... . . ...

Tears welled up in my eyes and ran down my cheeks. Yes, everyone receives a wish and a gift on their birthday but strangely for me, it felt like it was longer than 365 days, something that I might have forgotten, which I did. My train of thought of how I can be so forgetful when I was interrupted.

"Caleb! Open the box already!" Cassandra shouted. Casper was equally excited, leaning over Cassandra's head, ruining her clothes in the process.

Inside the box was some money which was no doubt from my parents; a set of photos of our family with birthday cards from Cassandra and Casper; and a smaller gift wrapped in light blue with a white ribbon. A small smile grew on my face.

Cassandra blurted out, "That present's from Nathan. He came over wanting to pass it to you but you were at Amari's house, so he-"

"Cassie! You're ruining the surprise!" Casper shouted back. The two youngest siblings started quarrelling. Cassandra was a sneaky child, she would make me blush whenever she had the chance. Casper knew some feelings weren't meant to be shared so openly but it couldn't be helped. Catherine and I stepped away from the table, looking at the serene city landscape illuminated by the full moon outside the window.

"I'm sorry mom and dad couldn't come and celebrate with you again." Catherine said softly.

"Hey, Cat, I'm glad I got to celebrate with you guys. That's enough for me, so don't beat yourself up."

She sighed in agreement. I looked back out the window. I thought about the wish that I always made as I blew out my candles—for my parents to come back home. What good will it do if I keep wishing? Looking out at the city again, in one of the faraway buildings, I pictured their clear silhouettes even from a distance, waving back at me.

"You should open the smaller parcel, Cal. You've let your mind wander enough," Catherine smirked.

Thoughts raced through my blank mind. My head was spinning with countless ideas of what Nathan could have given me. Could it be a toy? Well, it would be a rather small toy, or maybe it's something precious, like a stone. Wait, why would anyone ever give someone else that-does he hate me? Like Santa Claus giving bad children a piece of coal? No, that's not right, unless I've done something to really upset him. Oh man, would I be able to accept rejection and move on?

No, no, nothing is for sure. Not until I say anything to him about my feelings. I have to at least try. Why is this so difficult to let it out?

I looked down into the box. I tried to refocus myself back in the room, looking at my siblings, who were waiting impatiently to see my reaction. But, maybe, I'm just not ready to know what is in the box. I might disappoint them, or worse, find me ungrateful for not having any appeal for what they have done for me.

What if I don't give them the expression they expect?

I can't let them down like this or be an ungrateful sibling, so the best next thing is to compromise. It's not lying, I just need another solution.

I gasped in shock. Cassandra questioned me at the top of her lungs, "Caleb, did you open it? What is it? What is it? Tell us please!"

"It's 1 a.m.! You all have never been up this late before! This is unacceptable!" I bellow in a low voice as I place down the box and run towards them, scooping both Casper and Cassandra in my arms and dashing to their rooms. They screamed in my ear, demanding me to let go of them, kicking the air, trying to wriggle their way out. Their fist punched me repeatedly all over the back. Even if they were small in stature, they had tremendously powerful blows. I didn't leave Catherine out either, grabbing her into the same room as Cassandra, giggling at my somewhat successful attempt of getting those rascals into bed.

"Now! As per the order of the birthday person, you all must sleep! Including me!" I bellowed to get their attention on top of their high-pitched wailings.

Cassandra spoke out, "But it's not fair, you haven't opened the present Nathan gave you yet!" My mouth gaped open. I tried to give a proper, non-related to my actual feelings, kind of like a lie answer but nothing came up.

Catherine saw I was struggling and was kind enough to obey me, reasoning with Cassandra and Casper, "We all have class tomorrow, technically today, and if we don't have enough sleep, what will happen?"

"I don't know, does it matter?" Casper piped in. The screams came to a halt and I'm still surprised how Catherine calmed the whole room down. She gave me an assuring look and a quick nod. I stepped out into the small hallway, rubbing my eyes. A loud, piercing ring shot through my ears. No doubt it was from the fighting earlier.

The door to Catherine's and Cassandra's room clicked closed.. I could still hear them discussing among themselves. It reminded me of when I was younger, as she would have the same talk with me about sleep. What she told me always worked for me, about how I could meet our parents in my dreams, whenever they weren't at home.

But, I don't know if I can still believe in that anymore. Maybe my mind doesn't want to process the thought because it's not working for me nowadays. Having the same hope for so long, doesn't it get pointless? Am I too old for believing? Have our parents been really gone for so long?

I shake the feeling off, slowly trudging back to my room, picking up my present along the way. The faint voices coming from the room become softer and silence settles over the home once more. It felt peaceful for a while but I don't think I can live with this silence, not without my annoying, screaming siblings but especially not without our parents.