Chapter 12

2016.07.06

As usual Samuel sat in front of me. He still looked my way and also at another girl. I can remember that Kate said that they had dated for a week or so. I felt bad that his mother is being over reactive. It is just a part of teenage age, having a crush. But moms do over react. Then again she does not need to make a fuss out of it. I could be wrong too. I really do want to tell Samuel "Can you stop having a crush on me. So that your mother would treat me shitty?" She is treating me shitty these days.

Lily had come to join the math class today. It kind of felt having a weigh on the shoulder. She sat with her friends in the tuition class. She was coughing loudly. And it was fake. Anyone could understand. The guys were turning and taking look at her. She was embarrassing us a lot. The boys were kind of making fun of her. I do not understand that cannot she see that all can tell she is faking it. Not even her friends tell her, maybe just for one. Suddenly she raised her voice and asked sir a question. It was cringing. I do know she can be herself but then again there should be discipline. Thank lord sir did not tease her. It was the first time someone talked loud in the class, you just simply raise your hand if you had a doubt and he would come right up to you and explain. That is how things work here. It was new and was cringing at the same time.

2016.07.08

It was English today. It is an easy subject for all of us. Usually we finish it in an hour if the paper is three hour. We all finished in a flash. We were signaling the whole class. Other classes were doing the papers still. I was near the wall. I turned to left and rested my back at the wall and was watching the whole auditorium. Samantha (Madam) came towards us and asked if we have finished so soon. She came to me and asked the same "Have you finished so soon?" I nodded and smiled in reply. Yes, I smiled. I am the villain right? We will confuse them as much as possible mate.

Mrs. Beth told us to turn or sleep on the desk. She does not want us to talk. I slept for good two hours. Mrs. Samantha is being very nice to us today after the last week incident. It was so fake. You could tell from her eyes. What is done is done. There is no going back unless you really are sorry and apologize.

Amy woke me up for interval. I shared my lunch with the team. "I asked Samuel about his mom." Kate started the conversation. We all became ears. Some even stopped eating. I was a bit nervous. I don't know why? "What did he say?" I acted as if I never cared and was eating like a hippo. "I first asked if he had a crush on you." I looked up and leaned back on the chair. "He would have said no." "Yes, I asked him the same question again and he said no again." "You are insane. It is obvious, he will deny." I replied looking at my lunch box and later at my friends. "After that?" Amy was impatient. Kate continued, "Afterwards a friend of his came and asked if he can join. Samuel said him to get lost. After that I said that his mother is crossing the line. He asked what? I then said that his mom is frowning, pointing at us and telling something to our class teacher. He said he does not know any of that sort. And I asked did something get caught of you and Anna. He said nothing got of us." "Us? Who is 'Us'? Did not you ask that?" I asked in sarcasm. "I do not know that is what he said." Kate replied with a smile. Masha was smiling and they kind of teased me. I was not happy. I just gave a full time poker face and went to Rihanna to update.

"It is obvious that he will tell that he does not have a crush on you. His ego is bigger than his crush." Rihanna replied after I told her about the incident. "So does he have or not?" "What?" "A crush on me. Did I fantasize all these? I feel embarrassed." I banged my head on the desk. Rihanna laughed. "I am sure he had a crush on you. He is just bluffing." Mrs. Samantha came in and said "Go back to your seats dear." She was kind of directing me. I ignored and talked to Rihanna for a good whole minute and left.

2016.07.09

Math time! I studied hard for math and I love math. It is one of my favorite subject. I was doing the paper and once I completed the first paper, I took the second paper and did half way and checked. There was a diagram missing. I checked the paper again to see if I have missed any of the pages and read the question again to confirm. The question was indeed missing. I was raising my hand to get the teacher's attention but they were busy gossiping and laughing. My class teacher was not present in the exam hall too. I looked around and stood up. Still there was no reaction. I walked towards the stage and got on. Out of nowhere Mrs. Samantha came in and placed a hand around my waist and asked "What is wrong dear?" I panicked a little and replied in a small voice, "There should be a diagram here and it is missing." "Let me check the other papers first and see if there is a print error." She replied and released her arm from my waist and went to the papers. There has been an error in the papers. They had forgot to include the diagram. She told me to back to the seat and she will call in the math teacher. Some of the girls were giving off hints and smiles at me. I was like get lost dude!

