. Instead, walked straight to the bed. And covered his blue pajama top with the white hoodie.

"Won't you be hot like that?" I asked him.

"It'll soak any sweat."

'But I don't mind if you sweat in my hoodie.' I thought it but didn't say it.

I left the closet open and went to pour the water into the cup.

He approached it as if he finally could since I was gone and shoved clothes around until he found some black sweat pants.

I was hoping he wouldn't mind me watching him take his pants off but he did send me a glance right before doing so. A glance that effectively had me looking away.

'Think of something else.' I told myself as I placed the electric kettle back into its holder.

"Morning Tae."

"I am going back to sleep." He told Jungkook in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Shouldn't you be exercising more too?" He asked him and I immediately wondered if he was afraid I'd try something while we were jogging.

'Nah. He's just being considerate.' I assured myself.

"Strangely enough, even if the doctor doesn't believe me. If I move too much, I can't fall asleep."

"You must be the most unique medical case in history." I ironically mumbled before sipping on some water.

"Hope it rains." He told me, sounding amused at my frown as he pulled the blanket up to his neck. Rubbing in the fact that he got to stay in a warm bed.

I pulled the hood over my messy hair and then stood still as Jungkook reached towards the teacup and then halted.

"Is it for me?"

"Yeah."

"Thanks."

I watched him take two big sips and only after that did he realize that I was staring at him again.

"Did I upset you?" I asked when our eyes locked.

"No…"

"Sorry."

"Stop saying you're sorry."

"But you don't want to…"

"It's not that I don't want to. It's just that…"

"That?"

He looked behind me. At V.

'But you stop me when he's not in the same room too.' I thought it but didn't say it.

We walked out two minutes later after we both tickled V until he threatened to punch us and sounded like he meant it.

The air was cold in the morning. And the campus was quiet.

We didn't say one word until we were out, on the grey pavement.

'Did you finish yourself off in the bathroom without me? In just two minutes too?' I thought.

"Did you dream anything?" I asked.

"No. You?"

"…a bit."

"About?"

"I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"You won't like it."

'Can I hold your hand?' I wondered.

He frowned.

"How do you know?"

"I know."

"You keep assuming I don't like stuff." He complained.

"If you would like them then you would do them yourself." I bit back.

"That's not t…"

I interrupted with a sharp tone:

"You like jellies. And you don't wait for me to buy them for you."

"Do you have to work today?"

'And you like to change the subject too. No problem.' I thought with bitterness.

"Yeah," I replied.

"When?"

"As always."

We started running as soon as we reached the end of the fence. We weren't fast at all. Although I was able to run faster, I kept the same pace as him.

It was nice to see him moving. Nice to see him breaking a sweat. Nice to see him getting red because of something else besides embarrassment.

"What are you thinking about?"

'Did I just say that out loud?'

"What I will eat when we go back."

I chuckled at his blunt answer.

"What? You eat more than I do." He argued with a small smile.

"But I am not thinking about it while I'm running."

"Too bad for you. It's a great motivator."

Our irregular breathing filled the silence for a while, the silence that he broke with: "What are you thinking about?"

"You."

'I need to think before I speak.' I mentally slapped myself.

"What about me?" He asked with the smile still present. Half of it was obstructed by heavy panting that in my mind, should not occur at the pace we were running.

"How I like it when you run with me even though you hate it."

"I don't hate it…"

"Would you do it without me?"

"Yes."

"Liar."

"I would! But definitely, less often."

"Interesting," I said mostly to myself.

"What's so 'interesting'?" He mocked the word and stuck out his tongue when I didn't answer. And then stopped running altogether.

"Keep going," I told him.

"A minute."

I ran the steps I'd taken ahead of him, grabbed his hand, and pulled him forwards, saying:

"It's already been a minute."

By the time we made it to the supermarket, he seemed done.

And I was energized. Running in place at the crosswalk.

"Keep moving." I requested.

He waved his hands, leaning on the pole, still struggling to catch his breath, saying:

"You keep moving for me."

"I don't mind moving for you at all."

It took him a second to register what I meant by that to which he immediately turned his head to hide his face.

We got inside the supermarket two minutes later with him repeating what started to sound more like a mantra than a wish: "Muffins. I want muffins. Muffins make life better. Muffins are worth the pain."

"Eat something healthy." I cut him off.

"Sure. I'll eat healthy muffins." He chuckled and didn't care for my frown.

"How about some chicken?" I tried.

"You can have chicken. I'll have muffins."

We were walking through the sweets aisle and as he picked up the muffins, he wrapped the other hand around his tummy.

"Are you that hungry?"

"Starving."

He was trembling when we went through the frozen section.

After which I got the premade chicken I wanted but I couldn't convince him to do the same.

Jungkook already had one of the four muffins before we were out of the store.

He had eaten all five of them minutes later and I had left a piece of chicken for him that I proceeded to dangle in front of his face after he threw the plastic container at the nearest trash can.

"I am not a dog." He told me; a bit upset.

"Obviously."

"It doesn't go well with muffins. I already told you. I am not eating it." He grimaced and tried to pass me by.

I put it in my mouth, walked up to him, and wrapped my arms around him.

And a quiet 'no' got out before I connected our lips, parted his with my tongue, and transferred the chicken from my mouth into his. He swallowed it without chewing.

I knew he did it to get rid of me since we were in public.

But I kept tasting the muffins from his mouth with my tongue after.

He tapped my shoulder as I was licking the corners of his mouth.

I pulled back and looked at him with half-lidded eyes.

"I think you got high from the sugar in my mouth." He jokingly said.

But when all I did was breathlessly admit, staring at his lips: "I think so too."

His smile got smaller as he passed me by and started running.

I ran behind him all the way back.

He dragged himself to the showers and I was feeling so pumped up, that I wanted to jog in place.

There were some people in the communal showers, but I didn't find that to be something unusual. However, when all I could think about was slipping into Jungkook's shower I almost literally slapped myself.

'I was doing so well until now…I thought I was almost content with kissing two months ago. Hmm…it must be because we started sleeping in the same bed. I think seeing him in the morning, moaning from anything and stretching is the problem. I should…no. No. I can't stop thinking about it. I want him. What the fuck is so wrong about it? I told him I don't have to cum. So, what the fuck's the problem? He likes to kiss me though. And he gets hard and everything. So why?! Why?! What the hell did I do? Is he really punishing me for something? Was Martin right?'

I was so lost in my head that I didn't think for a second before I shoved the blue curtain to the side and walked into the small passing area between the shows. Showing a random student my naked body but from his face, all he saw were the scars I got from getting beat up, stabbed, or cut. Saw him swallow drily as I walked across the small passage and right on Jungkook, showering.

I turned him around and as he was gasping in surprise, I covered his mouth. And asked softly: "Are you punishing me for something? Is that why you won't let me fuck you?"

He squinted his eyes and as I uncovered his mouth, the first word that came out was: "Get…"

So, I covered It back up.

"I'll leave after you answer me. Now…."

