Chapter 2: Not Worth It

I looked at Alexander for just a few moments, as I saw the look in his eyes, as it typically was not a good look for me to see. Usually when I saw him like that, he was trying to come up with some sort of idea, that was usually a bad idea, that either got us in a lot of trouble, or potentially even worse than that, as it got us in a lot of danger.

I knew that life was short no matter what, and he was right when he said that we needed to live in to the fullest, but at the exact same time too, I also still felt like I did not want to die at a young age, and a lot of the plans that he had been coming up as of late, were for sure putting that to a test.

I shivered a little bit, as I dipped my head down to the ground at the exact same time too. What was I thinking? I had already fucked up my life enough as it was so far, and I had ruined any chance that I had at any sort of a future at this point, so maybe I should just be in with the idea that Alexander had come up with.

I was not quite sure as to why he had spoke to Zachary, rather than me about it first any ways. I thought that me and Alexander were best friends, and it kind of hurt that it seemed like he had gone to speak to another friend of ours about it, before he had decided that he was going to speak to me.

I left out a bit of a soft sigh at the exact same time too, as I already knew the answer to the question that I was asking my self at this very moment. I still had a bit of the genes of my parents in me, as I really could not help but to be worried about us, and what was going to happen, nearly every where that I went.

I was going to some how talk Alexander and Zachary out of the plan that they had come up with. I wondered what it was, or if it was just going to be some sort of surprise. I really did not like to be surprised at all, as it gave me a whole lot of anxiety building up to the point as to when I found out what it was that was the surprise.

I shook my head, as I lifted my head up at the exact same time too, as I then looked over at my friend, and I then squinted my eyes at him, as I was a bit suspicious of him, and him not wanting to tell me as to what it was that he had been planning with Zachary in the very first place, at the exact same time as well.

He knew that it gave me a lot of stress, and a lot of anxiety, and I had asked of him not to do as such. Normally he did do things that I asked him to do, so I was fairly certain that he was not hiding any thing too scary for me. Perhaps we might just be going to some amusement park, as it had been quite a while since I had been to one of those too.

I never spent any sort of time around my parents, after I had become the way that I was now. I wish that I could say that I was sad, and I felt a bit of grief, as well as the fact that I might feel like I had made a bit of a mistake, but that was just not how I felt any more, as I frankly could care less if I was going to be honest with my self.

Well... Maybe not amusements parks, but I knew that there was going to be a whole lot of parties that we were going to be going to. That was for sure some thing to be excited about, as I was always hyped up for a good New Years Eve party, as it signified a new year for all of us.

Normally, when you thought of a New Years resolution, you would think of it to be some thing that made you want to change some thing that was wrong with your life, but for me and Alexander, that was not the case at all, as we felt that there was nothing wrong with our life at this moment.

We usually used our New Years resolutions to talk about what all of the cool things that we were going to be doing in this upcoming year. I grinned a little bit, as I then blinked my eyes at the exact same time too, as I saw that Alexander had grinned at me as well, which for some reason had me quite a bit confused.

I tilted my head, to let him know that I was in fact confused as to what it was that he had found to be so funny at this very moment. I had not done any thing, nor had I cracked any sort of a joke at all either, so I was not all too sure as to what was going on with him at all, at this very moment in time.

He then took the strange smirk from off of his face, as he noticed that I had a bit of a confused look on my own face at the exact same time as well. He blinked a few times, as he then coughed a bit loud, as if he was trying to get the whole attention of the entire room on him, when really he was just simply trying to speak to me.

I rolled my eyes at my friend, as I knew that he was being quite a bit of an idiot at the same time too. I then took my eyes, and my ears on full focus on him at the same time as well, as I could tell that he was about to tell me some thing important, and I badly wanted to hear as to what it was that he had to say to me as well.

He seemed to stare at me for a little bit longer, as I was a little bit lost, as it had seemed like for just a second or so, that he had suddenly change his mind. Luckily that was not the case at all how ever, as he nodded to me, and I nodded back to him, as he began to speak to me a bit quietly, and I then listened as to what it was that he had to say to me at the same time too.

