21 James wants her to talk

James pulled into the driveway of the house that I still called Thomas's, even though he lived in the one across the street. In my house, in my home.

While my thoughts were lying on the fact that I'd been forced to leave my refuge, James had left the car and was walking into the house. I waited a few moments then left as well.

He closed the door in my face and I realized that he was trying to get a rise out of me. I ignored it and walked in with a plan to go straight to my room. But my steps faltered when I remembered the brownies Thomas had left. I shrugged, I'd have them another time.

"Are you not going to eat?" James asked from his spot in front of the oven. I answered him by walking up the stairs. I had still not removed the sunglasses so I set them on the banister at the top of the stairs.

I took a step in the direction of my room but suddenly felt an overwhelming exhaustion. I stumbled to sit on the couch in the library and I painstakingly pulled myself onto it. With my face on the cushions I caught my breath.

At some point I rolled over. My eyes were drawn to the many books that lined the walls.

After what felt like only a few minutes I heard James coming up the stairs. Instead of going to his room like I thought he would, he walked to where I was. I sat up slowly with the support of my right arm; my left arm was refusing to respond.

Before I even had a chance to look up at him I heard a solid, metallic clink. My ears barely caught his words, "Luna came by and left this for you."

My pulse became a muffled boom in my ears as my eyes struggled to focus on the item. I blinked when I saw the opal. The beautiful, white opal rimmed with small diamonds. On the inside there was sure to be an engraving, saying, 'My Love Always.'

"It's your ring, isn't it?" James asked and I merely stared at it as the memory of the night Raph had proposed to me played in my mind. The hollow void in my chest deepened to the point that it ached and made it difficult to breathe.

"Did you care nothing for your mate?!" James snapped, "Have you ever felt anything for him? Or do you just not care enough about him to show some emotion?"

My focus detached from the silver ring and to the fuming Lycan on the opposite side of the coffee table. The ache in the void of who I was didn't dwindle, it remained. My chest raised tiredly as though my lungs no longer had the strength to breathe. With every strain of a breath my shoulders sagged.

"Why do you want me too?" I asked with as much volume as I could muster, which wasn't much.

He looked startled and his dark brown eyes burned all the brighter with my question, "You say he was your mate, yet you act like you weren't! You're the weakest being I've ever met, and the fact that Beta even acted like he cared for you astounds me."

A deep pang resonated in my being and I stood up, my left arm rigid by my side. I didn't even spare him a glance as I turned to face my room.

A hand grabbed my upper arm and forced me to sit in an armchair. James's face came dangerously close to mine, his eyes were hard, "You're not going anywhere. I want you to talk."

Despite my attempts to hide my annoyance, my brows drew together. He sat on the other arm chair, his face cold and angry. He looked at me as though he expected me to spill all of my thoughts.

I mentally scoffed, I "trained" for under two months on how to keep my thoughts hidden. And no one will ever know them.

I could see his anger building. He wanted to be angry at me, but he was really angry at himself. It was obvious to anyone, he was tormented by the loss of his mate and was angry at himself. And he took that anger and sadness out on everyone around him. His fingers drummed impatiently on the blue arm of the chair while his shoe tapped aggressively on the polished wood.

I sat with my shoulders shrunken as I thought of the ring. Memories continued to flash through my mind, the feelings all so real. A deadly flower of despair bloomed in me when I realized that I would never feel loved again. Never like Raph loved me.

"Why don't you care?" He scoffed.

'Why do you? I could give a damn about your issues, why do you care so much about mine?' A vague notion arose in my mind that it could be because he wants someone to relate to. But I shook it away because there are lots of other Lycans who have lost their mates.

"Why won't you take your pills?" He asked, his voice quiet. It made me a little more agitated than when he was yelling.

I didn't answer. The room was deafeningly silent, to the point where I wanted to run to my room.

"Answer me! Speak, damn it!" He bellowed and I closed my eyes.

I had had enough. I would tell Thresh that I couldn't live with this unstable man anymore.

But as my feet shuffled to leave the room his hand grabbed my wrist and it hurt. I refrained from making a sound because it was always better for me if I didn't.

"Why won't you take them? They'll make you not as weak. You'll get better!"

"No, I won't." I said in a quiet but stern voice.

"What are you talking about?" He asked annoyed.

I was quiet, debating wether or not to tell him. But what did it matter, "The Elves cursed me. I will never heal."

He still wouldn't release his hold on my wrist and I was doing my best not to show my pain, "But the pills will help. Why not take them?"

He was sounding confused and my mind couldn't process everything. I wanted to try and understand what was going on in his head but my brain was in overload and I couldn't.

I turned to face him my heart thundering in my chest, my blood becoming faster from this conversation. I spoke with more feeling than I've felt in a long time, "Because they'll change me."