I pushed him forwards and when his back hit the wall, I let my back get wet by the falling water as I tried to figure him out: "Are you upset with me?"

I uncovered his mouth lightly and he got three seconds before I covered it again, in which he said:

"No."

"Do you enjoy being treated…what's a good word…nicely… lately?"

I uncovered his mouth a second after he sighed against it, and in that second he said: "Yes."

"Do you think you could enjoy sex if I didn't manhandle you? Not much…"

Hand off.

"I don't."

Hand on.

"Good to know."

I turned to leave but he grabbed my hand at once.

"Know. I don't know. You don't give me enough time to speak."

"Oh."

I stepped back and covered his mouth again.

He glared at me while I continued to do what I did before.

"Can I…" I started as I looked down at his naked abdomen and genitals, licking my lips.

"No." He said loudly enough for me to hear him even with the palm of my hand on his lips.

I narrowed my eyes.

"Can you tell me when you want to do it?"

Hand off.

"I guess."

Hand on.

"Do you even want to do it?"

Hand off.

"…yes."

Hand on.

"When?"

Hand off.

…

Hand on.

"Do you masturbate by yourself when you do?"

Hand off.

…

Hand on.

"Answer me," I demanded a bit too aggressively.

Hand off.

"Sometimes."

Hand on.

"Do you think about me when you do it or of the person who asked you if you were single?"

He arched an eyebrow at this.

I kept the hand on.

And leaned in. Parting his legs with mine.

Jungkook's eyes widened with panic as he put his hands on my chest, shaking his head.

"Do you think about me when you touch yourself?"

Hand off.

"…"

Hand on.

"I could do it for you. In fact, I'd love to. And I won't do anything very painful. I remember what you said and I can try."

Hand off.

"Nam…"

Hand on.

"Have you been stretching your ass too? Just in case I put it inside you?"

He shut his eyes.

And I stared down at the now half-erect penis, feeling hungry.

'Public place. A public place.'

And I was thankful for the running showers that were masking these questions.

"I'll be nice. I'll be so nice to you if you tell me I can touch you now. I promise, Jungkook."

Hand off.

"…"

Hand on.

"You want me to blow you? I'll blow you if you want."

His eyes opened wide at this.

Hand off.

"…"

Hand on.

"Do you want me to make you feel good? Say something."

Hand off.

Silence.

Hand on.

"You don't have to have to touch me Jungkook. Just cum in my mouth. What do you say?"

Hand off.

"…"

Hand on.

I looked down and sure enough, he was getting hard at the thought. Without me touching him at all.

"Are you too embarrassed to speak?"

Hesitantly, he nodded.

"Then…" I leaned in and whispered in his ear: "Nod once if you want me to suck your cock, Jungkook."

I waited and sure enough, without looking at me. He nodded.

And it took me all I had to uncover his lips, place a small peck on them, and then another down on his pink cock.

I gave it a lick and it twitched at the small contact.

He covered his mouth as I took all of it in one go.

I went back and forth trying to keep my hands away from his body because every time I looked up at the shut eyes and hidden blushing cheeks, I wanted to turn him around and fuck him.

He tasted sweet. And he seemed to like it when I circled my tongue around the cockhead and got the rest of it in until it hit the back of my throat.

'I hate sucking dick, Jungkook.' I thought to myself but then looked up at the teary eyes, wet hair, and shaking hand.

'But if it's yours, I guess…I'll take it…'

He was slowly sliding off the wall towards the ground and when his butt had finally hit the floor, I was still between his legs, with his erection on my tongue.

I didn't feel like I wasn't in control when I was looking at him, squirming and trembling like a girl. It was almost like I was raping him even now with my mouth.

Yet, I still couldn't help but wish I could turn him around. Wish I could pull on his balls or slap his ass cheeks.

But as he started shaking harder and tangled his fingers into my hair, I felt his semen shoot down my throat. I didn't taste a thing. I was eating him with my eyes as he breathed very loudly against the palm of his hand and squeezed his eyes shut as if they were stinging.

I let his cock slip out of my mouth and then without being able to control myself, I reached forwards and caressed his asshole with the tip of a finger. His eyes opened the second my finger went in and probed. Got in another and it still wasn't too tight.

I grinned as he reached for my hand to stop me but it was too late.

I wanted to slap him across those beautiful cheeks, push him on the wet tiles and fuck him so hard that all the guys from inside this bathroom will hear him crying out like a girl. Begging for me to stop ramming my dick into him.

'You've used your fingers to masturbate too. I can tell Jungkook. You fucking fucked yourself with your fingers. But you still didn't fuck me. And I am supposed to be nice now? Right. Right…'

I kept my hand still at the thought although my two fingers remained in his ass. And looked at him as he seemed at a loss at what to do. I felt a bit of anger. A bit of jealousy at his fingers. It was irrational. I was aware. But the feeling was there.

He kept that hand on mine but when he didn't even dare to look at me but simply rubbed his knees together, I start shoving my fingers in and out while he kept holding onto my hand like he could stop it from moving.

"You like it?" I asked, placing the other hand on his knee. And parted his legs with force.

I kissed the inside of his thighs although he kept shaking his head, trying to close his legs.

He didn't respond. He just kept his eyes closed and lips parted when I lightly bit the skin that was right by his crotch.

I wanted to put in another finger but didn't. I searched for his prostate instead and when I hit it, Jungkook let out a moan without meaning to.

No one from the bathroom reacted to it. But in his panic, he didn't seem to get mad when he saw me smiling.

He started slapping on the inside of my arm but I kept hitting the sweet spot and at some point, he stopped hitting at all and tightened the grip on his mouth instead.

When I noticed that his cock was getting harder in front of my face. I couldn't stop smiling, feeling outright mad.

'You're so easy to turn on. How did I not realize this before?'

I went down on him again and licked the underside of it while it was still in my mouth.

That made him shake from every nook and cranny.

'Maybe it's because you're sober. Or because I never had the self-control to do it this way…' I assumed.

Saliva was dripping down his cock as the shower was hitting my back.

'Or maybe…It's because you like me sucking you off so much. Do you like being the one in control, Jungkook?'

When I kept beating my tongue onto the underside of his penis while hitting his prostate without mercy, he grabbed my hair and tried to make my head to go up and down.

'Yeah. That's it…Force me…and then I'll…I'll…a…fuck…I think I will rape you if you keep pushing my head down Jungkook.'

I almost bit him when he thrust into my mouth.

'I should close my eyes. Yeah. Stop looking at him. Stop paying attention to what I am doing. Or else, I will attack him. Hell. My dick hurts so much…Just finish already. Finish or else I swear I won't be able to hold back…Cum for me Jungkook…faster… Or I will make you scream, I swear. Just fucking cum!'

I was screaming in my head.

"Nam…Joon…"

When he moaned out and ejaculated down my neck. Lifting himself, up and down on my fingers by himself.

My eyes widened. Unblinking. Not wanting to miss a thing.

My mouth went slack, seeing him staring up at the ceiling, breathing heavily as I swallowed some of his cum.

