Chapter 14

"You look like shit", Cassie announced sitting in the chair opposite to me in the cafeteria.

I feel like shit. Last night was brutal. I had woken up from the dream with tears streaming down my cheeks and my nails biting the skin of my waist, as somewhere in between the dream I had curled myself in a fetal position. Clinging to myself for support.

I had never had any dream about Travis before, so last night took a toll on me. My limbs were feeling so defeated and beaten up when I woke up that I could not even get up, forget going on a run to clear my head. So, I kept laying there staring at my canvas, wondering why have I kept trust in it still there when mine was broken years ago.

"Gee, that's what every girl wants to hear", I replied dryly, taking a sip of my half-and-half coffee.

"You okay?", Cassie asked.

I swiped some French fries from her plate and she glared at me before shifting her plate away from my reach.

I grinned at her, "This was your payback for eating my Doritos last night. And yeah, I'm okay."

She shrugged and then dig into her lunch. Girl loves her food more than she loves her best friend and I can't help but chuckle at that. But my laugh came to a halt when I felt a shadow behind me combined with the expression on Cassie's face as she looked over my shoulder.

I turned to see Drake standing behind my chair but instead of the boyish grin he always wore, his lips were set in a thin line with a grim expression.

"Hi", I said softly.

He just gave a nod and pointed over his shoulder, "Think you can step out for a minute?"

"Uh....", I looked at Cassie feeling a little nervous from Drake's serious expression. But Cassie was busy glaring at Drake with narrowed eyes. What the hell? "Yeah, sure", I replied to Drake.

I pushed my chair back and gestured for him to proceed. "Grace", Cassie's voice stopped me and I turned to look at her. "You call me if you need me", she said with a serious face I have never seen on her, and then she gave a pointed glance at Drake.

What the hell is this all about? She is not even being subtle about it. I nodded at her and made a mental note to have a word with my best friend later. She needs to tell me what is her problem with Drake.

We stepped out of the cafeteria and I thought we were going to stop there but Drake kept walking so I followed. He leads us through the campus to the back parking lot and stopped in front of his jeep.

I looked around to see the whole parking lot was empty and I started fiddling with nervous energy. "You know a guy named Brian?", Drake's word brought my eyes back to him.

"What?", I asked faking calm while on the inside my heart started beating crazy as all the thoughts flew out of my head.

"Brian?", he asked again with a hint of accusation and raised eyebrows. His eyes were piercing into me just like Mrs. Bentley's eyes had been in my dream. The memory brought a surge of anger inside of me and I took a defensive stance in front of him.

"What about him?", I asked in a tight voice while crossing my arms at my chest.

Whatever I have with Brian is my personal stuff to tell or not to tell. If he thinks he can guilt me for hiding that, he has something else coming.

"He called me this morning."

"He did WHAT?!", I screeched as my arms fell to my sides.

"Yeah..", Drake said and looked away. His jaw clenching for a while before he looked back, "He told me---no, actually warned me----to stay away from you. What I really want to ask is, is that what you want? And if it is, why didn't you told me that yourself? Some random guy is calling me at the break of the dawn while I was still half asleep and spewing bullshit like that."

I was speechless and mortified to my bones. "Drake I.."

"No, Grace", he cut me as he let out an exasperated breath, "Last night was awesome and I had never had that much good time with anybody else ever. And I thought...I thought, it has been the same for you", he paused and tears started brimming in my eyes, "But maybe, I was wrong. Look I don't know what you have told that guy about me and I don't give a flying fuck what that jerk thinks about me, but I'm not the kind of guy who will take advantage of you. Ever. You don't want to see me, that's fine, say the word and I won't bother you."

I didn't want to say anything. How could I, when I can see the hurt in his eyes and knowing it was me who had placed it there?

Years of hurting have made me realize that hurt is a bitch that slowly eats you away, and for that reason only I try tooth and nail not to hurt someone. Maybe I think too much but it is what it is, and when you have been subjected to something too much and for too long; you either stop caring altogether or try your best not to do the same ever with someone else. You try hard to not be the source of something like that for someone else. So, seeing him hurting was like a stab to my gut.

He took my silence for something else and nodded before leaving. And I let him. I watched his back retreating to the campus until he was not visible anymore. Then I got inside my car and revved it for a while, letting my nerves get calm enough to drive. I drove through the city crossing my dorm building until I can see the red cherry bushes lining the trail.

I parked to the side and started running to the pier of the lake as I fumbled with one hand to take my phone out. I saw there was a message from Cassie but I ignored it and dialed the number that needs to be reamed into a new person.

It rang four times before his voice came through the speaker, "Hey babe, I'm a little busy can I---"

"You will step out", I cut Brian before he can say anything else, "and talk to me right. Fucking. Now."

"Oh", he said quietly, "Give me a minute." I hear his muffled voice talking for five minutes and I willed myself to not snap at him for taking so much time. There was shouting and guy's laughter coming from the background, a moment later sound of door clicking came cutting all the noises from the background.

"Yeah. Go ahead, I know you're mad at me", he said.

"Why?", I asked. My voice was low but laced with controlled rage.

"I guess, you know why you're mad at me."

"Brian, I swear to god I'm hanging by a fucking thread here so don't mess with me. You know damn well what I'm asking you about." I had never in a year talked to Brian like this and a part of me was feeling bad for doing that right now. But he had crossed a line today.

He remained silent for a while. His breath coming deep from the other end. "I don't know", he said quietly.

"You don't know?!", I screeched and then let out a humorless laugh, "At least be honest to yourself. You know damn well, that you were being a possessive asshole who wants to control every single fucking thing in his girlfriend's life!"

"It's not like that. I don't want to control you!"

"Then, what was it?!", I didn't give him time to answer it and kept going, "Oh yeah, I know what was it. You wanted to prove that my girlfriend is fucking spineless and so disloyal that you can't even believe to talk to her first before doing shit like that! 'Cause who knows, she might be even lying to you."

"Grace, no! No, it was not---"

"That's what I'm asking you, Brian. Why would you do that?", I asked him, "You didn't even bother to think that I have my fucking privacy too and I get to decide whether I want someone to know about my boyfriend or not", I paused and then said, "You know what, you don't get to decide who I'm going to hang out with. If I want to talk to Drake, I will sure-as-hell do that and you can't utter a word about it. Now if you'll excuse me, I've some damage control to do."

Silence greeted me for a while before Drake growled, "Damage control?"

"Yeah", I said calmly, "You know, apologizing and all on the behalf of someone who has behaved like a top-notch jerk."

"Grace, you're NOT apologizing to that asshole for shit", he said his voice coming angry now which infuriated me even more. And then he had the nerve to go and say this, "I swear to god, Grace, if you do that we're going to be over."

"Try me", I said sweetly and hung upon him. Two seconds later my phone started ringing again and I sent it to voicemail before turning my phone off. I knew I had to do something before I lose my damn mind, so I set my phone on the pier, took a deep breath, and jumped in the cold water with a splash.