Just Another High School Story!

He woke up in a daze, and realised that his instagram, messenger, and everything social was blowing up, there were people tagging him, hundreds of people but right now, all he wanted was for her to call. Maybe, if she admitted that she'd been wrong to ignore him, he'd forgive her, with all the hate that had engulfed his heart, love still had authority, he was ready to forgive as long as she asked, as long as she was the one who apologised first ,he didn't want to do it this time. They'd had 3 fights in 3 months, and all those times, he'd let it go, this time it was her turn. He wanted to see how benevolent she was. Or maybe, he was tired too, of being in a relationship, of being responsible for someone, more than being just feeling like he was, of lending his shoulder to someone who was wailing, he was tired of the noise and so things played out the way they did. But that wasn't his fault, or hers. Even if he couldn't support her, he was just doing her a favour by letting her fight her battle independently. She had a lot to learn, so did he.

We're always rueful about things that happen, and we can never see how things are going to work out, a fall sometimes feels like the end, while other times, it feels like the beginning, sometimes you want to fail, other times, you want to succeed, no matter what happens though, don't be sad for too long, don't stay on the ground for too long, don't keep it in for too long, let yourself live what you want, don't hold back for too long, life is short, and you've got one opportunity to live it. If you're not living it to the fullest, you're wasting your time. Cry, if you feel like it, don't hold it in, the ones that hide their feelings aren't the strong ones, the ones who are ready to let the tears stream down their face, and taint their skin no matter in what pattern. They don't hold it in when they feel like things are hard, they decide to deal with it head on, and if you want to deal with something, you've got to at least know you're feeling it, or you're going through it, if you keep it in, and act like everything's fine, I'm sorry but that isn't going to get you anywhere, I want you to live life to the fullest, for your sake, be the best, not for someone else, but because you want to be. Love yourself for yourself, that's not being selfish, it's being smart. Deal with problems head on, just like Leah is going to from now on.

Leah walked into Gramps' office, and saw that the old foggy was reviewing documents, he was happy to see her, she was too, but she wasn't going to stay for too long. She sat down and cleared her throat, this almost felt like she was going to give a speech, over the past few months, she'd gotten to know Gramps, and love him, the guy was really open minded, someone who didn't criticise her for throwing up her food, but someone who said that he understood, he got what she said, he'd listen to her patiently, never get mad when she told him about the urge to throw up, and how it kept coming back. She'd been busy with school, but she was growing tired, she needed to find herself, reinvent herself. But for that she decided to do it on her own. It was because she didn't think someone could fight in her stead, she needed tough love, she needed to devise methods that would help her, so far everything she'd tried wasn't working. Just like Buddha, she wanted to find a state of complete satisfaction, she'd not find it by looking outward, she had to start searching her soul for answers. She'd not give up this time, because this time Leah was fighting for Leah.

"I'm sorry Gramps, you're a great doctor but I think that medicine can't cure me now, since the wound isn't superficial, it lies somewhere inside of me, I need to heal from the inside." Leah said, stoically, she looked composed, she had a battle plan, and she'd make sure to bring home a victory. "You don't have to be sorry. If you ever need help with something or just want to talk, hit this old guy up anytime you'd like. I have always got room for you. And I've full faith in you. You can do it! You definitely can." Gramps wasn't just supportive and sweet, he was a big help, his words made her more confident in herself. Every bulimia patient needs just that, when you're bulimic, you feel weak, it eats away at your soul, and you lose the confidence to fight it, like Tsun Zu said, knowing your enemy means half the battle has already been won. Therefore, if you are bulimic too, or have any problem, believe that you can win against any monster you face, the belief manifest into a victory in a way, unknown to you. After all, recovery is magical.

Food isn't the enemy, you can find solace in it, don't treat it like an outsider, like something that can harm you, look at it as something that you need to rejuvenate and something that can be the source of happiness. In this world, there is a balance that you can fine that will turn your relationship with food around, completely, you'll look back at the you who's struggling and wear glasses and get ready to lecture away, if the future you can do it, you can too! Don't give up, rest for a while, and go on. After all, no place worth going has a shortcut to it.

