talking to myself

The orange soul of the sky hides beneath the rooftop of the hospital as Vaelyn steps out into the shaded world again. She stares at the ground, the light fading from a future she thought she'd never be able to escape, and raises her head with the weight of purpose. As she looks ahead to the forest where her body should have stayed, a wandering trail of smoke dwells over her head. The man of smoke stands at her side, holding a cigarette in his hand, and the other is tucked in the side of his suit.

"There's no place for you to go," the man coughs. "Wherever you try to run, you're going to end up dead every time."

Vaelyn glares at him. "If the world doesn't have a place for me, I'll find one tucked in the stars somewhere."

"Is that what she told you?" The man glares back, inhaling the thin paper in his hand again.

"Who? Have you been following me this whole time?" Vaelyn growls.

"No, but I've been on quite the search for my daughter," the man mentions. He blows a heavy cloud of smoke out into the dying winds, and Vaelyn's glare turns cold. He looks to her, finding the burning rage of the falling sun resurrected in her eyes, and looks out to the sky. "I saw you in my home. What have you done with her?"

"I'm keeping her safe," Vaelyn admits. The man snaps at her, his cigarette falling from his hand.

"You're kidnapping my daughter, Vaelyn. If you don't tell me where she is, I'm going to make sure what you just saw becomes a reality," the man threatens, pushing Vaelyn lightly in his stride.

"I'm keeping her safe!" Vaelyn yells. The man strikes her, knocking her down to the ground, and she screams.

"Where is my daughter?" He asks again in a greater tone, trying his best to speak over the ragged consequences of his smoking.

"I am your daughter! But you don't recognize me anymore, do you?" Vaelyn puts a hand out to block the harmful light of a long-dead sun as it stands over her. She stares into his frozen eyes with a plea for change. "You don't care for what I've become because I wasn't what you wanted me to be."

"Give me my daughter back!" The man kicks her in the stomach. She coughs and groans, rolling over to lie on her other side, and winces in pain.

"The daughter you knew is gone," Vaelyn cries. "I'm still everything you wanted."

"I wanted perfection," the man says. The words spiral out into the wind like bullets into Vaelyn's skin. She shivers, the cold no longer from the temperature, but from the burdens of her existence.

"I thought you'd find it in me after I was gone," Vaelyn stutters. She stares at the concrete, her tears crawling through the cracks of intricate squares as they cover the entrance of the hospital. They were created with the measurement of human achievement, just as all things in the city, but the faults of age still rested over their perfection. "The only thing you represent to me anymore is the lurking wish of death."

The man pulls out his cigarettes again and flicks up the lid for another. Looking down at the box, he realizes there is only one left, and tugs the last one out. He raises it to his mouth, dropping the box to the ground, and pulls out his lighter from the inside of his suit. Vaelyn stares at him while he lights the cigarette.

"I'm just like Katherine, aren't I?" The man asks, his voice soft once more, and the light at the edge of the cigarette faint with his heartbeats. "Lost to be forgotten in the past."

"Not anymore," Vaelyn coughs. She grips the ground, pushing her chest up, and slowly rises from the concrete. She stands, a line of blood in the corner of her mouth, and she wipes it slowly. She stares at her father with remorse, knowing his guilt will one day be greater than hers.

"Your innocence hasn't been lost in the horrors of your past?" The man asks. Vaelyn reaches for his cigarette, smacks his hand out of his face, and a dozen flakes of ash rush to the ground.

"I'm going to heal," Vaelyn states. "She's going to guide me to my place in the world."

"How many times do you have to dream to find it? You're never going to belong in reality unless you're in that damned hospital, you freak," the man responds. Vaelyn looks down to her feet, the cigarette resting between them, and she looks up to him with the darkened skies rising behind her.

"Thank you for making me who I am," Vaelyn says. "Even as a patient surrounded by the ivory of false hope, I'm still a better person than you. Enjoy your cigarette."

Vaelyn crushes the cigarette with her boot, putting out the everlasting fire of her trauma, and her steps toward the waking moonlight draw further from the man. He turns as she passes him, a muted glow left in the stride of the sun, and the hallucination fades with the rest of the scenery behind him. The moon rises once again with a new hue in her light.