He's Confused

No, but I have never felt so comforted by anyone talking to me like that. My eyes were softened to look at her in the eyes, By the time I tried to give her a reply or eye contact, she left. I was overwhelmed by the immediate happiness she gave me, and the things happening to me previously felt so different and unusual. I regretted that I couldn't see her face or continue the conversation. I didn't want to back off, instead, I knocked at the door once again. She opened the door with her bangs falling on her face, she seemed like she was in a rush, I was about to question when she replied to me as fast as the wind, "The tip? keep it, have a great day!!" She cut off and closed the door. Her face wasn't clear, and the only thing I saw was her lips, they were as pink as a rose. I walked away from the house, considering that it might not be Mrs.Celie's house.

Keeping low expectations, I walked towards my bike. I drove the bike to the next address. And the half-day flew by with my pizza deliveries. And, finally, I went into the bookstore after taking a break from my part-time job. I questioned the owner of the small bookstall, "Sir, is there any merch of kpop?" He chuckled and questioned, "Is this Rich? who's asking for kpop merch?" Since I wasn't a kid of kpop and any fan of theirs, the owner seemed bewildered by my question. Meanwhile, I got pissed with the sarcasm he carried, he continued to talk as I eyed. "okay, sure, There is a Bts merch that recently came, wanna check it out?" I nodded knowing who BTS was, of course, the seven beautifully talented men who worked hard to pave their way. The owner showed me different types of merch, one was an album and the other's were keychains and small little things. I selected a keychain of all the seven in them, made it packed, and bought it. I walked towards the home, feeling excited to see my sister's reaction. I went into my home. I saw that a deep conversation was taking place among my family, and my sister was tearing up. I was lost and confused, My mom saw me and questioned my dad, "Should I call him too?" My dad nodded looking at me. My face was, as usual, covered with bangs and a black mask.

I walked and placed myself calmly on the couch, trying not to get into any problem. My dad questioned, "Do you know what happened?" I shook my head, my mom continued, "Your sister, Millie, failed her class." I was abruptly surprised, my sister's sobs were sounding so sad. She was a person who'd never cry for the littlest things, but I think as she grew up she became a little sensitive personality, just like me. My heart started racing faster, I didn't know what to reply, My throat felt weird sensations, my anxiety was aggravating me. I didn't have proper self-control, I tried to reply while my mom spoke negatively with her fingers pointing me, "You'll go through the same phrase if you dont study." My face turned red with anger and the fear from her words. She was just not the right person to argue with. I knew it would be a huge mess if I tried to talk and solve things out. The thing that bothered me was that my sister wasn't happy, obviously, and seeing her sad and upset was not making me happy. I walked back to my room without anything coming out of my mouth. I took out the work given by my tutor yesterday and started to solve the problems. It felt so relieving and calm after I completed my work. I took out my book and continued reading the last few pages. It was an emotional moment for me, it felt like the world was going to end. "And, now she's a writer too, I wonder how life works tricks on us, right?" I felt that line from her book., it was heart-piercing.

Following the evening, The last page of the book was left, and I couldn't control my tears. It was a feeling of yearning for something very special to me. I was going to miss the book, I comforted myself, "You can read this, again and again, right? Don't cry-" The interruption to my talk was my mom barging into my room without any permission. She questioned, looking at my teary face, "Why are you crying? You will fail in life if you continue to behave like this." I nodded and left my room with my study material. I didn't want to hear any of her stupid and misleading words. I was a suicidal guy back in time, it was only because I was dependent on my family for my happiness and sadness. I thought they were only the people that injected my feelings, but I was wrong in my case. I was crazy to decide and set my feelings among them. I walked down the stairs, and the tutor arrived. She spoke smiling, "Done with the homework?" I nodded and sat beside her for my class to start.

Time passed, and it was almost night, I was sluggish and exhausted. Later she left, giving me loads of work to do. I yawned and left back to my room. The dark night gave me a great idea to read the last page. "What makes your heartbeat? what is that you dream about?" and, obviously I was confused and stuck up to think about dreaming. Her question left me thinking about my own existence, what makes me love myself? what is that want's me work for hours and hours, endlessly? I didn't know, Since I was a confused teen.

There was another knock on the door, I was worried once again. When I unlocked the door, I saw my sister with her drowsy eyes. I bent down and hugged her without any words spoken. I felt her heart beating through the back of her skin, She was anxious and depressed. I got her into my room without any question, She eye smiled at me. Her eyes clouded and she continued to cry. I patted her back and spoke, "You're literally so strong, I'm so proud of you." She cut my flow of talking and spoke, "But, I failed my class." I softly smiled and spoke, comforting her, "Millie, Life is full of choices and you're the one who's gonna decide. So, are you going to sad about missing the same class, or going to be happy about getting a new set of people? Tell me." Her tears faded and, her beautiful little smile appeared.