Chapter 6

2015. 10. 08

We got back together. We didn't ask each other what was happening and all. We just got together. Just like that. Masha and Kate told Amy to tell us about why they were talking in secret. Amy didn't tell me that she is saying this because Masha and Kate asked her to. I understood because I saw three of them nodding to each other. I may have read the situation wrong. But what confirmed was that they left as soon as they nodded and shared glances to each other. It said that they had set up the stage. "I got to know why Masha and Kate were talking in secret." Amy told me. I pretended not to be bothered but deep down I wanted to know every detail she had to say. "Okay, say quickly before they come." My other team mate who was with me the whole time was very curious about what was going on. I watched both of them. Amy said half-truth and half- lie. You could tell to if you focus on her tone and body language and how her head turns. I have been with her for more than 2 years, which makes it easy to read her mind. My friend just believed everything and was pitying Kate. Amy started her narration "Kate and that boy in the stargram started dating. She was afraid that Anna will be mad so they didn't want to tell you both." (First- I was nit her parent. Second- I never liked that boy. Third- I am not her relative. Fourth- I am just her friend that will not tell her parents about the affair. So for what exactly should I be mad for? Whatever). She continued. "He was cheating on her and we later found out that he is a playboy." "How did you investigate on him?" I asked. She hesitated and said "Her guy-friend and… oh also Sara too." Sara. I forgot about her. I quickly turned to see her. She was watching and rapidly turned her head when I turned. She was also watching out for them. How come she get to know unless you talk around and you got to talk to the boys specially to know about a guy well. Am I wrong?

Kate and Masha came in after a while. I was watching. Because I was not believing this whole drama. And I never asked. I had no courage to question. I was bit lonely. I wanted friends to laugh with. So I kept to myself. "Why didn't you tell me? He must have hurt you very bad. I am so sorry that I hurt you." My friend was all over Kate. I just gave a pitiful smile only. They were talking in the corner and Kate's voice was a bit shaky. She was heartbroken for sure. She wasn't faking it. I wasn't listening. I turned because the math teacher came in and I wanted to do questions. "You didn't care. You was angry and didn't talk to me. Why?" Kate asked. She replied, "I was mad that you were with Masha and Amy and other two. You barely talked to me. I was hurt. So I became friends with Anna just make you jealous." I heard it clear 'JUST'. That is why she treated me and my old school friend different. (We sat together in the tuition math class and they travel in bus together because they live in the same neighborhood.) The word just rang inside me. She even asked me to buy her a birthday gift, when she barely said 'Happy Birthday'. I wanted to scream. Tear up my book. Grab her by her collar. "Madam, can I wash my face. I feel sleepy." "Sure, Anna." I dragged my broken heart down the stairs to the toilet. I checked every stall. It was empty. I started emptying my feelings too. I was watching me cry in the mirror. I didn't scream. I cried in silence. My collar became wet. "Isn't it stupid to cry for a friend? She was friend not a best friend. Don't be silly. We are friends. It was just a slip of word. She didn't mean it. She loves Kate more than me even though Kate doesn't. It doesn't hurt her right? So it can't hurt me to right? Right? I am going to be JUST fine. JUST fine." A girl came in to the washroom. I quickly turned the tap and splashed the water. Half of my shirt got wet. I didn't want anyone to know that I cried. Only the washroom mirror.

"Were you that sleepy?" My Math teacher asked me after being shocked at my soaked shirt. I winked and said "Yes, baby."

2015. 10. 22

"We have got news that a girl from our class had gone dating to the gardens." Mrs. Beth was talking in a hoarse voice. She was mad and disappointed at the same time. As you see it is prohibited dating in our school. We got to focus in our studies and building a good future and also we are immature at this age, so they are helping us to not to mess up our life. Everyone looked back and forth. The school had got to know. Madam stared at Masha and Sara. One of the classmates said in a disgust adult tone "Because of others our class reputation is in gutters." Madam hushed her "Keep that shut." I remained calm. This has nothing to do with me. I didn't care. I just sat there. Around the month March, I got to know from Sarah that the one who went to the gardens and got spotted was Kate and that guy. Madam had pretended to trap in her and Masha to get the truth out. And they confessed that it was Kate. Kate was given a warning and she had said that they had broke up and got to know that he was a playboy.

My dad is still at home. He haven't gone to the shop. By now I was sure he had quit his job. He told us that he is going to open a shop. Our own shop. Mom and dad were always out to find a place. I was taking care of my siblings. "Anna what shall we have tonight?" Yep it becomes midnight when they come home sometimes, so I make sure to cook something. I can cook mate! I am really good at it. Not great, good. "How about roasted chicken and tortilla with potato curry or Spaghetti with Bolognese sauce?" "Dad doesn't like Spaghetti and specially sauces." Engel replied. "Then Tortilla it is." "Gu yeah!" My little brother cheered on. He loves meat, specially beef and mutton.