'Fuck. '

I let his cum drip out my lips as I kept staring at him, feeling the muscles of his asshole pulsating against my two fingers.

His chest was going up and down. His neck seemed larger as he kept breathing sporadically. Mouth agape and salivating. Both hands limp on the sides of his body. Eyes fixated on the ceiling, with irises that were probably not registering what they were seeing. Abdomen looking fuller, rounder, softer.

I wanted to shove all of my fingers in him. I wanted to make him look more helpless.

But I kept still and watched as he looked down and at me.

And one of the corners of his lips went up for a moment.

'How do I make you like being fucked by my dick and not my fingers, Jungkook. Tell me.'

"Enjoyed it?" I asked.

He nodded.

I feigned a smile. Retreating all of my fingers out of him with the last bit of self-control I had.

But after I sat down, hands on the wet floor, looking at the wall, Jungkook got on his knees and reached out towards my erect dick.

Moved his hand up and down it, coming closer. Letting his back get hit by the running water as he leaned forwards and put his tongue on the head of my dick.

I tried to detach myself from the situation right when the tip of his tongue got into the hole of the head.

Cause there was no way I could hold back if he kept going.

There was no way I could let him nicely lick my dick up and down and struggle to get it in his tiny mouth without pushing his head down until the corners of his mouth split.

"Stop," I demanded with a voice that I barely recognized.

Two wide eyes looked up at me with confusion written all over them. And because he's stopped, I was able to caress his cheek before I forced his head up and away from between my legs.

His hand left my dick in the process as I got on my knees too and then lowered myself above his body. He was forced to lie on his back while the shower hit my back again as I bit his lower lip.

I put one finger in his mouth after.

"Tell me something." I heard myself say.

He started sucking on it.

"Don't do that."

Once again, his eyes snapped open as he stood still. And allowed my finger to hang in his mouth without him doing anything to it.

'You obey so well now. Fuck. Why is this turning me on more than you doing something?!'

"Do you…" I cleared my throat, "not enjoy it when I make you choke when you blow me?''

And he flushed red in a matter of seconds.

'ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!' I yelled in my head but only cleared my throat in reality.

"Look. I am a …" I started when I was certain he wasn't going to speak.

The last shower besides ours had stopped running.

The bathroom got too quiet.

And it was bad because that meant we were all alone.

"I am a pig."

That statement did not seem to make sense to him. So, I went on:

"The things you like are really…cute. And I'm starting to like some too. But do you like anything that's…" I caught his tongue between my fingers and pulled it out, "If I open you up nicely and if I…" I swallowed drily, "If I prepare you, lube you up, kiss you and stuff…can I fuck you how I want to, or do you want me to go slow and …nice?"

His face did not reveal a single thing.

My head was buzzing. The silence made me hear myself too. Made me second guess myself.

'I love him so much and yet why…why do I want to abuse his body? What is wrong with me? Why do I want to tear him in half and make him choke and…is it bad? Or is just that we don't like the same things? I don't…understand…stop looking at me like that. With those big eyes. Fuck. Just talk, god damn it!'

"Jungkook. I'll do it how you want me to. Alright? Just tell me. Or you… don't… know?"

I let his tongue go when he tried to speak and admit:

"I don't know…"

I kept staring at his mouth, shoving one finger in, trying to see how far down his throat I can push it until he'd say something, touch his teeth with it, and force his jaw to hang open with it so he'd answer my question:

"Do you want to try and see if you do?" I swallowed again, feeling as if my lower half was burning.

"Not now…" He said and I immediately caught his tongue between my fingers.

'Why not?' I thought so loudly in my mind that I was afraid I might've asked him that.

"Of course, not now." I chuckled lightly, "We're in the bathroom and the water and all. But…" I swallowed all the saliva I had, inched closer, breathing on his lips, and needly pushed for a definite promise, "But…but when?"

"I don't…" I pulled his tongue out to stop the rest of the sentence.

"Do you want to plan it or do you want it to be random?"

I let go of his tongue.

"I want… to get out of here Namjoon…"

"You don't know what you want when it comes to sex, do you?"

His eyes widened in surprise and all I could think was: 'Bingo.'

"Then, if I do something you don't like, you'll just have to tell me. Don't run off or anything. I will try to listen but don't react as if I should've known what you like because I didn't know. And you don't know yet either."

"I won't run…"

"And you are not allowed to masturbate without me."

"Namjoon…"

"Does the person who asked you if you were single know how you like it?"

"Namjoon!"

"I am just asking."

"I will tell you if I don't like it. Alright?"

"But sometimes you don't like things at first but when I keep doing them…"

"…can we leave?"

"Sure."

I said that but didn't get off him.

"Do you want me to help you… relax…somehow?" He asked in a voice so constricted that my stomach twisted.

'Why are you this innocent and…like…do you know how lewd you look when you ask these things shily? Like do you understand that the more you act like this, the more I want to fuck you until you beg? Are you fucking self-aware?'

"No," I said after too many seconds passed.

"Are you…sure?"

I nodded exactly once.

"If I can't do you then it's better if you don't…touch me."

"…why not?"

"Just…don't."

He nodded too.

I kissed his lips.

When I managed to tear myself away from his naked body, I was proud of myself.

Regardless of how awkward it was walking out with a boner that the long hoodie couldn't mask entirely.

But it was all the more worth it because Jungkook held my hand all the way back.

And I wanted to kiss him all the way back to the dorm room.

But he let go of my hand as soon as we got in.

We watched a movie and then I left for my part-time job. I snapped at a colleague and dropped a box that had the word fragile on it.

The day ended with me getting scolded by my superior.

But I didn't care enough to get angry.

Didn't care when the wind was blowing too harshly on my way back to the dorm because I was going back to Jungkook.

Didn't care that we have spent the rest of the night with the gang.

Didn't care that he chose to watch an anime with V instead of studying with me because I got to be in the same room.

And he slipped into bed next to me and hugged me, and I cared too much.

I wanted to cry but I kept my eyes closed and pretended to sleep when he placed his head on my chest and fell asleep.

I thought of what Fred might be doing now and thought of calling him to let him know that Jungkook was showing me actual signs of affection.

Only to remind myself that I've killed him.

Cried on mute for way too long while Jungkook peacefully slept on me.

I fell asleep from pure exhaustion and when I woke up, my chest was still aching.

"Where's Jungkook?" Was the first thing I asked a cereal eating V after I opened my eyes.

He pursed his lips. Paused the game. And put the spoon down.

And asked: "Do you ever think about anything else? Anyone ever? Ever?"

"Yes."

"What?"

"You. The gang. Michael's kid. Other people. The people I've killed. What to do to make sure I deserve to stay alive. What do in the future? What job should I get? Money. What house? What is truly important? How to get better at what I consider worth getting better at? How could I contribute to the world or is that just an illusion? And how I'll have to change everything I decided to make sure I can still be next to Jungkook at the end of the day. Because as long as Jungkook is happy, then the rest will just fall into place sooner or later. That's when I stop thinking about everything because I start spiraling into what if I screw it up, and that's when I ask myself or others: Where is Jungkook?"

