Anna_07

"Why are you trying so hard?"
"'I don't know."

Evan had always been a man filled with ambition. He built his fate and made his way to the top IT company in India. But, one fine day, he resigns. Evan was always told be abitious and bold, the best of all and wise. But he decides to find his own way and  to move back to his hometown Gangtok, Sikkim. In his journey start, Evan gets a journal from a stranger. Soon, that journal became the textbook where his all answers lied. And, his journey? It was somewhere between fighting for what he wants against what he needs. 


By Anna_07#1306

I moved back to country side

           I lost my grandmother last week. As easy as it may sound, as hard it was for me. People don't really care what you think or feel, or they care about is what they think about your situation.                          Well, I don't blame them. I told myself not to cry, I still am. If tears could tell how much you loved a person, I doubt I'll stop. I'll have to face my emotions. I am well aware of it.


                                      But, everyone who has gone through death knows. After the loss of someone, it isn't the right time to grieve. 


                               We, humans, are interesting and unique indeed. Even tho we lost some part of our life, we'll stick to our 'responsibilities' and pretend we don't feel.


            Everyone knows, they just pretend. Pretend not to know what other is going through. Well, I doubt others don't notice those dark circles and sudden loss or gain of weight. 


                                              I don't blame them. I never did, never will. I am the same as them. I pretend to unsee the pain others feel. I believe in helping or saving someone who yells for it. 


                      Someone desperate to escape their abyss, and will do anything for it. Death changes people. I saw my grandmother in her grave yesterday. 


                                 I no longer now could hear her soothing voice calling me to her, asking me if I ate. Her hands who once caressed my hair, her eyes, just like mine, twinkling at me. I longer saw it. 


                     I didn't realize when I started crying, but I did. I was on my keens, in front of the ground consuming her body. It was a goodbye from my side. A goodbye she couldn't hear. A goodbye I didn't wish to say. 


                                 No one knew what I had lost. My storyteller, My 3 am partner, My grandmother. I lost my grandmother. 


                          My cries were unheard, I didn't say a word. My tears said it all. With the tears down my face and my arms shaking. 


                                                           'I miss you.'


                  Evan closed the pages. He somehow found comfort in Irenie's discomfort. Knowing his feelings were valid and felt by others made him search for the tape recorder he had long ago abandoned. this time, he again sang with the song, but louder. 


  He started tearing up. Each tear letting go of the emotions he had stored and buried inside him. It was a long cry for him. He kept crying for an hour, while the song played. 


                   His and lacy's memories overlapped in his head, their photos around in his room were still fresh. His cries, longing, and pain were the same as Irenie's. 


                        He too had lost someone, who was a part of him. In the end, all he expresses with his longings were,


                                    'I miss you.'


                                   Death always does its work. But all the one who is left behind can wait. Wait for the day they meet the one who they lost. Till then, they have to move on.


Pretty cruel, but that's how it is in life. Life has always been cruel.


the one who is left behind.