Leah got up to go, when Gramps suddenly realised that Ethan wasn't by her side, every single time for the past three months whenever she had an appointment or came to visit him, E would tag, he was curious and couldn't help asking, "Where's Ethan? How come he didn't come today?" Leah only smiled a little at the thought of where E must be right now and said, "I don't know if he'll ever accompany me again." When Leah said this, all of last night's drama was gnawing at her, she realised what she'd done, she'd told E that she was scared of him, she didn't want to think about how much she'd hurt him by those words, her wounds that he'd left were too much already, putting herself in his shoes was a little too-too much. After explanations, she hated it if someone didn't understand her, she wasn't used to explaining either, Linda had never asked her why she didn't hang out with the Girl Gangs, even on the food festival, she decided to help out the boys who were serving lemonade, the soccer team, obviously, and the lemonade turned out to be super fresh, and their stall was the one that ran out of stock the fastest. The stall next to them had messed up with their chilli ingredients, and it was a sweet treat to the soccer team. That day, she'd felt so full, she didn't have to wear any fancy stuff or compete about clothes or who'd made what, or done what. They'd dumped water on each other, and worked in such a fun environment that even though her hands were burning because of squirting lemons all day long, the pain was suppressed by loud, unchecked laughter.

Before Leah knew it, finals week was here, they were slaving away and sleeping four hours a day, running back and forth, forgetting meals, after their finals were over, someone decided to host a party at a restaurant, Leah didn't want to go, she'd done her best to avoid Ethan but Ethan had asked her to come.

Ethan? You must be wondering, what? How were they on talking terms already? What about the hate, the wounds, am I delusional? No, they were good actors. You'll be mind blown. Oh, also, remember, Head Girl and Head Boy!

Leah staggered out of her English exam classroom, it went beautiful, it was so fulfilling to finish exams on an English paper, it was fulfilling and rather than memorising facts, or words, she could just write, she loved doing that, and she'd started again. She was smiling contently to herself, when Ethan who hadn't crossed her path, not even once the whole finals week, popped out of nowhere, she kept calm even though her stomach was in a knot, why did it hurt to see someone that she'd loved just a week before so much?

"Ash is telling everyone that he's buying food for us, before summer starts, this is the farewell party, kind of, at least, and as the Head Boy, and Head Girl, he wants us both to attend." Leah was surprised at his tone, but the surprise turned into shock as soon as he opened his mouth next, "Make it, anyhow." his tone was harsh, really harsh, and pain emanated from his words in a heartbreaking way. She didn't say anything, though she wanted to, "I'm sorry about that night. Please don't be mad. This is why I said what I did..." she couldn't though, if she let Ethan have his way, he'd never respect her. She didn't repeat herself before that day either, but then she realised, treat yourself the way you want to be treated by others, if you don't love yourself, how can you expect someone to? Leah ran into Shawn near the entrance of the restaurant, Ash had booked the whole damn restaurant, and Leah realised that everyone, literally everyone was here. "Wow!" she thought to herself. "Hey," Shawn began, awkward as hell, as if he were meeting her for the first time, on a blind date, "I'm sorry about the other day, I hope you didn't get hurt." He was more than polite though, "Yeah, I'm fine. Totally fine." She smiled at him, and excused herself, as she walked towards Linda, things were finally looking up. After their reconciliation, they'd talked all night, and caught up on what they were up to, Linda was interested in a guy, she'd started to like Chemistry because of him, and a lot of other things. Normal high school things. She didn't like using social media anymore, she felt that it was a little too distracting, she wanted to live in the present moment with her sister, her beloved twin and Linda had cried and confessed that she'd been forced to spill her guts to Mindy, she'd told Mindy about Leah's bulimia, at first, Leah's heart had felt heavy. She'd gotten nervous, and she'd cried a little, but then she realised that it didn't matter, if someone wanted to make fun of her pain, let them, she'd already accepted it and was ready to deal with it. She'd wondered if the party was going to be about her bulimia, whether Mindy would take this chance to expose her so called 'secret', which, by the way, she wasn't planning on keeping a secret anymore, she wanted to help herself and find a way to help others. Little did Leah know that she would face a blow, but not in so small a setting, her fall from the title would be decadent and pompous. Just like Mindy wanted.

But would a fall be enough to make Leah stick her tail in between her legs, and run away, or was she going to be all the more up for the challenge of rising again.