"Look, we are about to get out of here..." He said to me, as if he had just seemed to all of the sudden change the subject that we were on in the first place. I blinked a few times, as I then all of the sudden saw him pull out his Rolex watch that he had stolen from some old dude a while ago.

I blinked, as I shook off all of those thoughts at the same time as well, as I knew that there was no clock in this room that we were in right now for some reason, as if they were trying to torture the kids in here with them. I was not sure how long we had been in here, as I knew it had to be past lunch at the very least, but for all that I knew, it could be like 12:30.

Luckily, once again, that was not the case at all how ever, as I saw that the time was 2:27, and we simply had 3 more minutes until the bell was to ring. I stared at the watch for just a few moments, as it was quite a nice watch, and I was kind of jealous of my friend if I was not going to lie.

I could tell that he noticed that from me at the same time as well, as he rolled his eyes at me, and he then began to hide the watch under his long sleeve shirt that he was wearing at this very moment. Every one knew that he had stolen the watch, as he did not have a job to get an expensive watch such as that, but no one said any thing about it to him.

Every one at this point, knew not to fuck with my friend, nor me, as he was always quick to have my back. It was a lot of the reason that I did not like my father for telling my stuff such as 'you need to make better friends'. He was the only real friend I had, as I was friends with his other friends, but none of them were like him.

I shook my head at the same time as well, as I knew that I was getting a little bit too much in to my feelings at the exact same time too, and I needed to wake my self up. Things were going to be fine, and there was nothing for us to worry about, as we had each others backs until the end, which I knew that for a fact.

It brought up the point once again, as to him being my best friend, as back in middle school, there used to be a bunch of kids that bullied me, and messed around with me. Alexander caught them doing so one day, and he beat the hell out of all of them, all at the exact same time too.

Every one in school, and around the city, knew not to mess with him at this point. I was glad to have a friend as great as him, as I was not going to lie to my self, no matter what it was that people told me about him, I knew that I should not listen to them, as they did not know him like I did.

I blinked a few times, as I once again got my focus off of all of that, and I got my focus back on the present, and all that was going on around me at this very moment. I looked back up to my friend, as I saw that he had a bit of a grin on his face once again, but not at me, as I saw him turning his head all across the room that we were in, as if he was enjoying his time in here.

For some reason, it always seemed like he seemed to like being in here, even if he did not like the guy that worked in here at all. I was not sure as to how, as I hated to be in this room, as they took away all of our shit for one thing, and the other was they made us do a whole bunch of school work as well, which I felt like I did not care about.

My parents would not let me drop out, and for once, Alexander seemed to say a smart thing to me, as he told me that it was not a good idea to do as such, as we would at the very least, need a high school degree to get any thing basically in the nearby future of our lives as well.

I knew that he was right, as I felt like a bit of an idiot for even letting those thoughts go through my head in the very first place. I then got my focus back on to what it was that I had even been talking about with Alexander in the very first place, before I had got a bit side tracked in my thoughts.

Ah... That was right, we were talking about what it was that we were going to do on our bit of winter break that we had. I smiled a bit at those thoughts, as I locked eyes with Alexander at the exact same time too, as he finally seemed to get his focus off of the fact that he had been looking all across the room for some odd reason or another.

I was glad for it as well, as I felt like I wanted to make sure that I had his attention, so that I really knew as to what it was that he and Zachary had been planning with each other in the first place. I shivered at the thought that it might be some thing a bit bad, but I knew that it did not matter, as I then nodded to Alexander at the exact same time too, to make sure that he was ready for what it was that I was about to say to him as well.

Alexander blinked at me with quite a bit of a blank look on his face at the same time as well. I squinted my eyes at him, as I wondered if he really was in tune with what was going on. Finally how ever, Alexander did in fact nod back to me, as I then felt like it was now safe for me to speak to him, which I did in fact do as such.

"So... Are you going to at least tell me as to what it is that you have planned with him? I told you that I do not like to have surprises... I hate having anxiety..." I said to him, as I kept my eyes squinted on him for just a little bit longer, so that I was able to make sure that he had heard as to what it was that I had said to him just now.