He blinked a few times before he simply said:

"Bathroom."

I let my head hit the pillow and V pressed play on the anime.

And then it hit me. So, I sprang up, ran out of the room, and when I made it in front of the bathroom, I halted.

'But maybe he's just pissing. Maybe he's not…no…he's not. Is he?'

"Excuse me? Are you going in?"

A guy asked me.

I shook my head and walked back to the room, and plummeted back into bed.

"Why did you run out and then came back?" V didn't sound too interested but still couldn't miss the chance to find out.

"What day it is?"

"Saturday."

"Good. Can you make yourself scarce tonight?"

He pressed pause again.

"Why?"

"…"

"Be secretive then. See how that turns out for you."

And with those sharp words, he pressed play again. And I changed the subject.

"Do you know if anyone likes Jungkook, like in a romantic way?"

"Umm...no. Why?"

"Thanks for nothing."

"You're welcome…you, obsessive freak."

Eight hours later, everything was going according to the plan I concocted while Jungkook was in the bathroom.

We were heading to a restaurant as the sun was going down and Jungkook didn't seem to be having a bad day even though the taxi driver almost hit another car on the way.

"Are you sure I am not underdressed?" He asked.

"I said it's fancy food. Not a fancy restaurant."

"No. You only said the word fancy."

"There's a difference between the food being fancy and people dressed in suits serving us."

"Then why am I wearing a white shirt and black pants, Namjoon?!"

"Because it's a date and I like it."

He averted my gaze and didn't let go of my hand until we made it in.

I confirmed the reservation and we sat down relatively far from anyone's earshot.

And I was pleased. Too pleased. Too comfortable.

It made me freak out.

"It looks pretty fancy to me…" He mumbled bitterly as the waiter approached our tables and handed us the menus after filling our glasses with water and introducing himself.

"So, what do you want? And they have muffins and lava cake. I checked."

"You're spoiling me." He observed, squinting his eyes.

"Shouldn't you be happy?"

"I am but won't this put a hole in your wallet?"

"Why?"

"I am not going to go easy on you."

"Then don't."

The waiter returned a bit too soon, to ask: "Did you two decide on the drinks?"

"We'll have a bottle of red wine," I said pointing at one from the menu.

"A very good choice, sir."

And he was gone just like that.

"We're drinking?"

"I am drinking. But if you want to drink then I won't stop you."

"Aha…" He hid his face with the menu and then only popped his eyes up as if he's caught onto something.

"What is it now?" I asked with a sigh, leaning back.

"You're trying to get me drunk."

"Not necessarily," I admitted to him and myself, crossing my arms.

He hid his eyes with the wide black menu and I extended my leg to his side to touch his foot with mine. Thankful that the white tablecloth was so long.

I tapped his foot and he tapped back.

The waiter returned with the wine that he submerged into an ice bucket after he poured some into tall glasses.

I wanted to tell him that Jungkook won't be drinking wine but when Jungkook thanked him after starting to pour in his glass, I stopped myself.

We ordered steak and legumes that looked like they were from another world. And the purple souce was a perfect mix between acidic and sweet.

We clicked our glasses but the second Jungkook's lips made contact with the wine glass. I panicked.

'This was a bad idea.'

"It's so sweet." He noted. Surprised.

"You like it?"

"Yeah. What's it called?"

"I don't remember." I lied.

He savored every morsel of food and although his gratefulness was cute, I drank more than I ate. Making sure he wouldn't be able to have more than two glasses.

Despite that, when we've reached the desert. He asked if we could have more wine. Or something cheaper as long as it was alcohol.

"Why?" I asked, trying to sound casual.

"I got a nice buzz going and I don't want it to die."

"From two glasses?"

He shrugged.

"What can I say? I am a lightweight now."

"Are you…sure though?"

"It tasted good. Hey…why are you looking at me like that?"

I tried to force a smile but he didn't seem fooled when he continued with:

"I am not going to drink for the rest of my life after this Namjoon."

"I know."

"I take it back. Let's just eat dessert and go back."

"No." I sighed. "It's fine. I am sorry, I am a bit paranoid since I like you…sober."

"You do?"

He looked so astonished that I wanted to laugh.

"Yeah," I told him and reached out towards the hand that had the fork and a lava cake piece still in it and caressed it. "I do. A lot."

"But why?"

"Well, when there are a lot of people that might talk to you, then you get all anxious and stuff. And it's ..sad for me to see. But when it's the two of us, you've been talking freely. Stating your wants and needs. Letting me into your mind. You have hobbies now; you study constantly or you…try your best. And when it's just V and the guys, you seem to be enjoying yourself. I don't know…everything is…better. More real? Don't you think?"

"I guess…a lot changed. At least you like it."

"Of course. I like it when you get worried about silly stuff. When you get upset when you can't find a secret in a game and you got opinions on stuff now…"

He frowned.

"I had opinions before too. You know?"

"You didn't care to voice them."

"That's because I could barely…" He shut his eyes and looked down.

"I am sorry I brought it up." I quickly said, clasping his hand tighter after he's let go of the fork.

"You didn't. I did. Look. I feel better…and because of you, it's been easier to get out of…bed. And I thought I'd never be able to, but…"

"And I am so glad you do get out of bed. I hope you know that." I said, smiling.

"Stop it…I…I'm still scared to go anywhere alone."

It was my turn to be surprised.

I almost retreated my hand because I had to lean back into the chair from the shock but he's caught it with a smile.

"Screw you. I am being honest." He grinned with mischievous but his eyes remained scared.

"Oh, Jungkook. You gave me so much shit for following you around and not leaving you alone three months ago."

I covered my mouth with the other hand as I chuckled mischievously to myself.

He frowned and raised his hand. Saying: "Waiter…Yeah. Hi, Emanuel? Was it? Yes. We'll have another bottle of your most expensive wine. Thanks."

"Oh, Jungkook. How things have changed in such a short amunt of time." I kept chuckling with an evil stare.

"I take it back. I take everything back." He mumbled through a clenched jaw. Squinting his eyes.

"Remember how you told me we will break up again if I don't give you some space? And now, you're telling me you get nervous when I leave you alone? This is so funny to me. Truly. I can't believe this is real. I might be dreaming…"

He crossed his arms. Frowning.

I went on: "I knew this day would come but so soon, so soon."

"Are you done?"

"When I go to work then, is that why you don't leave the room sometimes?"

"Are you done?"

"You've been going to the bathroom alone though, are you sure you don't want me to come with you in there too? I don't mind helping you with…"

"Namjoon!"

When the waiter came to pour wine, Jungkook told him to leave the bottle on the table and not in the ice bucket and the waiter was taken aback by his brass request. And I burst out laughing.

Jungkook drank just to spite me.

And I drank out of pure, unabashed joy.

It was only in the cab when he was slurring his words and hanging onto me, smelling like the wine that he's drunk that I started freaking out again.

