The Game

"If you can win my little game, you're free."

I ran. Boy, did I run. I have to win this game, I have to escape. I run between the trees, listening behind me for the three chasing me. I have to outrun them, I have to move on with my life. And, this was the only way. To win this little game and escape. How else was I going to? 

"I know you're near."

I cringe at the sound of that voice. All the pain that voice, that face caused me. Memories rush through my mind and I fight back the tears as I run. I have to watch my surroundings, I have to- I smack into a tree and stumble backwards.

"Leave me alone!"

My tears fall as I force myself up and run again, my ankle now in pain. My legs burn, but I can't look back.

"Why? I just want to love you."

He laughs and I feel my emotions on the brink of exploding. All these memories, all these feelings, all this-

"I can help you."

I freeze instantly, remembering those blue eyes I got lost in. The way that face, that voice made me feel. How caring and sweet an old friend was.

"...Can you?"

The memories I dread flood in. The pain, the pure heartbreak of not being enough. The jealousy and agony I felt when it all faded into nothing more than sad looks and bullshit. 

"No, you can't."

I run again, this time with conviction. The burning in my legs no longer became my issue, it was the searing pain within my own chest that bothered me. Knowing I don't mean much, no more than someone to show off to. No more than another peer. No matter how much he meant to me, I never meant that much to him. And, that burns more than anything.

"Oh, look where you are now."

The last voice irritates me, that little lisp due to bad teeth. That childish, petty tone. 

"You're a cunt."

I continue running, avoiding walls now.

"Hey, this isn't fair! You never told me you could do this!"

His laughter boomed, his tone turning dark with every word, "I never told you what was in store, did I?"

My pace became quicker, jumping over walls forming underneath me. It began to storm, raining as I ran. The ground became unsteady, uneven beneath me. 

"All this running is getting me nowhere, isn't it?"

"Did you finally figure it out?"

His crimson eyes sparkled with amusement and playfulness. There was something more to this than he was saying.

"My game is simple. Outrun me, and you win. Escape," He became serious before smirking, "But, I have the advantage here."

He split himself into three, and his smirking faces became three I knew all too well. Three parts of my past that I wanted nothing to do with. 

"You begin the game, start running when you're ready."

I noticed his smirk fail, and the look in his eyes became sad. It only lasted for a second, though, and his facade was back. But, I didn't have time to focus on that. I had to run, I had to win this game. If I could live on from my past, get away from it, and escape this reality I trapped myself in. This repetition of mistakes, a vicious cycle of misery and trauma. I had to be done, and I think he was, too. 

"You may begin," He said sadly.

"This is doing nothing for me, running from it all."

I stop, catching my breath.

"No, it's not," He agreed.

The rain becomes a downpour as I stand, turning to face the three faces that still haunt me. The faces that keep me from really being happy.

"What am I to do, then?" 

My tears go unnoticed, blending into the downpour. 

"What do you feel you are to do?"

I slowly walk towards one of the clones, staring sadly into its eyes. The eyes I was so lost in that I didn't know how to let go, how to deal with my anger. How to dig myself out of that hole. My tears fall freely, but I remain silent. 

"You're not an ally of mine. You're here for your own purpose and it's not for me, "I pause, prolonging the words that scream in my mind, "I set you free."

I feel a weight fall from my shoulders, but the sadness I feel remains. The loss of someone I thought was a friend, someone that cared. I breathe a painful breath and walk to the clone to the left. His eyes hold...nothing for me. His eyes are blank.

"I, "I pause, taking in a painful breath, "I'm sorry. You...never were a priority, truly. I was childish and I needed something to escape my hellish reality. I never truly was fair to you or showed you who I am. And, maybe that was the downfall of us. Or, maybe it was you. Maybe it was both of us."

I stare sadly into the eyes of nothingness, "I set myself free from this because I don't truly believe that it meant something to you."

The weight feels lighter, but not by much. I look at the last clone and he looks back. I take in a breath and walk forward.

I pause before speaking, "You have done so much. So much to break me, to destroy me. And, I should have had you locked up. I should have walked away, just left it where it was, and moved on. But, I didn't. And, I wish I had. You have given me memories that had brought me peace, the feeling of bliss, even. You showed me parts of you or maybe a false image of how sweet and caring you can be. But, you showed your true colors, in the end. And, as much as it pains me, "I pause, "I release you."

He disappears and I see the sadness in his eyes, but the weight lifts off of me once again. I turn around carrying the grief within my heart, walking towards the exit. Walking to my true future, whatever that may be. I feel the tears fall, and the rain stops. I don't hide my pain but continue on until I see the path I was looking for.

"You have won. We are free now."

I smile to myself, a sad small smile of someone who's just been through too much. As I walk down the path, I see a light. Not the overdramatic bright light, but the light of a porch. The light of my porch and I approach the door hesitantly. I know walking in here means I follow my own path from here. I make my own future, my own choices. I escape my trauma and end the vicious cycle that I have been trapped in. I finally have the opportunity to move on with my life and I open the door. And, friends, that is where I see the overdramatic white light.