He stared at me for a little bit longer, as he seemed to hold a bit of a blank look on his face for quite a bit longer as well, as it did not seem like he did want to tell me as to what it was, as it seemed like he wanted to keep it as a secret for some odd reason or another. I began to get a little bit freaked out at the same time as well, as I began to move around in my chair, in quite a bit of some fright at the same time too.

I was not sure as to what it was that he might have in plan at this moment, and I was kind of a bit afraid as to what it was that it might be, due to the fact that he seemed to always come up with the worst ideas, that got us in to a lot of trouble, not just from people, but from ourselves at the same time too.

I knew that at this point in my life, I should not be all that worried about it, but at the same time too, I still felt like I could not help it, as I felt like I could hear my fathers harsh words in my ear at the same time too, and that I could see the disappointed look that I usually saw on the face of my mother when we brought up the fact that I was such a big failure, and a disgrace to the family name too.

My father was a lawyer, just like his own father had been. Just like my own father too, I was the only child, and he had raised me in the hopes that I would carry the torch that he had from his father, on the fact that he had always wanted me to be a lawyer just like he was.

Even if I did do good in school, I still felt like I did not want to be a lawyer at all, as that shit seemed to bore me to tears. I let out a bit of a soft sigh to my self at the exact same time too, once again, as not for the first time in the last few minutes, I once again did my best to shake off all of those thoughts, as I looked right back at Alexander.

I saw that just like earlier, he had a bit of a grin on his face once again, and I was starting to get a bit of deja vu, as I wondered if all of this was going in a bit of a repeat cycle. How ever, that theory that had been roaming through my head for just a few seconds, did not seem to last long, as I suddenly heard the bell, that notified that the school day was over, begin to ring.

I then remembered at the same time too, that Alexander had shown me his nice Rolex watch, to tell me that we had been just 3 minutes away from this long ass semester being over. I grinned a bit to my self, as I once again locked eyes with Alexander, as I saw him begin to lift him self up from off of the chair that he was sitting on, as he was getting ready to get out of this room that we had been stuck in all day.

I tilted my head at Alexander, as I was a little bit confused as to why he still had not answered the question that I had just asked him not too long before now. I saw him begin to head over to the door, but he stopped him self, as he then noticed that I was not following his trail right behind him as well.

He turned his head to me, as he then stopped him self, and he let all of the others that had been in the room with us, go past them. I saw a lot of them seemed to be quite a bit worn out, as it was cleat that not only had they just woken up, but also the fact that a lot of them still had hang overs too.

I shook my head a little bit, as I knew that I did not need to have my focus on them at all, at this exact moment in time, as I stared back at my friend that was standing still in the middle of the room, letting all of the others pass him. I was still a little bit lost, as I was not so sure as to what was up with him.

It seemed to be to me, that there was some thing that he seemed to not be telling me. Perhaps that might be some thing to do with what it was that he had been planning on doing with Zachary, and that was why he was not telling me as to what it was just yet, as he was not as worried as to the fact that it gave me a bit of anxiety, rather than the fact that I might just shut in down right as soon as he told me it.

I tilted my head at him just a bit, as I stared right in to his eyes for just a little bit longer at the exact same time as well too, as finally, he let out quite a heavy sigh, as he then nodded to me. I did not nod back to him how ever, as I instead squinted my eyes at him. He shook his head, as he knew not to let it bother him at all, as he then finally began to speak to me, and I listened to what it was that he had to say to me in the very first place too.

"Look... We will talk about it out side with Zachary once we are out there... We just need to keep it a secret between us for now alright?" He said to me, as I knew that he meant 'a secret between us', as not at me, but just a secret that he clearly had with him and Zachary, as it was clear that for some odd reason or another, he did not seem to want other people to find out about this.

I let out quite a loud sigh all at once, as I moved back a little bit from the chair that I was in. I did not get up from the chair how ever, as I felt like this was some thing that I really did not want to find out about at all, as I was quite sure that I was going to say no, as I did not want to be in on what ever it was that might be them pushing it a bit too far past the boundaries.

I just wanted to stay here for just a little bit longer, as I still felt like I did not want to find out what it was. What ever it was, I was fairly certain that my girl friend, Marion, was not going to be in on it at all, and that she was going to try to tell me not to do it, such as she usually did with quite a lot of things that Alexander came up with.

