As I looked over at her, it struck me how beautiful she was. Her hair was blowing carelessly in the wind, a halo on her head. I had the oddest impulse to reach out and touch. See if it was as soft as it looked. Her lips were curled into a soft smile that radiated warmth. I wondered who or what she was thinking of and my heart skipped a beat imagining her smiling for me. 

It's crazy how i never noticed how blue her eyes are. Or how her laughter sounds like summertime. It's strange how I never really looked at her. And suddenly i couldn't stop staring.

Chasing Sunshine

Fifteen minutes later everyone had left after being kicked out by Spencer. They complained but eventually left. Now it was just him and I. I'm perfectly fine. Not dying inside at all. 


"Honey, do you want anything?" I wince at the term of endearment. God I'm a fucking terrible person. 


"Earl Grey would be nice, please" I reply "coming right up" I sit down on the couch. Then stand back up and begin pacing. 


Ten minutes later I'm still pacing. "Zayleigh, what's wrong?" he's standing in the doorway, looking so concerned and he shouldn't be. He shouldn't worry about me because I'm a terrible person and I don't deserve him. Not at all. So why can't I let him go? 


Why, despite knowing that I don't deserve him, that I'm going to hurt him, do I still want him to stay? Why am I hoping we can move passed this? 


I begin to tear up. He rushes over, putting both cups down "love, what's wrong?" I can't stop myself from crying. 


21 • I'm Sorry