Chapter Twelve

Alexander

"Jesus, dude what the fuck happened?" Kev asked when I showed him into Julie's room.

Having hushed Kasey who was now resting her head on my shoulders, I called the hospital who were on their way and I also called Julie's mum to tell her that Julie had committed suicide in the middle of the night. This situation was scary and I was very careful not to touch her to avoid having my fingerprints on her body incase if it turned into a police case. I made sure to stay away from her room and Kev just stayed with me in the living room quiet.

"Your wife was really crazy, dude. How could she off herself when she just had a baby?" he said with his hands inter-laced under his jaw. I knew something was really wrong with Julie and she just happened to shut me and everyone else out of her life and now she's dead.

I held Kasey so tight because I was also scared of losing her too. Her mum screamed when I told her about Julie's suicide and said she was coming, first thing by dawn.

The ambulance arrived and carried away her body. I picked up the drugs that laid on the floor of her room. I looked at it and read through it, it was Celexa, an antidepressant? I didn't even know she was on medication for depression. She was confirmed dead and was taken to the maul. I wondered where it all went wrong, how could she do this to herself, how could she do this to us. Now Kasey was left without a mom. I just sat down looking into the thin air as Kev carried Kasey who was now sleeping into her room. He came out and sat with me, he was totally dumbfounded and angry, I was too. Why couldn't she talk to someone about what she was going through. Why did she have to do this when we finally have a baby here to take care of. I was pissed. How was I going to handle this alone, I needed her and when I needed her most, she fucked up and had to kill herself.

By dawn, her mum was already here as she said. Her eyes were puffy from crying. I didn't know what to say to her so I just hugged her and consoled her, we both lost someone special to us, her daughter, my wife, the mother of my baby. She asked of where Kasey was and I took her to Kasey who was still sleeping. I explained to her how I found her dead with Kasey on her cold body and how it was Kasey's cry that woke me up. I showed her the antidepressant I saw on the floor of her room. I think she overdosed on it.

"We need to prepare for her funeral as soon as possible, my work permit is till next week so, I'll be leaving by then." Julie's mum said. I just nodded my head silently, thank God she even accepted to stay and help me with the funeral preparation. I called my mum too to tell her that Julie was dead and the funeral was by weekend. My mum wasn't happy but she didn't bond so well with Julie so she just promised to come for the funeral, consoled me and advised me to get a grip on my emotions.

We sat in the church and listened to the preacher as he talked of whatsoever they said at a funeral service, my mind wasn't even in whatever he was saying, while my mum held my hands to comfort me, I just thought of how fast everything happened. Within space of one year, which wasn't even over yet, so many things had happened. I just looked down at Kasey who slept off in my arms. My little girl has refused to take canned milk since her mum died. And she cried a lot more now than she did before. She knew something was up, poor little girl. If only she knew that her mum would be laid to rest today. Whenever Julie's mum forced her into taking canned milk, it made her pretty sick in the stomach and she'll just keep on stooling till I'm scared she might die. This was another helpless situation I was into because of Julie's death. Her family were all her, including Ken her brother, her colleagues at work, everybody is just sad and surprised to hear that she committed suicide. They have the right to, Julie appeared very okay outside and because I'm her husband, I knew something was up with her by her recent behaviours but she shut me out immediately and the next thing, she killed herself.

"Alex, you really need to find a wet nurse for Kasey because she could die of hunger and taking just water since this milk is not good for her body system." Julie's mum said as she was about to leave. I was in a very tight corner right now. Wet nurses were not popular anymore and I wondered if I could possibly find one and a good one at that. I didn't want just any woman breastfeeding my child. Now Julie's mum was gone and I was left alone with Kasey. I knew she was hungry because she looked hungry, why did she have to be selective, now she's starving and I'm just as helpless as anything. I just carried her and prepared to go out. I took out my phone and dialed Kevin's number, he might help out.

"Kev, do you by chance know where I can find a wet nurse?" I asked when he picked up. I too was starving and I could also check out the agency that Kev looked up for a wet nurse on my way to eat.