We had been dating for quite a while, and I knew that she did not like Alexander all that much, but she did not seem to want to try to stop us from being friends thankfully, like it seemed to be that a lot of others tried to do. They did not want Alexander to have any friends at all as it seemed to be.

She had helped me through a lot though how ever, and I loved her so very much as well. If she told me that it was not a good idea, and she talked me out of it, I might very well listen. At the same time as well how ever, I felt like that might be a little bit hard for her, as I did have quite a bit of a rebellious nature.

It kind of put a bit of a smirk on my face at the same time as well, as I remembered that me and Alexander always played that song by Juice WRLD, whilst we were flying down the road of our city. I singed the lyrics in my head at the same time too, 'I got rebel in my blood'.

I sighed, as I shook off those thoughts at the same time as well, as it also brought up some quite dark thoughts on some of the things that Alexander had been saying to me as of late, such as, 'I hope to end up like Juice some day'. I was not sure if he meant that in the fact that he wanted to be in hell, or if he meant it on the fact that he wanted to die the way that he had.

I shook off all of those thoughts all at once, as I suddenly head another voice from the other side of them room, as he began to speak up to the both of us at the exact same time as well. I turned my head over to see who it was, as I was a bit lost on what was going on, and why there was still some one with us in the room, as I had seen every one go out a while ago.

I blinked a few times, as I then saw that it was just the teacher that was in here, that had always tried to speak to me on a lot of stuff nearly every time that I seemed to come in here. I sighed a bit at the same time too, as I rolled my eyes as well, as I then listened as to what it was that he had to say to the both of us all at once too.

"Alright you 2... You can get out of here now... Enjoy your winter break you idiots..." He said to us, as I saw him roll his eyes back at me. I blinked a few times, as I was not sure if he had seen me do so, and that was his response to me, or if he just was rolling his eyes at us, due to the fact that he actually thought of us as idiots.

Either way, I felt like I should not care at all about it, at the exact same time as well, as I then saw him turn his head back to his computer, as it seemed like he was going to go back to the fact that he was pretending to be doing some thing on his computer. I blinked a few times, as I wondered if he actually thought that the kids on her believed that he was actually doing some thing on there.

I shook my head though, as I figured that I should not be all that worried about it at the same time as well, as I then all of the sudden turned my head back to Alexander, who I saw was still standing in the exact same spot that I had just seen him in a few moments before now.

He rolled his eyes back at the teacher at the same time too, as he then put his fingers to his nose, and he made a bit of a silly and, childish look on his face, as he looked at him for just a little bit longer. I knew that the teacher had not noticed it at all, as his eyes were locked on the screen that was in front of him, and even if he might have, I was not sure if he even would have cared at all in the very first place.

I sighed a bit, as I shook off all of those thoughts at the same time as well, as I saw Alexander finally take that goofy look from off of his face, as I now saw that he had a much more serious look on there. I blinked a few times, as I got my self to be a bit serious at the exact same time as well, as I was not so sure as to what was going on.

Alexander did not say a word to me at all through all of this, as he instead, as I saw, just nodded to me, as it was clear that he wanted to me to follow him out of the room, such as the teacher had told us to do in the first place. I sighed just a bit, as I got up from the chair that I had been sitting on all day, and I then began to follow him out.

I saw him turn to the right corner of the room to my surprise at the same time too, as we normally went down the left side, as we took the bus back home. I blinked a few times, as I felt like I should not be all that surprised how ever, as I knew that he had told me that we were going to go and talk to Zachary now, to explain what it was that they were planning on doing.

Zachary had his own car, as he was a bit spoiled, as I was not going to lie, though I did not say it to him, as his parents were very rich, and got him what seemed to be a new car every year since Freshman year. I shook my head though, as I felt like I did not need to have those sorts of thoughts in my head at the moment, as I was more just worried as to what it was that was their plan in the first place.

I let out a bit of a soft sigh to my self, as I then spotted Alexander not too far ahead of me, as he was going down the not so crowded hall way, that led to the very crowded hall way, which went to the front of the school. I quickly sped up at the same time as well, as I did my best to catch up to my friend.