'Bad idea.'

When we made it up to my room, he didn't care that V wasn't there and I was glad he didn't ask why.

But instead, he went straight to the bed. Without caring about the fact that I was right by it, looking down at him while he was struggling to unbutton his shirt.

"It's too tight…" He whinned, sounding probably as drunk as he was feeling.

I stood still and watched as he fought with the buttons for a while only for him to look up to ask with an almost childlike voice: "Help me."

I bent down, lightly slapped his hands aside, and unbuttoned every button until the material revealed his bare chest and abdomen.

He reached out towards my neck, saying: "Thank you."

I let him pull me towards him and when my lips made it to his shoulder, I breathed in.

He held me there.

But I was yet to climb into bed.

In fact, I had one leg still on the floor, and just one on the bed.

And then he had to say: "Kiss me."

I shut my eyes cause the words I wanted to hear from him for weeks, months or ...probably years were now causing me pain.

'It's just because he's drunk. He kissed V when he was drunk too.'

I reminded myself as I kissed his neck, up his cheek, and then his lips. Lightly.

When I didn't continue, he complained using the sound Jimin made when things didn't go his way.

"You want more?" I asked and felt myself growing in the increasingly tight pants when he answered: "Yes." With flushed cheeks and wet lips.

I dived right into his mouth, tongue first, and yet didn't get in the bed all the way still.

He licked back viciously. Clumsily. Drunkenly.

Because of the alcohol, our mouths were full of saliva so our tongues kept sliding against each other deliciously.

I don't know how long we kept licking and sucking each other's tongue and lips, but when I found myself biting on his lower lip I realized that I'd forgotten where we were or that we weren't the only ones on earth.

"Jungkook." I breathed out.

"Yeah?"

"Go to sleep," I demanded, lacking any bite to my request.

"After you kiss me more."

He purred this and connected our lips without me moving. He pulled me close by the neck while I kept one hand on each side of his body.

I was trying to keep cool at first but the more he sucked on my tongue and moaned softly, the more I wanted to bite his exposed nipples.

"Jungkook," I complained in his mouth.

He didn't answer and instead pulled on the back of my shirt, trying to get it off.

'The fuck...' I thought.

I grabbed his hands immediately and pinned them to the side of his face as I pulled away. A string of saliva was left hanging between our mouths as I did so. It disconnected and fell straight to the edge of his swollen lips and then down his cheek.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked him, feeling the vein from my temples pulsating from the wine.

And his wide, glossy eyes looked a bit too blurry now. I felt drunker now that he's made me hold my breath as we were kissing than I was on the way to the dorm.

"Kissing you…" He innocently answered.

"Why are you trying to undress me?"

"To help you…prepare for…bed."

He bit the lower lip on his own and looked away.

I called myself stupid in my own mind.

"Then help me."

I continued to swear at myself as I let go of his hands and let him pull my shirt up after he planted kisses on my neck.

Had to bring up the other leg and as I was on my knees, torso straight up, and calves on the bed, he went down my naked abdomen with his moist lips and then licked the skin under my belly bottom as he held himself up by wrapping his hands around my hips.

I buried my right hand in his hair and motioned his head right and left as he kept licking and kissing.

It was as if he was sucking me without sucking me off.

"Jungkook. You're drunk." I reminded him and myself.

He stopped and looked up. Chin touching the zipper of my pants and breath hitting right into the exposed sensitive skin.

"And?"

"And I am not fucking you if you're drunk. Not until we do it sober, at least once."

I heard myself saying that and I immediately questioned my drunk logic.

But sober me had already made that decision after seeing him laugh and talk during our meal.

Since it only made me more aware of how terrified I was of losing him again.

So afraid, that when he ordered the third bottle, I promised myself that I'd put him to bed as soon as we got back.

And now I was certain that sober Jungkook wouldn't be acting like this. And sober Jungkook would regret this in the morning.

This is why I grabbed the hair of drunk Jungkook and tried to pry him away but to my surprise, he started licking the same spot, using his chin to get his tongue into the pubes area.

"Jungkook, stop…it…"

He didn't seem to hear me as he moved his lips across my clothed erection.

I couldn't find the strength to pull on his hair as I felt dizzier and dizzier.

When he brought one hand from the back of my thighs and unzipped the zipper, I pushed him down on the bed and he seemed taken aback by how sudden that was because he made a small sound as he was falling backward.

I kept a hand on his chest as I repeated: "I said, no."

"Why not?"

"If you're not doing it while you're sober. We're not doing it when you're drunk."

He frowned.

"I don't understand. Isn't this what you wanted?"

"Not like this."

"Like this, how?!"

"You're not being yourself!" I explained.

"That's right. I am in the mood. Sue me."

"That's not what I meant and you know it."

"But it is. I am in the mood when I am not sober. Is that so bad?"

"Yes!"

I shouted a bit too loudly. A bit too accusatory.

His eyes widened, and as he turned his back on me, hugging the pillow to his chest, I almost couldn't believe what I'd just done either.

"Look…Jungkook. I want you, so much. More than you do but I don't want you to hate me tomorrow."

"Oh, really? Cause it seems like you're aiming for exactly that right now." He snapped back.

"If you're…in the mood then let me help you."

He turned with his head only as I glued my front to his back and placed a hand on his abdomen and the other on his nipple.

He didn't get to say whatever he got to say and simply kissed me back when I started kissing him.

It was going well.

I was not letting him touch me whatsoever after I unzipped his pants and pulled them down to his thighs.

Even though I was rubbing myself against his naked behind.

And screwing his mouth with my tongue.

I kept telling myself I was doing a good job since I was simply giving him a hand job and nothing more.

But when he reached behind him and rubbed the bulge of my pants and wrapped his fingers around the tip that surpassed the hem of the pants at this point, I caught his hand and pinned it against his lower back furiously. As I bit his bottom lip. He moaned.

And for some reason, I could barely see a thing when I've opened my eyes.

'How much did I drink again and why was I not fucking him again?'

"Namjoon…" He breathed out against my lips. "I promise I won't be upset tomorrow."

He tried to free his hand away but I didn't let him as I cupped his balls, squeezed, and twisted his genitals as punishment without thinking about it.

"Ahh…"

I took my hand off them immediately after I realized what I'd done.

"Just cum already and shut up."

I snapped at him as I started pumping his erect cock again.

"But I want to do more…"

"No, you don't."

"I want you to put it in me."

"Tomorrow then."

"No. Now."

He backed his ass up into my crotch and I stopped breathing as he went up and down in tandem with my strokes.

I shut my eyes, getting lost in the small pleasure. Feeling the need to enter him as much as I needed to breathe more deeply.

"Jungkook. I'll…"

I exhaled heavily and without me realizing it, he turned, facing me. Slipping his other hand inside my boxers as he started kissing my neck.

"You'll what?" He breathed out and I felt my temples pulsating and the room spinning.

'I shouldn't have had beer too.' I thought.

"Punish you," I said from inside a dream.

