Her (3)/Chest: I am It

'Hey, how are you?', It asked.

'Hi, I'm doing fine', I answered.

'Sure about that?', It asked again.

'Why do you ask?', I asked instead.

'I'm just curious how you hide me a lot of times', It answered, not minding Its question left unanswered.

'What do you mean?', I wondered out loud.

'See, you don't even know me', It said.

'Then tell me', I got curious.

'I want you to acknowledge me', It started, 'I want you to not only hear me, I want you to own me.'

'Well, I would if I could', I sadly said.

'You could and always can', It said, I feel something between sadness and amusement.

'What do you want from me?', I asked.

'I have answered that', It answered.

Tears started to fill my eyes. Why is that?

'I have cried with you, a lot of times', It said again, 'You haven't notice how I feel so outcasted from you even when I'm always with you.'

The tears run down from my eyes. I feel cold all of a sudden. I feel bared.

'How can you say that?', I asked, an irritated tone heard, 'You could have come closer and pull me in, I would have felt you. I am so alone.'

'Hear that? You're wrong, you keep thinking you are alone when all the time, I'm always here, speaking to you', It said, 'I am beyond greatful you responded to this called now'.

'You want me to acknowledge you and I would, I promise', I said, 'Tell me, then, what do you want for me?'

'I want you to live', It said.

'I am living', I answered.

'You are not', It countered, 'You're merely breathing, it's not really called life.'

'Didn't I thought about that? I did', I said, 'Maybe, I thought I did.'

'You did and I agreed with you, I told you to chase your own happiness and for you to stop overthinking things beyond what you can handle, but you didn't heard me then, I spoke to you, you shut me out', It said.

I can feel the sadness from It's words.

I paused for some time and look up to the bright blue sky. The sun is blinding my eyes so I looked at the clouds instead, they're dancing with the wind and making random and abstract forms.

There were a lot of times I heard something but have chosen to put in mute mode. Now, it's different, I entertained it, hoping it would stop if I tell it so. But it's not how I expected it would be.

'Why do you want those from me and for me?', the words just came out of me.

'I will not always be here even when I said I am', It said.

I got confused for a while.

'The time you really acknowledged me and owned me is the time I am gone because we are one', It continued, 'I want to live, too, with you, not separately, of course', It added, 'The time we are one, is the time you have to share me with others, too'.

'Why would I share you when you are mine already? When we are one, I am you, and you are me', I said, 'You mean I share "me", is that right?'

'Yes', It said, 'Feel everything and learn from everything, you fear to be loved and to be cared of, you keep denying that you have built a thick wall for yourself to keep most things and people from entering, you keep on saying to learn from observation because you don't want to get hurt, you jest yourself with that, 'cause who are you kidding? You know pain is part of life, as well as fear and love,' It continued, 'I am a factor of all of that, I admit, because I want to push myself within you, deeper to your core, you have to understand that your life is not only yours, like all people's lives are not also there's alone,' It added, 'We are all made for each other, we are humans that have to feel everything from everyone and live, we are made to be interactive, that's why we have a mother, a father and strangers that  can turn to friends and acquaintances, we are made to speak, to think, to act and react, you are not an exception'.

I am crying, the tears continued to well from my eyes and run down my cheeks, some to my lips, it tasted sour, similar to this moment of truth, but needs to be accepted.

This voice inside me, I have accepted, along these thoughts within. The story within that It has been thriving.

©️07.01.2018