Chapter Five

I'm actually having an eye-to-eye competition with my brother. He was looking at me with guilt and shock. While I'm looking at him with full of confusion and surprise. Who won't be surprised seeing your brother smoking cigarettes?

"I-i..." He can even speak properly. I move backward when I smell the smoke, it could affect my lungs. I move 6 feet from him.

"Does the others know?" I can't help but ask that question, for me it's okay if he smokes or whatever but the problem is Adi almost bit him up when he finds out about him smoking cigarettes.

He looks down and sighs. "I'm sorry, but only Xyro and you know about this." He said. He gets something from his pocket, it was mint gum. He started chowing it. "You should be at class right now."

"Ms. Tina ask me to deliver something to Mrs. Kin," I said and he nodded. It doesn't matter if he likes smoking, I'm okay with it. I'm just worried about his health and if Adi finds out about this again. "I should go now," I said but before he could turn around I stop him.

"Yes?"

I think I should ask him about their argument. Even if it's already weeks ago. "Uhm... About that argument, you have like weeks ago... Is there something I need to know?" I ask.

His eyes widen in shock. "It's nothing important, Sis. Just something that... brothers do often."

I know he's lying and It made me mad, but I kept it inside me. "Brothers do?"

"Yes, so don't get involved in it. You know Adinnes will be freak out if you got involve in our fight. It's just our okay? don't step in." He smiles trying to make me feel better but I didn't buy it.

Adinnes is Adi's full name. We just call him Adi.

I let out a sigh, I know he'll never tell me. They never will. Why did I even bother to ask him?

"I'll get going."

He nodded and said, "Take care." I turn around and walk away, while walking away I saw his reflection in the glass window, he was looking at me. But I didn't mind him.

I want to shout in frustration because of Zeyt. But didn't let out a single word. If someone saw me, I'm sure they're gonna think I'm crazy. So, I just breathe.

Inhale, exhale, Inhale, Exhale. I was doing that until I got my foot inside the gym.

They are still playing volleyball, I told Ms. Tina that I already delivered the envelope to Mrs. Kin. She thank me and told me to just sit and observe my classmate playing.

While sitting in the corner, I can't help but worry about Zeyt. How long has he been smoking? I thought Adi already stop him, but... Zeyt is not Zeyt if he's not hard-headed. I remember that time when I was eleven I think.

He comes home drunk and he totally smells like cigarettes and alcohol. I don't know what's the reason why he's drunk or something. Adi was in beast mode at that moment, he was shouting right into Zeyt's face. Adi was an inch close to punching him but it's a good thing he didn't. I really wanna stop them, Liv and Xyro didn't let me.

Our parents left us, Adi was twenty-one, Zeyt was sixteen, Xyro was Fifteen, Liv was Fourteen and I was Ten.

I was so young... We... we are so young when we lost our parents. It was really hard for us to scoop up. Adi was busy with the business that he almost forgot how to sleeps. Zeyt, was out every time drinking even he was only fifteen. Xyro seldom going outside, he stays inside his room twenty-four hours. Liv always playing basketball it's either with his friends or by himself, we have a basketball court outside and Dad was the first person Liv played with. They were buddies in sports.

While me? It was so damn hard for me. I remember the last time I saw mom and dad. They were ready to go to their work, I kiss and hug them both goodbye. Then all of a sudden, I just received news that they are gone. Their car crash.

It broke every piece of me, I was only ten. I was ten when I lost my parents. I don't know how many days I didn't eat, I skipped school for weeks. The only thing I did was cry and beg God that this was only a dream, a nightmare. and I badly want to wake up. but no... this is reality.

No matter how hard it is, you need to accept reality.

"Hey, you okay?" I almost jump when someone touches my shoulder. I look at my right side and saw Clark. He was sitting beside me... I'm here at the library.

I was lost in my busy thought that I didn't realize, P.E. class was over and I went here to the library and just continue thinking about my horrible past. God, I didn't even notice Clark's presence.

I smile and nodded, "Yeah, I'm okay. I'm just... you know... thinking about... life." It's true though. "What are doing here?"

He chuckled and show me his geometry book, making me feel really damn. Of course, he's here to study, Amae! Why would you ask that stupid question?

"You don't feel good?"

"Nah, I'm fine."

"You don't mind if... I sit beside you right?" He said preventing an awkward silence. I nodded and read the book. I already considered, Clark and Cherry my new friends so it's okay.

While reading my biology journal and taking notes I notice Clark keep glancing at me with what I found kinda weird. So I ask him, "Is anything bothering you on my face?"

He froze for a second and look at me shaking his head. "I was just thinking why aren't you at class right now."

My mouth formed an 'O' shape. "Mr. Geller is sick so we're free," I said, I wasn't lying. Mr. Geller is really sick so he suspends our class but this is only today. Next time I think he'll just give us a worksheet to answer. "And you?"

"I skipped class." He said making me shook. What? he skipped classes? what if someone finds out about this? I'm sure he'll be in trouble. "But don't worry, it's just Math class." He smirks as if it's just fine with him.

I never skipped classes before. Never in my life! And I promise to god I would never do it. Once my brother knows about it, I'll be dead. It's better if I just kill myself.

"Skipping classes and a crime at school, Clark. You know the roles." I whispered. I can't let someone hear us, I don't want Clark in trouble his just new here.

He chuckles and looks at his book. "You see, doing something bad or breaking the rules isn't that bad. As if I'll be doing this all the time. You know, sometimes doing bad feels good." He said and finally look at me. "It doesn't matter if we made bad things, We're humans. It's normal. It's not like we're supposed to be perfect. Cuz on my eyes no one is perfect, Everyone is just their way."

That left me thinking. Yeah, no one or not even a single thing in this world is perfect. We're here in this world not to do perfect things but to be our self.