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Is this what Amari has been telling me about?

I can't look at him without an answer, out of all times, why can't I give him an answer now? I can't face him this way, I just don't know what else to do and it won't be fair to him that I remain clueless. My reactions throughout the day haven't been anything close to good, nor what I will say now would be any better. My half-baked answers aren't going to suffice, but I don't have an answer for him now.

"OH MY GOSH!"

The words shot through the class, Nathan's grip went cold, pulling back his arm. We both turned to the source of the sound. A plump girl walked in, she looked hysterical in her high ponytail, pink earpods, swinging her hands in the air with her phone, a decorated bag with K-pop keychains and an excellent dancer. We continued watching her as she made her way past the rows of tables to her seat.

She continued talking, completely unaware of us. Nathan clenched down on his hand, worried if someone saw us. The mixture of anger and guilt swelled up on his face.

"Nathan, we-we can talk after school," I calmly spoke to him. He eased slightly but the matter is being put on hold, besides we can't blame our classmate for what had happened. Nathan didn't seem to like the idea but sat down impatiently and tried to focus his energy somewhere else.

I wanted to reassure him, extending my hand out to pat his back but I recoiled it tightly, I might have given the wrong message to him. I feel the flames heighten as the fire consumes more of the bridge, there has to be a way to fix this.

Class was slow, or maybe my thoughts were too fast. Peering outside the class windows, I watch some of the other classes play captain ball during their sports period. Some screams and shouts here and there, the colourful blobs running quickly across the cement floor.

Thinking about the question: Am I just a friend to you?

Well, Amari, you're right, I don't know my relationship with Nathan because he sees more of us than 'friends' and I didn't want to see it that way but…

Why not be more than friends?

I could feel my posture change slightly, angling my chest more upward and breathing in fresh air, it seems so clear. Why not just tell him how I feel because right now I feel great. I'm a little overconfident but I think I'm ready!

"Caleb, what's the answer to the question?" shouted Mdm Leong, I felt like I could fall off my chair. Catching me off guard felt embarrassing and everyone was looking at me, Nathan's eyes matched everyone else's, like it lost its spark.

My nervousness was setting in again, trying to raise my voice so I could be heard across the classroom, "S-sorry, what's the question again?"

"Sigh, Caleb, how can you be like this, the national exams are coming up," the teacher shook her head in frustration and asked my table partner, Max, to answer the question. My partner looked at me in confusion, wondering if I'm even his classmate.

"Yo, Caleb, I thought you knew the answer," as he continued to scan me, now I'm worried that I have caused a problem, "What did I do?"

Max seemed quizzical that I didn't know what I did, but unfortunately I really didn't know what I did, "You puffed up your chest and that caught the teacher's attention, and besides you answered most of the questions, smarty pants, and by the way, happy birthday!"

The K-pop enthusiastic student sitting near us, shot us an intense look. I whispered my thanks to Max and continued with the lesson.

The school day was strangely the most uninteresting day, or maybe because nobody really knows it's my birthday, besides my friends. Holding in all my excitement felt tiring, the fatigue making it more difficult to concentrate. The last few classes weren't too taxing, doing questions I had already studied for several days ago.

Since I completed the exercise faster than my partner, he continuously bugged me to help him on his paper, making as little noise as possible so that the teacher wouldn't notice us as she walked around the class, like a prowling tiger ready to pounce at the smallest mistake.

She caught wind of our discussion, cocking her head directly at us, her eyes raging with fire. Max was trying to keep his voice down, whispering curse words while I remained frozen, bent over in a position of assisting him.

"Mdm, Leong, can you help me?" someone shouted from across the room, she bolted towards the sound of the voice. Some other students snickered for the student's incompetence for disrupting the class. She searched the room, until Nathan's hand was raised.

He just pulled us out of trouble from the teacher. I kept checking on him if he was alright after getting stared down by Mdm. Leong for not being able to answer a simple question. Max slouched back in his chair, more than relieved to be out of the teacher's fiery gaze.

"Caleb, who are you staring at, come help me," whispering loudly enough for me to hear and not get called again by Mdm. Leong.

Not much homework was given today but more notes for revision, I clasped my head in my hands trying to keep myself from exploding after the tumultuous day. Max ran for the door as so many other students did, leaving a few of us including Nathan packing our bags.

The basketball captain, Ryn, returned to the class, all geared up and ready to play basketball. He called the other team mates to get changed, but when he called Nathan, I felt my heart jump a little out of my skin. The rest of the members rushed out with their clothes while Nathan went up to Ryn and talked to him.

Ryn looked surprised and almost guilty, shouting from the door, "Happy birthday, man!"

Nathan looked at me briefly, hoping to see my reaction from the unexpected wish. I replied to him with my thanks and Ryn left the classroom, patting Nathan on the back.

"Let's go home, Caleb," normally I would feel overjoyed to walk home together with him without having to stay back but because of everything that has happened so far, something stirred in me, unsure if I was ready to get it off my chest until it's spoken.

Love.