"How?" He asked as he managed to free his other hand and used it to lower my pants and get my whole dick out.

"Jungkook…" I pleaded as he licked the edges of my lips.

"Yeah?"

"It'll hurt," I whispered; voice slightly cracking. Feeling at the end of my rope.

While both his hands were moving up and down my dick. He informed me casually:

"I got lube."

"That won't make it painless…"

"It's fine even if it's not."

"No. It's not."

I put a hand on his wrist but couldn't find it in me to stop him.

Instead, I reached out and touched his cock.

He moaned on my lips when I started stroking him again.

"Please cum and go to bed." I pleaded. Feeling nothing, but his hand as my eyes couldn't focus in one place and the world around us was nothing but a blur.

"But I want you to…"

"No. Tomorrow you'll hate me and I don't want you to hate me…"

My voice finally cracked as I felt my eyes getting wet behind the closed eyelids.

He kissed my lips when my hand abandoned his genitals so I could cover the upper part of my face so he couldn't see me half crying, half resisting the urge to cry.

He kept planting kisses on my lips and chin. Saying:

"I promise I won't."

"I don't believe you when you're drunk…" I said softly, through a constricted throat.

"Namjoon. I don't expect it not to hurt a bit. But if you'll do it slowly…"

"I can't do it slowly! Are you insane? Do you know how long it's been?!" I cried out.

"Yes. Yes, you can."

He kept planting small little kisses on every inch of skin he could while his hands kept moving.

"How about we try and if it hurts too much, we stop?"

I almost wanted to laugh at this suggestion.

"You know I won't be able to stop…"

"You will. I trust you."

"Why?"

"Because you've been so…good lately."

"That was all bullshit," I confessed without thinking. "You don't know what I wanted to do to you every day and trust me, you don't want to ever find out."

"But you didn't do it."

I bit the inside of my cheek before he pushed his tongue in and made me lay on my back by pushing on the left side of my chest.

I opened my eyes at last and watched him climb across for me to get something from one of the drawers of the desk.

"What are you doing?"

He straightened himself in a few seconds and showed me a bottle of lube.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I rephrased the question.

"You really don't want to do it?" He asked, looking a bit offended.

I took a hold of his ass and guided him on top of me.

And caressed his head when he pretty much drunkenly fell on my chest and his face ended on the crook of my neck.

"You have no idea..."

"Then let's try."

"Why can't we try when we're sober?"

"Because I am too…overwhelmed with everything. Ok? I can't…let myself go and like this, I have a shot at it. So, stop looking like you're about to kill me and use this freaking lube."

He slapped it on my chest and then left the bed.

"Use the lube on your ghost? Where are you going?"

"To steal V's beer."

"Jungkook, I am fucking hammered already. I drank way more than you."

"I bet you are. But I am not hammered enough."

I was massaging my eyes when I heard him opening a can and gulping it up.

"Can't we just go to bed already? I can't…"

And the can was right at my lips at the end of that word.

"Drink." He demanded.

"But…"

"Drink."

I did it.

And all I could do after that was to let myself fall back on the bed and watch him take off his clothes as he continued to sip on the beer.

I wanted to reach out but my body was too heavy to do so.

When he climbed on top of me and slathered my fingers with lube, I almost thought I might be dreaming.

"Come on." He told me and I laughed.

"What's so funny?"

"You."

"Why?"

I used my clean hand to push him off me and onto the mattress so I could get on top of him.

"Do you know how different you are from the usual you are being right now? Do you comprehend that you're like two different people?"

"Do you comprehend how anxiety works? I am simply, more relaxed now."

"Aha. Then you're going to write a note for anxious you."

It was my turn to get off the bed. Then I rethought it and said it as I did:

"Actually, no. I'll record you so you can't say I wrote it."

"I am not going to forget everything, Namjoon." He said in a matter-off-fact-tone.

"No, but you'll feel different about it tomorrow."

He reached out towards the beer and I shoved the phone that was already recording in his face.

"Now tell anxious you, that he's not allowed to hate my guts tomorrow. No matter what hurts or bleeds."

He glared. I grabbed a hold of his hair.

And he quickly said:

"You're not allowed to be mad at the prick tomorrow."

"Louder."

"Don't get mad at him. It's all your fault. Happy?"

"Very."

I saved it under: For the real Jungkook.

And drank the rest of the beer so he couldn't have it.

"Hey!"

I pushed him onto the mattress, only to turn him around and squeeze lube straight into his asshole.

"Did you just use the whole bottle?"

"Not yet."

He started complaining about something but as soon as two fingers went inside him, he went quiet.

I didn't go straight in but tried to soak his walls in lube.

Third finger, lube.

The fourth finger, more lube.

Fifth finger, lube.

And when I tried to make a fist, his hand covered mine.

"That's…what are you doing?"

"Opening you up."

'Now we're both slurring our words.' I acknowledged.

"Won't that hurt?"

"Does it hurt now?"

"Not really.."

"I'll go in slow."

"But your fist is too big."

"Then you do it."

I titled as I was covering his fist in lube and guiding it down. Watched it go in as he made various sounds that did not indicate pleasure but more of a surprise at what he was doing.

"Deeper."

I kept telling him as I was watching from centimeters away, licking my lips as his fingers were disappearing more and more into his ass. Kissing his ass and hips. Biting, itching with the desire to get this part over with.

The room was spinning again, the dizziness and the burning of my skin were distracting me as he struggled to get his whole fist in.

"Ahh…"

"Keep going."

But he pulled it out so I put some lube on it again and forced it back down and as I was helping him fist himself, we finally opened him enough that the only thing sticking out was his wrist.

"Does it hurt?"

"Not really…it's so weird though…"

"Then go deeper."

"No way."

"My dick is longer than that…"

"Good for you!"

He pulled out and wiped his fist on the white sheets while I stared at his ass closing up and contracting as it did so.

I felt compelled to put my tongue in but then reminded myself that lube did not taste that great. Therefore, I tore my face away from the gaping hole and almost fell backward when I straightened myself.

He laughed at me.

And kept laughing as I was slapping his ass for laughing.

Then I started massaging it instead and his laughter died.

He hugged the pillow as I spread his cheeks and then went lower, and caressed his thighs.

Slipped my hands under him and pulled his cock from under him.

He moaned as I was jerking him off in that unnatural position.

But didn't realize that I was pouring lube on myself until the bottle made a weird sound from an air bubble.

"Namjoon…don't do it too fast at the beginning, please. At least…not at first."

"Aye."

"You sound… drunk." He noticed all of a sudden.

"You too, my dear. You too."

I traveled up his cock, pinched his balls, groped his ass, and then positioned myself at his hole.

He tensed up immediately.

"Relax..." I demanded a bit too roughly. Taking a hold of his hair and pulling him back roughly to distract him.

"Is this supposed to help?" He complained.

"Your butt is clenched."

"I can't help it."

"You're fucking hammered and you still can't relax."

He chuckled which made him relax, which had me shoving the tip in.

