BlackRikudo

Intro: all my life I felt like an outcast because of the way I look, the ideology I possessed, and the things I been through. I feel like everyday is a fight in a never ending war, whether it’s to survive or get the will to want to survive. For everyone fighting, understand you will never be fighting alone. I left a lot out for personal reasons that I might add but my goal was to shed some light on mental health, I also always wanted to be an anime character cause growing up and watching them go through so much and still have the strength to fight inspired and motivated me to do the same but a lot of them didn’t show the emotional trauma that comes from all of those fights that you win or lose and so this is about how I’ve been fighting mental health. I also want to point out that I didn’t overcome these battles alone, I had help but I didn’t mention it a lot because I felt alone, and to put it into perspective of those who are actually alone, and sorry I’m bad at story telling, I’m still figuring everything out just like avante is.

DetriMental

I often wondered why I had an outrageous plan for outrageous scenarios that often seemed highly improbable and why I always seemed on guard for some reason. Or why I was expected any and everyone to betray me and to prepare for it at all times. Like I was never safe and couldn't relax no matter where I am. Then my chest would feel heavy and I could feel my my heartbeat more than regular, it felt like no matter how much I breathe that I wasn't breathing enough and it took a long time for me to understand why that was the case, I didn't realize how deep mental health can go and the side effects that come with it, at first I just thought i was weird and born like that and I wouldn't have ever thought otherwise had I not educated myself. 


Hyper vigilance: what if the school catch on fire and the exit gets blocked, how would you escape from the 3rd floor? 


Anxiety: exactly, you might not survive jumping from this height you should be worried about how you'll get out safely.


Hyper vigilance: what if a school shooter comes in here? You aren't physically capable of stopping an adult no matter how much anime you watch.


Anxiety: yeah you should be very worried, you'll likely get shot again if you can't flee in time.


Overthinking: think of every possible situation that can occur and then think of every solution that'll result in you surviving, and remember to do this at all times of day no matter where you are or what time it is. Yeah we're pushovers individually but you about to get jumped goofy.


Avante: y'all worst than the ginyu force to be real


The 4 of them: you really got jokes for everything huh, well let's see how long that lasts, you know there's more of us right? And you're not goku lmfao let's see how much fight you got in you, we only get worse over time, you'll get tired eventually.


Avante: even if I'm tired I'll keep fighting


The 4 of them: you'll get tired of fighting too just give it time and more problems show up, unlike ptsd, you're actually stuck with us for the rest of your life.


Avante: you done talking? And I thought I was an attention seeker... 


the 4 of them: we will see who's laughing last, you can barely manage to fight all of us, it'll get way worst by the time you get to middle school, highschool is going to eat you alive.


Avante vs hyper vigilance and anxiety: first encounter