In the interval they were talking about Samantha's hand around my waist. I was not annoyed to my surprise. I was just not interested at all. Finally the math paper was finished and there is just two more subjects to go.

2016.07.21

Exams are over. I came in 10th. A little improvement in the position but not in the subject marks. Teachers and deputy principals are evaluating our marks and predicting who will get good results for the school in the final National Exam. I was below average according to my English teacher, Mrs. Samantha (who has never taught us any subjects), Mrs. Marianna (I am not sure. She is a tough person to read sometimes) and then comes in the rest of the teachers who know me. My geography and history teacher knew that I will ace in their subjects but not sure if they thought that I will get good results in the final National exam. Oh! I forgot someone, the one who never believed in me and taught poorly; my religion teacher. She only had faith in certain kids and never liked me. I barely existed for her. I do not understand what she teaches me and I did not dare to say because all others said she taught well. No, she taught horribly.

My class teacher, Mrs. Beth believed in me and wrote my name in. Some were shocked, some did not wanted me to pass high as them, and some prayed I shouldn't pass in the exam (Lily) and some of them believed in me blindly. I was never bothered what others thought about me. I was cooked up in my own small world. And I liked here. I do not want to run farther and further away.

Mrs. Marinna was teaching us literature and after a while sat down and asked about our marks and our passes, and also what we expect to have in the final National exams. I boosted saying that I will ace so high that it will be hard to catch me up. She kept asking me am I sure about it? I replied with a simple 'Yes'. I might not ace that high but at least I will land in the moon. Stars are further away than moon scientifically.

2016.08.07

We were having blood donation campaign in the school. We were free too today. So I and Rihanna went to just check it out. We wanted to donate but we didn't have our Identity Cards with us. And the campaign is only for a day. Even some of the relatives and close friends of school students took part in the donation. One of the senior prefects approached us and asked why we were here. Usually you get scolded for roaming around the school, we have to stay in the classrooms all the time when we are free. No, not even the school playground. We replied honestly, "Sis we just came to see how they are donating blood. And we are free now and next two periods." She didn't get mad and asked our help to hand over milk packets and bun for the donors and the teachers who come in. "Dear, first give to those two teachers who are standing there and the parents and next the school students." I nodded and took the bun and Rihanna took the milk packets, we turned. I sighed, the teachers were Mrs. Samantha and someone. They were talking and when we were approaching them they split and went to their works. Mrs. Samantha came towards us and the other teacher sat there at the table. "Good afternoon madam, we were asked to give milk packets and buns." I said in a naïve voice. "No, I will have it later." she replied. Next we went to the other teacher and handed over the goodies and she thanked us with a smile. Rihanna nudged me. I turned to my left. I saw my classmates too giving out goodies, Mrs. Samantha took from them with a smile and a pat on their heads. Those classmates are favorite of many teachers, because they spoke better English than us. You might say that she took the goodies after a mind change. No, she said no thanks in a poker face and not even a minute had passed when she accepted the goodies from my classmates. She just hated me every bit of me. It hurt. It hurt a lot. The milk box was becoming heavier. "Do not bother. She is a b****. Not a teacher. If you had done any fault, then she can be mad. Her son is the one who flirted first. Not you and you never flirted back. She should have taught her son well in her first place. And after all she is in the child psychology society. My foot!" I smiled at her tilting my head. And gave a half hug with the box in the other hand. "Let us go and have a juice in the canteen." I suggested. We went to the senior prefect sister and told that we are leaving and there is already two girls there to help her and thanked her. She handed two milk packets and two buns in return. I will be honest with you. It really hurt. The way she treated me. I did not do any fault. It is just feelings. I cannot stab my heart not to feel anything. I do look cold from outside, I do agree with it. Have you sat with me for hours and talked to me? Have you seen my smile with one dimple? Is it wrong to be beautiful? Is it wrong to want to be loved? Is it wrong to want to be included in all our conversations? Is it wrong to not to want to be an outcast?