He didn't react until I surpassed the point where his fist didn't reach.

"Wait. Pull out from there and then push it back in."

I did as I was told.

"Do it slower...slower..."

I supported myself against his upper back soon since I almost fell over from the pleasure.

I was only halfway in and I could vividly remember why I wasn't able to stop many months before.

"You feel so good…"

I told him as I started kissing his neck.

Shoving it deeper, and spanking it in.

"Nam…ah…"

"Is the lube helping? Cause I don't think I can be nice for much longer."

He moaned and moaned as I was pulling it out and slammed it back in but I was yet to bury it in his ass fully.

But with the last ounce of self-control and sobriety that I was capable of, I squeezed some more lube onto myself and his hole before attempting to fill him.

After I made sure every part of us was slippery, although the edges of everything were blurry and smokey. The whole world seemed to be disappearing and I was either moving too fast or too slow as I let my chest hit his back. I reached under him to play with his nipples and kissed his cheek.

Raised my body up and then positioned myself right above his hole and right before I thrust it all in, I heard him mumble a worried: "Namjoon…"

And then he moaned loudly as I slammed it into him until there was no more to go in. Muscles parted and then gripped around the intrusion. It was so tight and warm.

He clutched at the white sheets as his open mouth salivated on them.

The sound of his moans filled my ears as his hole kept tightening with every thrust.

"Fuck…I don't care what you say tomorrow…but we're going to start doing it often…"

I said, hiccupping as I glued my chest to his back again and by doing so, buried it completely inside him.

He screamed.

And I hugged him and kissed the back of his neck.

"Hurt?"

He didn't answer but kept breathing rapidly even though I wasn't moving.

"Jungkook?"

"Stop talking and just fuck me."

"Does it feel good?"

"Namjoon, just…ah…fuck…me."

He begged as he bit the white sheets and as if he'd just told me to bite him, I bit his nape.

Pulled my dick out of his ass and slammed it back in.

While I was mainly blind and my mind was floating somewhere, I was sure he ejaculated just by being fucked like I was trying to poke it out of his belly.

All I could hear were his moans and the sound of my dick slamming into his ass. It filled the room and it stayed constant for a long time.

I kept kissing and biting his neck while he kept his eyes closed and gripped at the sheets.

Certain that he was feeling pleasure because of the way he was moaning.

Which got me fucking him harder and faster. Until he started shaking, covered in sweat, letting me know that he's orgasmed again with a girly moan as he reached between his legs and seemed to be trying to stop his cock from moving in tandem with my slamming.

I wondered if this was his second or third orgasm.

I kept playing and pulling on his nipples. Digging my nails in the slit stubbornly, almost forgetting I was still thrusting into him as the dizziness was getting the best of me. But after a while, I slid my hand down his abdomen and got his wet dick in my hand.

He tried to stop me when I started jerking him off against the mattress and ramming it into him at the same time, but all he managed to do was to keep his mouth wide open without any sound coming out.

I drunkenly tried to reach his lips and got to lick the edges of them as I covered his piss hole with my thumb while cum was still coming out of it.

He reached out to my hair and pulled on it as I kept fucking him while his orgasm was still going on.

Too much. I knew I was making him feel too much. I could see it. Feel it in every spasm of his body. But I wanted to make him scream more. Take more.

When the orgasm was out of his system and he stopped moving at all, I started pulling on the limp cock and collected some cum. Then brought it up to his lips.

He didn't seem to care that I was putting his own cum on the tongue that hanged from his lips when I started choking him.

Too drunk to do anything but receive my dick in his ass.

Too drunk to do anything but ejaculate again and again as his cock got squeezed between his abdomen and the mattress.

I was aware of how drunk I was only when I was pulling his tongue out with my fingers and letting my spit drip on it. While I was pulling my cock out and shoving it in upwards on purpose because it made him tremble and cry out.

He sucked on my fingers and even when I pushed them down his throat. He didn't say a thing.

But when I realized that the lube was pretty much gone, I pulled out and sat back on my calves.

Looked at his contracting red hole and then up at his messy hair, shallow breathing, and occasional coughing.

I turned him on his back.

There was cum all over his abdomen.

I looked at it and smiled.

"You dirty, dirty boy."

I joked but he was too out of it to realize what I was talking about it.

"Hey, Jungkook." I parted his legs and lightly slapped him across the cock.

"Open your eyes," I demanded.

He complied.

"All fine?"

"Yeah."

"Do you like it?"

"Yeah."

"Really?"

"A bit tired…"

"But I am only getting started."

He smiled as if to tell me that he knew that but couldn't find it in him to move a muscle.

I kneeled between his legs and shoved it in and his lips simply parted in a mute scream right before I let myself fall on his chest.

Jungkook lazily kissed back as I went in and out of him quite slowly now. Feeling a bit too dizzy from having been vertical for a bit.

And as I was sucking on his lips, I asked: "Can I…" Slammed it in as deep as I could and went on, "Bite your nipples real hard?" Pulled it out to the tip and then slammed it back in as his legs trembled on each side of my body.

"Yea. ahh.."

"Hard?"

"Yeaa."

"Can I make your cock hurt?"

"Ahaa.a..h…"

"Suck on my tongue."

He obliged but as I reached down and squeezed his cock, he stopped.

"Ahhaa…"

Pulled on his foreskin and balls. Slapped it as I kept fucking him harder and harder.

He started moaning loudly again after I made a trail of hickeys from his neck, all the way to his nipple I pulled and pulled on the sensitive drop of skin until his hand was in my hair trying to push my head away frm his body.

"Just suck on it...please…"

He begged, so I did it.

After one too many of his raspy moans, I looked at it and realized that it was bleeding.

So, I started jerking him off fast as an apology. He came only one minute later.

I looked at his orgasming face, crying eyes, and shaking body, and kept jamming my dick into his ass until his back arched.

He reached out to me.

I sucked on his fingers and kept fucking him.

"Kiss…"

He mumbled, so I traveled up and with his hand scratching my back I entangled our tongues. Our eyes closed as we felt each other's bodies, without being able to feel anything else.

We were so intoxicated.

We were downright dirty.

Swollen, blody and sticky.

But I couldn't stop.

Though I knew there was a reason why I should stop, I couldn't remember it.

And as I kept kissing it, I felt more turned on.

As he kept moaning softly and receiving my tongue and my dick, I felt even more turned on.

I traveled to his ear and told him I loved him before biting on it just hard enough for him to cry out from the pain.

Tear-stained face and saliva dripping down his cheek. Cock dripping with cum, wetting my abdomen again, I squinted my eyes, wondering if he did say he loved me too and I might've missed it.

"Jungkook…Tell me you love me…"

"Ahh…a…"

"Tell me…you…tell me…now…Jungkook?"

"I…"

"Faster."

I reached between our legs and grabbed his cock right below the head and squeezed, to stop him from orgasming.

"Love you."

"Yeah?"

"Yaa…"

I licked the inside of his ear as he tried to get my hand off his cock.

