Chapter 33

2017.08.18

I was sleeping the whole day with my head on the table. It is an everyday cycle when you are in the Advanced Level in my school. We barely studied. We just copied notes only. If Mrs. Beth was present she would have taught us. Sally and Zarina were absent today. They are my new two friends. Yes, I am starting over again. I mentioned Zarina in chapter six as one of the girls who copy my fashion. Yep, that is her. I do not know if we are going to have a healthy friendship because she comes from a more not great background. I did not want to judge her by it so I gave her a chance to be a friend. I opened my eyes while keeping my head on the table. I left a small pop of gas out. It had no sound luckily. Thank god! God! Holy grace it stinks like I am in the sewer. I listened to who was in the class. I got up slowly. Seven of my classmates and five of my old classmates from Arts class were in a circle, talking about boys. Some were on the desk and some standing and leaning in to hear each other's whispers. Why were they whispering? Before they notice me and my scent, I slowly opened the windows and waved my hand for the smell to go out. I stopped when I saw a head turning. I casually grabbed my water bottle praying, 'Do not smell it! Please!' I looked at them with an 'I do not give a damn' look and sipped from my bottle. They quickly changed their topic to their weekend stories. I was confused. Did they smell it?

I went back to sleep. My ears were awake though. One of them asked, "Is she asleep?" I heard light footsteps coming towards me and then going back. "Yes" the voice of the girl who approached me replied. And they went back to talking about boys once of she confirmed them that I was sleeping. I clenched my hands. Why is no one talking about boys with me? I like to talk and know about them too. My heart started beating fast. My hands started burning as if they were on fire. I took my hands placed on my ears covering them from their conversations. If they do not want me to know about boys or if they hate me eavesdropping on their conversations, I do not want to hear any of it. Any of it.

Daniel messaged me. I always cut off him in every conversations he made. I started to like him. It all started when Zarina pointed out that he had a crush on me. She told me stories of him which made my heart beat for him. I was head over heels. This was slightly different from what I had over Samuel. Daniel was younger than me for about eight months. But he made it up with his height. He was nearly six feet tall and I was only five feet and two inches tall. I giggled when I saw his message. It read, 'Can I have a conversation with you?' He was trying and I cut him off and he asked me directly without beating around the bush which was charming about it. He had messaged me about an hour ago. My heart dropped. Dang it! Anyways I messaged him. 'Is it too late now?' He messaged in a flash. 'Not at all.'

2025.05.20

I opened my cabinets. We were running out of groceries. I took out a paper and wrote everything that we want and thought of making a home dish for my in-laws. It had been days I had gone put from the rumors and accusations. I should not shut myself out like this just because of stupid people keep repeating the useless lies. I took out the cloth bags from the store room so that my house will not be filled with plastic bags.

I put on a cap and a pair of sunglasses. I did not bother to wear a mask. Anyone could recognize me because of my skin color. There are not much tourists these days. I did not want to hide anymore. I am starting to get used to the media now.

I reached to the market that is in my local. I pulled a shopping basket out and started to go to through the list that I wrote in the morning. I could feel stares on my back. Some were just stares on a foreigner and others were recognition. Many old aunties really do not know my husband so they are treat me as they treat all other human beings.

