I Messed Up

I sit on my bed with my straitjacket on. I can't help but think about what Penny told me. I can't believe I got her pregnant. I'm such an idiot!

Knock, knock

"Come in." I answer.

The doctor comes in with my Mum once again. This is just great. I'm going to get more earache now about these stupid tablets.

"We searched your room and found these." He says as he throws a plastic bag onto my bed.

"Your tablet stash." He adds.

Great.

"Why aren't you taking them Killian?" my Mum asks.

I just look at them both and try to shrug my shoulders.

"Well, if you're not taking them Killian, I have no choice but to call the Greenland Asylum." The doctor says.

Wait, what? This is just great, now I'm permanently messed up.

"Please don't! Please, I can't!" I cry.

"You've left us with no choice Killian. You're not accepting treatment so I've had to sign you over darling." My Mum says calmly.

"I'll get better! I'll do something just please don't send me there! Please!" I beg.

You know you're a psychopath the moment you get told that you have to go to an asylum. That's where all the serial killers go and you're really loopy person. And it says a lot that I'm begging and pleading.

"Last chance Killian, then I'm telling the doctor there are no exceptions!" my Mum admonishes.

I nod; Thank the lord!

"Can I be un-tied now please?" as I ask politely.

The doctor walks over to my bed and un-fastens the jacket. Now I can breathe! But the most important thing is… Penny.

 "If you want me to help you Killian like you made me promise, you have to listen to me. So please take your medication." The doctor explains.

"I'm sorry. I will do from now on, I promise." I reply. Penny then walks through the door. She smiles, walks over to me and gives me an enormous hug.

"If you need anything Killian me and your Mum will be in the office." The doctor explains as him and my Mum begin to walk out of the room.

I nod and the doctor left the room.

"Start over." I say to Penny.

"The part I told you I'm pregnant?" she asks.

"Yeah… I'm sorry about the way I reacted. It was wrong and horrible." I explain.

"I know Kil, we are feeling the same emotions about this so you're not alone." She says with a smile.

I give her a hug and then kiss her on the cheek.

"So, how far are you?" I ask.

"15 weeks. Here look." She replies as she pulls out a photo from her pocket.

It is the scan photo. A perfectly healthy looking baby.

"Wow. So how are we doing this? Are we keeping it?" I ask.

Penny smiled and placed her hand on her belly.

"Yes, yes, we are. But you need to promise me that you will get better and be there for us." She says.

"I promise. I have something more to live for now." I say with a smile as I place my hand on her belly.

Before we could even move my Mum walks in, pauses and looks at us and look on the bed.

"Mum, don't flip." I say calmly.

"Don't flip? Don't flip! Penny's pregnant?" She shouts.

"I'll go Kil, I'm sorry." Penny says as she stands up.

"No, sweetheart, you stay there." My Mum says calmly.

I think this can be the worst way to find out that your son has impregnated his girlfriend.

"How did this even happen Killian? You're living here! The doctor is always checking on you!" she shouts.

"Well, I locked the door…" I say.

She rolls her eyes and turned to the door. Then the doctor opens the door and walks in.

"What's going on?" he asks.

"Penny's pregnant, and yes it's Killian's." She replies disappointingly.

The doctor looks at me in disgust. He then looks at Penny and then her belly.

"You need to abort it." He says harshly.

"What? Why?" Penny asks as she begins to cry.

"I can't explain but the way Killian is we can't risk it with the baby." He says.

"You can't tell her what she can and can't do!" I yell.

"When it comes to that child yes I can Killian. You have no idea how dangerous you are! If that child gets the same condition as you, it that can put Penny in danger. Do you want that?" he explains.

Penny looks at me and back at the doctor. I don't know what he's trying to tell me. If I'm that dangerous why can I still go to school? Why can I still go and see my parents and Lockie whenever I want?

"I'll do it." Penny says.

I turn to look at her worryingly.

"What?" I ask with surprise.

"I'll get rid of it…" she says it more clearly.

I feel as if I have just been stabbed in my chest. She can't get rid of it! It's a baby now.

"Good. I'll book you in here." The doctor says as he leaves the room.

My Mum breathes a sigh of relief and follows the doctor out.

"You can't be serious Penny!" I say as I start getting upset.

"I'm sorry Killian." She says as she stands up.

"You can't just come in here plan our future and rip it away like that!" I yell.

"Kil you're scaring me… let's just talk about it later." She says as she saunters towards the door.

"No! I want to talk about it now!" I scream.

Beep, beep, beep

My watch beeps. My heart rate had elevated. I grab her arm and drag her to the door whilst I lock it.

"Kil you're hurting me! Let me go!" she cries in pain.

I pull her back over to the bed as she is trying to get away from me.

"Sit the hell down and shut up!" I yell as I throw her to the bed.

Penny begins to cry and sits down on the bed. I can see the fear in her eyes.

"You do not get rid of it without my consent! It's a part of me as much as it's a part of you!" I shriek.

She sits and cries whilst glancing to the door.

"Are you even listening to me?" I yell.

I feel myself burning up again and a headache starting. Suddenly my eyes start to bleed. Penny looks at me and realizes what is happening. Suddenly she gets up and makes a run for it to the door. I grab her behind her neck.

"You're not going anywhere!" I growl.

I drag her back to the bed. She screams and cries in terror.

"Shut up!" I yell as I throw my hand over her mouth.

Tears are streaming down her face as she struggles to escape.

I throw her to the bed; she misses it and she falls onto the floor. Then she let out a painful scream. I jump over to her and grab her hair.

"If you can't stay quiet, I'll make you permanently quiet!" I say, followed by laughing.

"Kil it's not you please stop! You wouldn't do this to me! Please, I beg you, I'm sorry!" she cries.

I let her go and I stand up. I see the blood on the floor. Penny grabs the bed and pulls herself up she begins to struggle and starts sobbing.

"Get the doctor! Please Kil! I'll tell him I trip and fall just please do it I'm in so much pain!" she begs and cries.

I can't help but stand and watch her in pain. It feels like an achievement. But a part of me makes me slowly walk over to the door and unlock it. Suddenly Penny screams out in pain and the doctor throws the door open. He is followed by my Mum and a lot of his goons.

"I'll sort Penny. You grab Killian!" he yells to his goons.

My Mum stands in horror. Four of his goons throw me to the floor as always and began getting a straitjacket on me. I don't struggle nor scream but just let them. Something weird starts coming over me.