I tried to find his sweet spot in my dizziness. And I was sure I did so when he moaned louder than before and squeezed my hand instead of slapping it.

"I want to hurt you…but not badly…I…"

"ah…howah?"

"I don't know. I just want you to scream..."

I said as he was literally screaming from both pain and pleasure as I was thrusting into him.

I thought I heard the door for a minute but I kept going unbothered.

I kept his orgasm at bay as I bit the side of his neck until he screamed even louder but it still sounded like he was enjoying it. At least, enough for him not to push me away.

"Let me…cum....let me…please…" He pleaded as I twisted his cock.

"No."

"Please…I can't…it hurts…I'll burst…I'll…please…"

I choose another spot and sank my teeth into it as his back arched.

"Please…please…! Ah!"

"Only if you eat it after."

" I will. I… ah…will."

I watched him squirm as he tried to keep his eyes open enough to convince me, it had me kissing his lips as I jerked his cock instead of letting it go, continuing to fuck the same spot a bit faster.

And as his tongue stood completely still and he thrust forwards into my hand, I let him ride it out until he was doing nothing but breathing.

I scooped some of his cum onto my fingers and forced it through his closed lips.

He licked my fingers while my hand was still inside his mouth.

I was trying to see it but it was really hard to focus on which one of the two tongues was real.

Got my fingers out, reached lower, and choked him as I started ignoring his prostate entirely and simply fucked as deeply and as fast as I could.

I could see him getting redder as he was screaming on mute again.

The more I choked him, the more tears got out. The tighter his asshole clenched around me.

And as I kissed his cheek until I got to his mouth, I slipped my tongue in and let my spit drop into it while I was filling his ass with cum.

He was slapping the hand that I had against his neck as the veins of his head were popping out.

And when I finally let go, he didn't cough but inhaled as much air as he could while I continued to fuck him, enjoying the warmth of my own cum as I did so.

I caressed his left cheek as I kissed his right one.

When I was empty and he was unable to move a muscle.

I stood still and slipped my arms under him in an embrace.

He was looking at the ceiling, still trying to catch his breath while I kept kissing his cheek.

"You didn't forget to tell me if you didn't like something, did you?" I asked, suddenly worried.

"No." He breathlessly admitted.

"So you were fine with everything?"

"Yea."

"Do you think you will be tomorrow?"

He turned towards me and looked me straight in the eyes though I wondered if his vision was as cloudy as mine was.

"Did you leave any marks?"

"Everywhere I could."

"Huh."

He didn't seem too surprised as he went back to staring at the ceiling silently.

"Worried your crush will know you're taken?"

That had him snapping immediately.

"Will you stop it already?"

That made me grin.

"Stop…what? I am not doing anything now."

"With that…person. She asked. I said I wasn't. And then she asked me out and I said no. Happy? Now pull it out."

"Aw…why did you say no?"

He looked at me angrily and I was almost afraid he got sober in the meantime.

"You know why."

"No, I don't. Tell me."

"Bite me."

"Where?"

"Go to sleep, Namjoon."

"Oh! Now, you want to go to sleep?!"

"And pull out."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to."

"Namjoon…" He scolded me. I went on:

"I have some other things I want to talk about tomorrow…"

"Regarding?"

"Some things I want to do to you but I think I should ask first."

"Let's sleep until tomorrow"

"Can't we do it one more time before…?" I asked, with hope.

"No." He answered before I got to finish.

I had no idea where V went even though I was the one who told him not to return until the morning. No idea what time it was when we fell asleep. No idea if we had blankets on or if he'd walked in on us stark naked.

But when I opened my eyes and felt the ongoing headache, the guy was in his bed sleeping loudly.

'Shit.'

And some of my answers got answered as soon I pulled out of Jungkook's red asshole, and looked at the blanket on my back and didn't recognize it.

'Fuck. Oh well. Can't say I didn't warn him.'

I looked down and saw what I'd done. Well, on his front parts at least. He had marks I didn't recall doing all over his neck, shoulders, chest, legs, abdomen, and thighs. One of his nipples looked like it was seriously wounded. His abdomen had dried cum on it and even his cock looked swollen.

I didn't dare to look at this ass without guilt, though when I was wiping the lube and cum off the rest of his body in an attempt to make it look less bad, I tried to do the same with his ass and found that cum and lube kept coming out of him no matter how much I wiped.

When I looked at the clock and saw that it was already 1 PM, I laid down beside him. Covered us with the blanket that V most likely threw over us to protect his sanity and covered his cheek in kisses until his eyes snapped open.

He looked panicked even from the side.

"Good morning," I told him.

Hugged him.

Kissed him.

And hoped for the best.

"Morning."

"Keep your eyes closed if your head hurts. I'll go get you an aspirin."

Before I could get up, he said:

"Namjoon…"

"Yeah?"

"My ass hurts…"

"Of course it does."

"And my nipple."

"Yeah, about that…"

"And the side of my neck? Why does my neck hurt too?"

"Probably from chocking…but…a…what do you remember from last night?"

"I remember everything but nothing was hurting…too much."

"That's the power of endorphins, lube, and booze."

He sighed.

"Are you embarrassed?"

"…"

"Talk."

"…a bit."

"Does it help if I told you that I loved the way you reacted?"

"I am…not sure."

"But you felt good, didn't you?"

"Yes."

"Then why does anything else matters?"

He squinted his eyes at the ceiling. And after pursing his lips, he said:

"…because I remember you feeding me my own cum."

"For fucks sake!" V screamed from his bed.

A pillow came flying at me. And hit the side of my body again.

"Morning V," I told him.

"I could've lived my whole life without knowing that!"

And just like that, whatever level of shame Jungkook felt before, tripled in that instant.

He covered his face and breathed in and out loudly.

"Jungkook, it's fine. He's a pervert too. It's fine."

I assured him, kissing his hands. Smiling.

"But that's another level, you obsessed psycho!" V exclaimed, rubbing his eyes as if he wanted to get rid of the mental picture that way "What the hell is wrong with YOU?!"

"Shut up! How is it any of your business what I do in bed?!" I shouted.

"I truly don't want to know any of your bed business either!"

"Then buy earplugs! Actually, don't. I will gift them to you."

"Namjoon…?" Jungkook whispered and I turned to look at him in a second.

"It felt good." He stated.

"Yeah." I seconded him.

"No. It actually felt good." He insisted I realize this.

"Yes? And?"

"It didn't hurt in a bad way…well, at the beginning a bit, but…"

"And you're this surprised because…?"

As he seemed to be recalling more and more, he looked me dead and the eyes and stated:

"And you are a pig."

"You too.," I mumbled.

"I am not."

"Nooo…it's not like you started the whole thing." I mocked.

"I …did not." He whispered, looking away.

"It's time to listen to the recording," I stated in a deadpan voice.

"No!" He yelled as I reached out towards the desk, saying:

"The recording will remind you that you were, in fact, the cause of all the marks on your body and…"

"WILL YOU TWO JUST GET A HOTEL ROOM?!"