23. Desire To Die

"What a meaningless life I live. Until only the will to die remains."

- Laura Chintya Bella

***

In the Dove High School canteen, which was filled with students eating their meals, there was Vikram who occupied one of the tables with Susan. Vikram, who was having fun eating warm meatballs, was interrupted by a vibration on his cell phone in his trouser pocket.

Vikram stops his activities. He put the fork back in the bowl and reached into his trouser pocket. Vikram's brow furrowed when he received a message from Laura. "Huh? Isn't this wrong, she messaged me first?"

"Message from whom, Vikram?" Susan observed Vikram who had a surprised expression on his face.

Vikram took his eyes off the phone to glance at Susan, who was sitting in front of him. "Message from Laura. I don't know what demon possessed, she suddenly became the first person to send me a message. Usually, I have to spam messages, so she can reply to my messages. Laura makes me unable to calm down because she never wants to send a message, so I know the situation."

Susan pursed her lips. She was always surprised by the facts about Laura and things related to the girl. "Hm… Judging by her demeanor, Laura is indeed the type of person who rarely replies to messages. With her taking the initiative, it looks like something urgent has happened and needs your help, Vikram."

Vikram agrees with Susan's exact words with reality. He pressed the incoming message that was exposed on his cell phone screen. Vikram's eyes rolled, reading the words on the message Laura sent.

- Laura The Crazy Girl

Vikram, bring a first aid kit to class now! Angsa's hand is bleeding! Hurry up!

Brack!

"Argh! What are you doing this time to get Angkasa affected, Laura?!" Vikram pounded the table while squealing stifled. He was so irritated by Laura's uncontrollable behavior. Fortunately, there was Angkasa who at least became the person he used to share the stress with in dealing with Laura's behavior.

Susan grimaced in embarrassment at being the center of attention from the students in the cafeteria. The noise caused by Vikram caught the attention of the students.

Susan asked in a low voice, "Vikram, what happened? Is there really something urgent?"

"A message from Laura. I don't know what demon possessed her, she suddenly became the first person to send me a message. Usually, I have to spam messages, so she can reply to my messages. Laura makes me unable to calm down because she never wants to send a message so that I don't know what's going on."

Vikram grits his teeth in annoyance. He looked around when he felt various gazes on him. Those who were watching Vikram immediately averted their eyes in panic because they were afraid of the horrible expression on Vikram's face.

Vikram got up from the chair, he looked at Susan, who seemed to have finished eating her food. "Susan, when you're done, come with me now!"

"Huh? O-okay!" Susan stood up in a hurry. She took a tissue to clean her mouth and drank the remaining juice in her glass until it was gone. Without asking much, Susan followed Vikram who rushed out of the cafeteria.

Vikram probably didn't realize that many girls were looking at him with loving eyes. The fact that Vikram is not aware of the girls liking him, shows that the guy is actually insensitive to the feelings of those around him. How can Vikram pay more attention to the feelings of those around him when he's so busy keeping Laura's figure? Well, actually that's understandable.

Susan shuddered as she felt a piercing gaze on her back. Without even turning around, Susan already knew that the stares were from girls who had feelings for Vikram and didn't like Susan being around Vikram.

Susan rubbed her arms to ease the goosebumps on her body. "Ugh… The jealousy of a person in love is terrifying!"

***

"There's not a day when I feel at ease after I'm around you, Laura. Can't you just one day… you don't cause trouble?!" Vikram vented his anger on Laura, who just rolled her eyes lazily while picking at her ears with her little finger. Laura's expression, which didn't seem to care the least about Vikram's words, made Vikram feel irritated.

"Vikram, stop being angry. Laura couldn't possibly have meant to cause trouble for you." Susan tried to calm Vikram who was drowning in his emotions.

Currently, Vikram, Susan, Laura, and Angkasa are in the same transportation, namely Vikram's car. Vikram is the one driving, while Laura and Angkasa are in the back seat of the car. Susan's presence in the car was because Vikram's previous offer to invite Susan to go and return with him had been approved by Laura.

Susan actually wanted to refuse Vikram's offer, but she couldn't express her reluctance because it was Laura who had saved her from being bullied. Therefore, like it or not, Susan became increasingly involved with Laura and Vikram.

Vikram snorted coldly, he could no longer hold back his annoyance at Laura's overbearing attitude. "Tsk, Susan, you don't know what kind of person Laura is. She's the only weirdo in my life!"

"I'm weird, you're weirder because you're friends with me," Laura quipped while casting a mocking glare at Vikram through the car's rearview mirror.

Vikram gritted his teeth. He accelerated the car to vent his anger. Susan, who was sitting next to Vikram, gripped the seatbelt tightly for fear of bouncing off the car.

"Vikram, don't speed! We're on the highway!" Susan screamed in terror. Her face looked deathly pale with cold sweat dripping down her forehead.

In the back seat of the car, Laura did not have any significant reaction when the car she was in was traveling at high speed. She put on a straight face, her eyes fixed on the car window, which showed the view outside that looked blurry from the speed of the car.

"Laura, are you scared?" Angkasa asked the question with great care. His two bandaged hands brought Laura's hand to his lap and gently wrapped it around him.

Laura's gaze was still fixed on the hazy landscape outside the car window, which only made the eyes feel dizzy if they were watched continuously. Her eyes looked empty, without any life. "I'm not afraid."

( "I even had time to think whether or not to crash this car so that an accident occurs, and I die?" ) Laura added her words silently without being able to express it openly. She didn't want to show how lacking passion for life was in her. This will only make people look at her with pitying eyes.

Laura preferred the people around her to look at her with contempt. All those ugly stares felt natural to her, at least. She also doesn't like it when someone looks at her with pity because it actually makes her feel humiliated. People thought that Laura was pathetic through the pitying looks they gave her, which made Laura feel irritated that all the stares were made up.

It's better for them to make fun of Laura openly, than to hide all the insults they want to throw through the pitying looks they give. This made Laura even more pitiful because there was only falsehood around her.