He did not even turn his head to me, as he heard my foot steps from behind him, as I caught up to him, and began to share the exact same walking speed as he did. I looked at my friend waiting for some sort of smart comment at the same time too, but no my surprise, for once, he did not seem to want to do so at all.

I blinked a few times, as I did not feel any worried about it at all, as I was more glad by it in fact, as we kept on going down the hall way in a bit of silence, as I could see, and I could hear the loud crowd of people that were up at the front of the school, at the exact same time as well.

It was a bit silent as to where we were walking at this very moment, which was a lot of the reason as to why I got quite a bit scared, as I then heard the voice of some one speaking right up next to us, as the both of us then stopped ourselves, to hear what it was that she had to say.

I turned my head over, to see who it was in the first place, as I saw that it was the very old janitor lady, that worked in this school. I blinked a few times at the same time as well, as I shook off all of the those thoughts all at once, as I then listened as to what it was that she had to say to the both of us in the first place.

"You 2 don't be causing any sort of trouble now!" She said to us, which was a bit normal as to what it was that she had said, as every one knew the both of us through out the school, as he was always the big and cool kid, and I was more of his nerdy side kick, though I really did not look like a nerd at all how ever.

I blinked a few times, as it was not really the fact of what it was that she had said that bothered me all that much, as I did not know the name of the lady at all, but I had in fact seen her through out the school several times, and she kind of freaked me out at the same time too, as to the tact that her entire left side of her face was one big grey scar.

Alexander viewed it as kind of cool to him, but I was just the opposite of that how ever, as it kind of made me feel a bit sick to look at for one thing, and the other being that fact that it kind of scared me, not just the fact that she had a scar, but also the fact that she had a bit of a creepy smile always on her face at the same time too.

I knew a lot of that could be used to say that she was just a very positive lady, though she really did not say all that much that seemed to be positive to the both of us. It was just quite a bit of a strange grin, and it felt like there was some thing else behind the smile, that seemed to freak me out a little.

I shook my head, as I let out a bit of a soft sigh to my self at the exact same time as well, as I then turned my head back in front of us, and away from the creepy lady, as I looked right over to Alexander. I saw at the same time too, that Alexander had a bit of a grin on his face at the exact same time as well.

His grin was a little bit different how ever, as it was more of a grin that told me that he was about to do some thing that was going to be very dumb. I rolled my eyes a bit, as I then all of the sudden saw that he began to turn him self back a little bit, as it seemed to be that he was starting to walk behind where it was that we had just gone.

I was a bit confused as to what it was that he was doing at first, until I turned my own head around, to see that the old lady was walking down the hall way, using the mop bucket to guide her way down, as it seemed like she used it a bit as some thing that helped her walk at the exact same time as well.

I then began to realize as to why he had a grin on his face, as I began to notice that he was walking right over to her, as it was clear to me that he was about to do some thing dumb to the poor old hag. I stopped my friend at the last second how ever, and thankfully at the same time as well, as I saw Alexander look at me with a bit of an angry, and a confused look on his face, as to why I had stopped him.

I shook my head at the same time as well, as even if the old lady freaked me out quite a bit, I still knew that she was an old lady, and I did not want her to trip and fall, and potentially hurt her self quite a bit either. I was just not that type of person, to have a big smile on my face, when ever I saw some one in pain, no matter who the person was.

That was where me and Alexander differed, as he seemed to enjoy putting people in pain. It was one thing that I did not like, and one thing that I would never under stand about my friend. As I sighed just a bit, as I shook off those thoughts all at once as well, as I watched the old lady continue with her walk down the long hall way.

Alexander had his eyes squinted at me for a bit of some time, as I could tell that he was not too happy with the fact that I had stopped him just now. I did not care how ever, as I was not worried as to the fact that he might so happen to fight me, as I knew that not to be the case at all, as he was not like that to me at all.

I tried my best to calm my friend down at the exact same time as well, as I still could tell that he was not all too happy as to what it was that I had done in the first place. I shook my head, as I shook off all of those thoughts at the same time as well how ever, as I then finally began to speak to him.

"Don't man... It's not worth it..."