lost_inrealworld11

hey you yeah you try this story. 

this will be short story most probably of 20 chapters. about A girl ,who only have 15 days to live die to cancer writes her diary for last 15days how she is spending them what are her feelings.

and if you fear death or something like that then please don't read and I don't wanna hurt someone feeling by writing this story. this is a just a FICTION. OKAY

LAST 15 DAYS

Can anyone know how much our parents love us or we do to them. like I know and respect my parents love for me, insecurity and protectivness for my future and life but just using some harsh word ,even in anger, making us regret and way more exhausted in present does that create future? 


I know you want me to have everything you never had, I know you have expectations, I know it's hard to see my future falling all is for me ,for my betterment but the thing is, can't I go little slow. 


I don't care if some kid is good at math , can't I be accepted for what I am. why a little appreciation is too hard to make. 


I am sorry I can't be like her, can I please be like me. 


sometimes I just wanna know who I am. I feel like I am gone ,I wonder what I really enjoyed last time 


older you get, older you know, save yourself you are just hurting yourself in flow. 


I am sorry I am not that kind of person who keeps proving everyone wrong, just like a day when I was pushed by my own mom because my cousin got really good marks, She pushed me asking can you even bring a delivery. 


I understand she was sad that I am not good as her and she also was little sad about it but for me it imprinted in my mind. 


all I can say is these little gestures are just making hard for me to live, maybe everyone is wrong in there own place.


 all I can sorry mom dad for being loser my whole life. 


by the way, Maybe I am the only one in our family to go and make preparations of my own death. 


Like there this graveyard where most of my family is buried and the graveyard uncle knows us really well. 


so I went there without even knowing because I don't wanna make anyone feel sad or something. 


I great him and we exchang some word of concern for dying person like he doesn't knows that's me I just told him the person is my best friend. 


we choose everything from coffins to flowers. then I gave him a tape in which I recorded my voice just a small note for everyone. 


I asked him not to listen until the day. 


and then I came back to hospital, actually Tommorow is my surgery god knows I am coming back or not. 


I am on the bed of hospital , lots of people wished I wake up Saying guys this was just a bad dream I am alright. 


but I am here on the other side, wondering nothing. since I am getting weaker it's harder to write. 


Day 9