I took the chicken that my mother had already cleaned and chopped into pieces. I kept them outside for it to unfreeze a little before I pop them into the microwave oven to fully defreeze. I started with the seasoning. I grinded garlic and ginger finely. I took dried chili, coriander seeds, mustard seeds, curry leaves, cinnamon, pepper cones and grinded them to powder. In a bowl I added both the grinded mixtures and added chili powder, salt and a little bit of turmeric making the paste. I boiled the chicken in water for 10 to 15 minutes. While making the chicken, my little siblings were mixing the dough for the tortilla. After the chicken was cooked slightly I drained them. I added the stock to the thick paste. I started to coat the hot chicken and put it into the oven. I started making the potato curry. I chopped the peeled potatoes into four each and boiled them. I added oil to a wok and fried the sliced onions, sliced green chili. After that I added chili pieces, salt and Maldives fish pieces. Add a little bit of water for it to cook further and let it evaporate before turning the stove off. We fried the tortillas and had our dinner.

Mom and dad came home around 1.45 a.m. They were exhausted. Mom didn't eat, she went straight to bed. I plated food for dad and watched him eat in silence. It was 2.30 a.m. I couldn't sleep. I remembered the teacher saying about Lily's past. She was a little kid and had ran away with her mother and elder brother. It was said that her mother ran away with her cousin brother while when she was still legally married to her father. Later on she had her new little sister. Some of my friends had even told me about the two sisters sometimes fight in the class saying that you from the other father. But I have never seen it with my own eyes nor heard with my own ears. I felt bad for her. I didn't know why? I just pitied her for her messed up life. (Even to till date Lily thinks that I am the one who spread about her family story and talking shit about her. It was one of the teachers in the school and people love to gossip. And know what my mother didn't want to tell me at the first place. Just after I told her that the girls in the class and the teachers told me, she said that is what she heard too. She even warned me not to talk about it with anyone because we do not know the truth.) It was around 3.15 when I fell asleep.

2015. 10. 23

I came to the math tuition class early enough. I marked my card at went upstairs for the class. Even though I was early there were plenty of students present already. I wonder at what time they come. I sat in the usual front row near the boys. It is not my fav spot. It is the spot I sit so that sir doesn't embarrass me. Two times when I sat in different places he said "Ah you are sitting there. I kept searching for you." It might seem harmless. But his tone is almost all the time is mockery. So at the end I sit the same place all the time. And also no one dares to sit there because it is reserved to me. No I didn't reserve it, it is just reserved for me. "Dang! Samuel has not come yet. Shall we give him a call?" A boy probably his friend was saying while watching me. I gave a poker face and took out a book to read. They rang him. "Where are you? You are missing the chance." I was freaking out. Please come in late. I don't want to get involved. This was the first time meeting boys who are not my cousins or nephew or my little brother.

The class was getting packed. The seat in front of me is also packed. I was in relief. I saw again that boy with dinosaur and skull t-shirts. He seemed to be a decent boy. I wanted to get other school exam papers, so I thought of getting it from him because he was a bit not intimidating I guess. After 10 min of class started, sir went downstairs. Samuel came at this time. There were plenty of space in front but he decided to sit in front of me. He squeezed in and sat. (We have long benches not separate chairs, they are made of wood. And they make your butt go numb.) He kept gazing in at my feet. It was uncomfortable. I know what you are going to say that he might have been gazing at the dirt on the floor. Anyways I just said "Freak!" and pulled my legs in. He was flustered and looked away. I later regretted it. I was rude. The class was over and I was standing at the end. Samuel came at last. There was enough of space for everyone to go, like everyone both boys and girls walked that way. But Mr. Samuel came closer to me and was about to knock my shoulder. But boy I have sis senses, I moved. "Idiot" I murmured under my breath.

I was loving all the attention that I was getting from the boys and girls. But it kind of became annoying. I always got stared at, which made it quite uncomfortable sometimes. And the girls either they hated me or they copied my dress codes. No I am not lying or boasting, it is true. Even sometimes my own classmates dress the way I do. Most of the time they don't pull it off. I tell you some examples. I was the one to wear boots for the first time. People were like that is outdated and cow-boy vibes. I anyways wore it because I loved vintage. I put on brown vintage boots with a floral dress. No I didn't wear a hat. My Math Sir teased me but I took it as a compliment and wore it more often with jeans too. After 3 months or 4 months one of my classmate bought white boots and another bought a brown one. Note that mine had spikes on it with a buckle but theirs didn't (I wasn't happy, I was slightly annoyed. I am not a fan of people imitating me.) The classmates with the white boots lifted her long dress in a dramatic way and said good bye. She barely says me good bye. She was just fishing for a compliment. So I gave her, "Nice boots there." She flashed her eyes and said "thank you." I shouldn't have said that. She would have been disappointed. And then there was another time where I wore coats as dresses. Every eyes was on me. That moment is precious. Even a class boy said nice dress. (I talk to him. He is a friend of mine.) And months later one of my classmate and a tuition girl had stitched from a tailor and were wearing. Like sigh! (That classmate who was copying my fashion, she is important in our story. She comes in my life in 2018).