I went to the third aisle to get some pasta and noodles. Dongmin loves my Bolognese Spaghetti. I was going through the brands to get my favorite. I heard a small talk. I lifted my head and saw to my right. I saw a jacket that belonged to a young girl. She peeped and one of her friend pulled her along with her. They came at me. In an instant with no doubt I knew it was Dongmin's fans. The three girls made a semi-circle around me. I ignored and went back to the spaghetti row and picked one. "You are Dongmin Oppa's wife right?" I looked down at them. They were in their school uniform. "Why are you skipping school?" I questioned them. "Do not try to avoid my question. You are Dongmin Oppa's wife. Yeah you are." "Are you not being rude…" I checked her name tag and said her name "Miss. Rona Kim?" The short hair spoke next. "You do not deserve Dongmin. You are making him suffer. He is too good for you." "Are you not interfering in our private lives? Do you think Dongmin Oppa would be happy if he saw you talking to me in a very rude manner?" "You tricked Dongmin Oppa with your face and wealth." I calculated the situation. I bent to their level and spoke, "So what do you want me to do? Divorce him? And then what? Do you think that he would be happy? I do know that you are concerned about him. You want him to be happy because he makes you happy and gives you hope. But it should stop there. At the end you make him suffer not me." "Huh! We make him suffer? Because of us only he is being happy. You are trying to manipulate us too?" The one who pulled her friend talked at last. I smiled and told her in a calm tone. "Okay. Hope about we see it this way. There is a normal couple they have a small issue and they try to solve it by trusting each other. And one of you would interfere with it because that is their private life, it is disrespectful and it is against human rights. So do you not think that it would be nice to give us some space? We are the same person. Are we not? Would it not be hard for them if you keep monitoring them for twenty four/ seven?" The girl who spoke first said, "But Ajumma (Aunt in Korean language), Dongmin is getting backlash because of your bullying accusations." I straightened up, "What if the allegations were true and I come in clean and repent and be a new person will you accept me?" Their eyes went dark. "Huh! Do you think we would forgive? How can someone be a piece of ****?" "Are you not being one now? You are bullying me. Are you not? People deserve a second chance because some change and some do not. I have to leave I have to cook for Dongmin. And keep in mind that we are all people, we make mistakes and it is okay. It is matter of how you try to accept the fault and ask for forgiveness." I nodded and left. They were mad and shocked at what I said.

When I approached the counter, I heard a woman talk out loud. "That is why you should get married to a local woman. Her face should be burned with acid." I held my head straight. The cashier made his hands quick. He known me for more than a year. He said quietly, "Do not listen to them. People do make mistakes and that is okay. People should learn to be better." After he put the groceries in to my Cloth bag I bought. I turned towards to the woman and told her, "It is because you would not love the ugly him."

I came home. Dongmin will come at night. I put the groceries to their assigned places. Only a platic bottle remained. 'Strong Hydrochloric Acid' I took out the bottle and went to the bathroom. I closed the sink water hole. Tied my hair in a tight bun pulling my face skin backwards. And filled the sink with the acid to the brim. I add a few drops of food coloring to make it look pretty. I slowly placed my hand on the edges of the sink, looked at my flawless face and dipped my face into the pool of acid. I took my face out and watched my face on the mirror. It was full of smoke. I could see my eye balls. It burned. I could feel the acid seeping in to my skin. I screamed pulling strands of my hair from my scalp.

I opened my eyes only. It was a dream. I was not sweating like before. I have been having nightmares a lot these days. I stayed still. I could hear Dongmin sobbing. He was not trying to be loud. I slowly moved my head to see to what direction he was facing, he was facing away from me. He is having a hard time and it became unbearable since the accusations out. I slowly raised the blanket and got off the bed. I saw an empty space next to him. I slid into the blanket facing him. I held him. He sent his hands under my shirt to my waist and pulled me in even closer. He rested his head under my chin and breathed on to my chest. I felt his tears on my bare neck. I brushed my fingers through his hair without uttering a word. After a half an hour he finally slept. I kissed his forehead and gave a small peck on his lips and made a small circular motions on his cheeks. I took his hands from my waist and left him to rest.

I came in to the living room and switched only one light. I dialed Sally on my cellphone. "Hey, I am going to do live today. I cannot wait anymore. Can you give them a ring and get everything ready on tomorrow morning. Dongmin is not doing well. I cannot see him suffer anymore." On the other end she replied "It is almost done. I have talked with some of them and they said they will talk on your behalf .Be careful. Do as we practiced." "I will. Hope it goes as planned." "Should I get your lawyer notified too?" "I already dropped him a message. And he replied with a thumbs up hand." "Then okay. Good Luck!" I ended the call and sighed. I went back to the bedroom before Dongmin finds I am missing. I will not let them go. I will not.