Chapter 2

After our work on the office, I accompany Bea on West Spring Foundation to visit Henry, his love partner for 3 years.

"Ahm... Adele, are you really serious about this? You know what its okay to back out rather than be a cause friendship over." hesitate of Bea then smile awkwardly.

"You've been asking that to me since we went out of the office. And I'll be there for an hour, I need dropped by on the 54th street."

"Okay." and sighed.

"What are you sighing for?"

"I was so nervous right now. I always invited you for several times but you always refused it. Then after that... you gave me a tons of paper works in the next day for inviting you." and open her phone to make a message. "Anyway, I need to orient Henry that you are coming with me. He must be very surprised about it, after that incident... you isolate yourself in all of us. But I guess I'm still lucky to be with you around."

"You're spouting nonsense."

"Yeah... yeah... I'm sorry. I just want Henry to be prepared after all you know... "

HENRY JOE BELIDINO

This Henry of Bea, is one of those buddies of Rupert way back then. I still remember how they looked at me, when they heard Rupert was dead. And how they cried so much knowing that they would never see him.

NIGHTMARE.....

We are right in front of the campus, it's still looked the same even though a decade been passed. We walked in the quadrangel while Bea still contacting Henry who was in the faculty. So nostalgic... all the memories flashed on my head. Out of nowhere I walked around the campus, until I found myself standing in front of our old classroom. I entered the room and sit at the back of the classroom where I sit before when I was studying here.

*PHONE RINGING*

"Okay, I'm going there." I answered the call.

I hurriedly went to the 54th Street, right to the shop I annualy visiting. I still have an hour before going to my next destination. I stopped to the shop where freah flowers been there.

"Hello Jolina! I'm here." a cheerful entrance I made on the door.

"Ma'am Adele, you're bouquet of Sunflower is ready." Jolina smiled at me. "Oh! I brewed a camomille tea awhile ago. Have some of it?"

"Thank you Jolina." and I sit on a vacant table in the corner.

"Ahm... Maam Adele, I'm just curious... every 29th of May, you always came here to buy a bouquet of Sunflower? Does this date... was very special to you?"

"Special..... I don't know ... Every year someone reminds me I need to bring Sunflower and say sorry for being dumb and selfish every year."

Sunflower. A flower that I symbolized Rupert, a sun of my jetblack peach world. But this flower... was the first flower Rupert gave to me. Everybody told me to forget all the things about Rupert but I suffer this life for almost 10 years.

After an hour, I went out the flower shop with a bouquet of sunflower and ride on a taxi. I arrived at cemetry and watched Rupert's parent walked away from his tomb. I placed the sunflower and sit on the ground. And hug my knees tightly.

"It's been 10 years and I'm still coming here brought you sunflower. It's also the 10 times I keep asking you, how sorry I'am on your death. It felt like it was all happen yesterday but in reality you're not here. You choose to sleep on your deathbed and leave us. All people sorrounds me keep telling me to move forward, forget the past and forgive myself for all my sinned. I'm tired. I was so exhausted. I was so drained. I almost gave up to everything. I'm still a coward."

"But Rupert... didn't think you're a coward."

I lift my head and saw Rupert's mother smiling bitterly towards me. Immediately, I stand up on the ground and felt scared.

"I'm sorry madam. I just came here.... to give those sunflower for Rupert..." almost trembling for being caught.

"I know." she smiled at me. Her mom looks even more old due to stress perhaps due to loosing of his only son. " I know, every year you went here to visit Rupert giving sunflower to his grave." How hard for a mother like her to endure this kind of disaster on their life. But I felt so wrong, she didn't hates me after seeing me here, instead she smiled for me. "You're almost grown up. You achieved your goal in life and chose the path perfect for you. And I was glad about it."

"But madam... I still want to apologize but I know it will never be enough."

"Never give up...."

"Pardon?" I was confused suddenly.

"On the earliest year of his death, I almost gave up... I felt tired on crying and mourning day and night. But everytime I told to myself that I'm tired and I want to gave up, it made me a strong person day by day. I just told to myself, Rupert didn't want me to be sad all of my life. And I want you to do the same... Adele..."

The wind blew softly felt like it embrace me. "Rupert never mad at you. He had his own reason why it happen that time. He felt bad for his self on making you cry and suffer so much."

"Madam... why you have to told this thing to me?" something made me dizzy. Thinking what she's saying.

"Have you read his journal? I guess you're not." and she turned her back to me and start to walk away. "I know you're confused and felt guilty for yourself..... It's better for you if you read his journal and find the answer of all your what if's?"

I'm totally confused.