I Don't Care

I need to get out of this place. I'm getting bored with waking up clueless and bandaged up. I want to remember; I want to know what is happening to me.

Suddenly the doctor walks into my room followed by my Mum. They both look concerned.

"Now Killian I want you to be honest with me. Are you taking your medication?" the doctor asks.

I look at him then look at my Mum. I can't tell them that I've been stashing them in my drawer.

"Yes, why?" I reply.

My Mum then gets upset again.

"Why are you even asking me this?" I ask.

The doctor then pulls out a tub of my medication out of his pocket. My Mum then goes into her handbag and grabs a bottle of water.

"Take one, please." He scolds.

Easy, I can just hide it in my mouth somewhere. I hold my hand out to grab the tub from the doctor. He places the tub into my hand and then I grab the water from my Mum. I open the tub and pour one tablet into my hand. I throw it into my mouth and put it under my tongue, then drank the water. I pass the water back to my Mum and swallow it.

"Open please." The doctor says.

I froze. I slowly open my mouth as wide as I could.

"Lift your tongue up, please." He scolds.

I've been caught. I lift my tongue up and they both see the tablet underneath. My Mum throws the bottle of water at me.

"Swallow it now!" she screams.

So I take the tablet back out of my mouth to show them. I pick the water bottle up from the floor. I put it in my mouth then undo the bottle lid and pretend to take it again. This time I push the tablet up into my cheek with my tongue.

"Same again please Killian." The doctor says.

I open my mouth and lift my tongue.

"Empty. Are we done?" I ask.

The doctor nod then walks out of the room with my Mum. I breathe a sigh of relief and go over to my drawer. I spit the tablet out and put it inside then close it. I then get into bed to start a fresh day tomorrow.

Morning arrives and I get ready as part of my usual routine, usual clothes and so on. I grab my rucksack and prepare to set off for school. As I open the door, the doctor is stood at my door.

"Medication Killian?" he asks.

I grab the tub out of my pocket; I open it and put one into my hand. I throw it into my mouth and into my cheek. I open my mouth, lifting my tongue to show him it's gone.

"Ok you can go." He says.

As I walk past him and down the corridor, I feel his eyes burning into the back of my head. He is up to something, but what? I exit through the doors and spit the tablet out into the bin.

I arrive at school and head straight to my locker. I don't see Penny or Wade when I arrive. I place all my books inside and my rucksack. As I go to shut the door Penny is behind it.

"Geez Penny! You scared me." I say with a giggle.

She just looks at me. No smile nothing. She looks as if she has been crying.

"Hey, you ok? Have you been crying?" I ask worryingly.

"I'm pregnant." She said then starts crying.

I stand in shock. I can't find the words to respond to it.

"And yes it's yours Killian." She says.

I slam my locker shut and put my hands to my face and my back to the lockers.

"Are you not going to say anything?" she cries.

It makes me feel worse that I can't find the words to respond.

"Hey. Have you told him?" Wade says as he appears next to me.

"Can you not tell by the way he's acting? He's says nothing Wade!" she shouts.

"We'll talk later." I say as I pull my hands from my face.

"Don't you dare avoid this Kil!" Wade shouts.

"What am I supposed to say? Let's be a happy family? It can't happen Wade! I'm a psychopath, nut job whatever you want to call me!" I shout back.

"I'm not mentally stable to do this!" I continue.

I walk away. I feel my heart aching. I've messed up big time.

Suddenly Wade grabs my arm and throws me into the lockers and then pins me up.

"I warned you Saunders! You did this you take responsibility. You don't just walk away and carry on with your messed up life!" he shrieks.

My rage frenzy kicks in, it starts a lot quicker than usual. It starts so quick that my watch didn't beep. I grab Wade by his neck and grip as tight as I can for him to let go. He won't. The more I struggle, the more blood appears from my eyes and nose.

"Wade let him go!" Penny screams.

"No, Wade, do what you need to do." I say with a smile.

"What?" he shouts.

I began to laugh uncontrollably.

"You're only doing this because you love Penny. I've always known that..." I say with a giggle.

"You're perfect together! Big man and slut." I hiss.

"Wade? That doesn't sound like Kil..." Penny says as she begins to step back.

I continue to laugh more and more to the point my cheeks begin to hurt. I want to kill this idiot!

"Penny get the nurse now! I can hold him!" Wade shouts as he pushes me more into the lockers.

Penny ran to the nurses' office and I was left with Wade.

"Come on then let's see your tough guy!" I say followed by laughing.

Wade then throws me to the floor and pins me down to the floor.

"Ah is that what you do with your slut of a girlfriend?" I say.

"I'm not speaking to you. You're not Kil. He wouldn't speak to us like that." He replies calmly.

I continue to laugh. Then suddenly I feel the other me pushing back through.

"No, no, no!" I scream.

Wade looks at me as I squirmed on the floor.

"Help me, please." I say as I begin to cry.

"Kil? Come on bro get up!" Wade says as he climbs off me.

The nurse come running over with my doctor. He is everywhere this guy!

"Turn him around Wade!" the doctor demands as he comes over with a straitjacket.

"What are you doing?" I scream.

I look around as all the school watches

"It's for your own good." He replies as he straps me up.  

He then leads me out through the doors into the schoolyard where more students are watching in shock. I feel embarrassed.

The doctor leads me to a white van and opens the back doors.

"In you go Killian." He says.

I sit down and swing myself around to get in the back. He then gets into the front and head back to hospital.