The Journey Of Samkelisiwe Nzama

As Samkelisiwe being told that there was a trouser of hers that was stolen and has been used to prevent her from having babies. Killed her every day. I will always ask myself which trouser was that. I would stand up from where ever I am, start searching my wardrobe to find out which one was it pink, blue, black or rather white. Where did they even get it from?!

I mean the book that was also taken. I couldn't remember anything about it. I was literally brain washed! I would sit alone and cry sometimes and think why have God chosen me?! How I wished to be like other teenagers and be happy. Laugh out loud and smile big. But with the Journey of Samkelisiwe Nzama nothing tends to last forever as in like "happiness".

Help me answer the question "Why would an elderly woman in her 40's, 50' or rather 30's, even dare to think of preventing a 17-year-old from having babies or rather say?! A 17-year-old who didn't even think of having a Family soon or even in 5 years’ time. But it seems like the enemy was 7 steps ahead.

Am forever trying to avoid this drama by all means, but this part of the story hits harder. As I can't wait to see Samkelisiwe Nzama in 10 years from now. Do you think she would be holding a baby in her hands?!

When people said "When days are dark friends are few". I can relate in many ways. Friends do not become fewer rather say they don't exist at all. Am surrounded everyday by people who I know what they did to me. I greet them every day I’ve got no choice. I see them smile every day, happy every day that passes by. Yet they don't know that, I know what they did. I still remember the ' inyanga yomsotho' I still remember the Makhosi description.

God has not punished them yet; I would ask myself why are they still happy after what they did. But I would tell myself that what takes long to happen, that means its big.

The passing away of Makhosi was an unexpected storm in my life. Gone she was, just like that! She was old and passed away and left me with too many questions. If it wasn’t for her, I don't think I would be where I am in life. She helped me a lot. And prayers helped too.

It is said that, at times no matter how good a teacher is, his students may still fail. Oftentimes the reason is that those students have refused to learn, they are not teachable. To be teachable is to be willing to be taught and to learn. Well in the journey of Samkelisiwe Nzama I had to learn it the hard way.

When Makhosi told me about the two women's she never mentioned their names to me, she only described them. Makhosi was supposed to come cleanse my room as she told me that the reason, I don't sleep at night is because of what they've placed in my room. She told me she need to come cleanse it otherwise I wouldn't find peace at all. I mean I used to pray every day but all stood still. Peace was never there at home.

I remember one night I went to bed. I actually prayed before sleeping, that's what I did every day. I heard sounds in my room the moment I closed my eyes. I could hear someone opening the door and actually trying to push it open but couldn't. The person kept on pushing the door but couldn't enter. I woke up and switched on the light opened the door and checked weather the window was opened or what. But it was closed.

I switched off the light again and went to sleep, but now the sound came from both the door and the wardrobe. It sounded like; someone was trying to push them open but they couldn't. I kept on doing the same thing, switching on the light whenever I heard the sound and that night I slept late, doing the same thing over and over again.

Who was trying to enter, what did they want and why couldn't they enter? I thought maybe I was protected by my prayer and am lucky the door didn't open at all. Things were not going as planned. I used to write my examination at my mother's friend's house. Home didn't allow me to write in terms of network. I felt like I was cursed!

Then I remembered that I was told that I have a calling, but at home we kind of ignored that. As I am busy with school. I thought maybe all that bad things happening was because of ancestral punishment. But I kept on praying even though it seemed like a waste of time, because nothing changed.

While we are there, I felt a bit guilty about the death of Makhosi. I mean she told me that inyanga yomsotho was very powerful very strong, allow me to say stronger than her. She helped me fight that inyanga and we won in a way. What if it was him? Or was Makhosi sick? What happened to Makhosi?

See you don't know what people go through behind the scenes trying to cope with life. Let them know "being me is not easy! It's not for the faint hearted “I fought with my fears, my doubts my anxiety, my insecurities. I fought with haters, liars and betrayers. I even had to fight with family. And many times, I laid on the bed and I couldn't go to sleep because I was fighting with myself. I FOUGHT!!!

My tears where words to be written, nothing could cure my soul but the senses, just nothing could cure my sense but my soul. I was the fainting Samkelisiwe Nzama. My tears shed, but that was not my sign of weakness. I was walking in all kinds of sadness.

Everyone though I was happy and that I have it all together. What they did not know is, I was dying inside. I did not have it all together. Samkelisiwe Nzama was falling apart.

But the Journey of Samkelisiwe Nzama hurts me more than death. I mean even monkeys fall from the tress. I was the one who lived in my journey so knew where the roof leaked