5. senior

My college life of three years began. I had my hopes up since I had to meet and experience all things which seemed to be different from the ones I have been enjoying so far. My one friend whom we fought a lot, cursed a lot but still cried together, sat on the same table whom we planned our college life together, we parted because she was admitted to different college by her parents and she wouldn't dare change that. I had my hopes up but fear filled all my veins meeting new people. The question that I hate and I hated the most at that time was someone asking me my name , people who I told found it ridiculous and others funny but I really did not like it. The first person who asked what my name was aside of my family was that one person someone can never forget. It was my first love. I was young , literally very young . I first met him when I was nine years old and he was fourteen years old. My parents laughed a lot when I said I have someone I like, my relatives were all surprised because no one knew him . Sam was our new neighbor who moved in with his family, one sister and his father only since he had lost his mother. I was strong girl who liked to do everything even challenging tasks that was what I wanted to do the most in my life, what other people find difficult, maybe by that I thought I would have an easy life since I u used to do a lot of heavy things or I wanted other people to also acknowledge me at the very least. To welcome new neighbors we had a culture to take something to introduce our family to them . The first time we went to visit Sam's family that is when I saw him, he had those big eyes with very bright smile which welcomed us. Our parents talked and my sisters interacted with his elder sister and Sam but I was quiet since it seemed I wasn't welcomed there. I enjoyed my own company until he, Sam joined me, I was enjoying my movie he didn't ask much he only sat there besides me watching. I was still young I wouldn't know. We didn't talk a lot but we were neighbors so every time we would meet, he would ask me to take him to places and I would also go over for some movies. We had a lot in common thus I was young I used to like playing games, boy games, soccer, so we would sometimes play over his house. Not until I turned 12 years old that is when he came home I remember it was at night almost dinner time. Someone knocked and they came to call me that he wanted me, since at home they knew were friends they did not question my movement . So when I reached outside he was with his friends I remember two tall boys who I don't remember there faces well because I got shy I was dressed in my pajamas. He introduced them as his friends and he also said I was his close friend they greeted me and for them they left, he held my hand and wished me a goodnight. I did not give it much thoughts since I knew anytime he would go or I would move, but that did not end from there. H e became close to my family and at times when I was from the church I met him outside the house he. I invited him over he came asked for my childhood pictures. He teased me how I really looked boyish how I never grew my hair we ate laughed and my sisters were there looking , nodding in confusion. At my surprise he asked for me to go visit him since he visited I had to also go over. We went to his house as the same routine, we watched our series, enjoyed the games and since he was lonely his sister who was older than him had a job ang his father who was always not around, I had to keep him accompany and I tried to do it. He had to take me home but before we knock he thanked me and he hugged me , we lasted a minute he thanked me for being his close friend and hugged me more . Thus we liked each other no one ever mentioned I love you to each other but calling our names as much as we can that was the only symbol. When I went to school in my boarding school , we grew apart, but in vacations he would wait for me from my church and go home together which I liked a lot. Sam and I we parted our ways when my family had to move to anew place, we moved on the day I was at school and when we went for vacations I found myself in a new village which had no Sam. And now its been over years without contacting him or meeting him . I tried to ask around for people I knew from there but no-one seems to see how he is doing or if there still there and I had to move on and from him. People asking my name , I was always reminded of him. I had to tell them my name, even if I did not want it I had to do since it was new term and new class I had to say it. I am afraid of making new friends , being someone's friend thus deep I wanted to do so but i was afraid to do that . I dint want to forget people or be forgotten by those who were attached to me which was the most painful thing that I feared to be the last thing that will be happening to me. Am not good at keeping close connections which I was aware of but it was different from how people saw me. On the outside I was very cheering person who was loved , at my college many people were drawn to me because I used to smile a lot , take things simple but I would always fail to tell them my name but it was easy everyone would know it . My night was approaching and I saw it the first day I entered college. I feared having many people interested in me since I knew my flaws and weakness i was afraid it did end the same . Everyone leaving as they always do.