31 :my life

(Xenovia POV)

Ever since that day when my whole reality was shattered by three simple words

"God is dead"

My whole world everything had been shattered, not knowing what to do I went to confront the church about there lies and the fact the I was nothing but a puppet to them and for that I was almost killed as the one I considered a mother did nothing as I was forced to run away and kill those that I called allies, my sadness had turned into pure hatred for the church

'I will kill them this I promise' I thought as I ran back to kuoh heavily injured, as I swallowed my pride a bagged the gremory girl to turn me into a devil as I made an excuse that I had no idea on what to do with my life and being a devil was the only option

At first she wanted to refuse but when I told her that I still had the disobedient holy sword she jumped and made me her knight and since I was now the knight of Lucifers sister, the church had no choice but to back off

'is this my life now, everything I am is a nun one that served the church without question, I have no dream, I've wasted so much of my life' and that's when I thought motherhood would be a good thing to do at least I could experience what it means to be loved and love something and this caused me to turn to the boys in our group

The blonde had no interest in women so it was pointless to go after him, then there was the pervert or Issei and to be honest I wanted nothing to do with him but he is a dragon and so his blood would give my child an advantage

Well that what I thought until, she crashed from the sky, a little girl that look younger than me as she took down an ultimate class devil without even breaking a sweat and I thought she seemed bored

'what is she' I thought as I wandered on who she was but that thought soon left as all the evens of the night happened and it was back to school but we where told that we where going to live with the pervert 'great' anyways that thought changed when I got there and meet his parents and the girl that crashed into the school was there and with her there Issei didn't do a single perverted thing only at school but at home he seemed always scared

'it must be her' and because of this the girls didn't like her much and she showed that she was disgusted by us as the showed opened hostility towards her as she kindly returned

That stopped the day Akano decided to attack her as she returned by beating us to the ground and that when I knew I had found my purpose

'to be like her, someone who strong and able to do as she please, someone who has no strings'

And that's when I began to challenge her every day without fail as she beat me into the ground over and over again but I did not stop cause as she destroyed me she gave me advice

"huh your actually improving and your strength and speed have increased, I'm impressed keep improving and I will maybe train you" she said as I looked at her from the ground bleed heavily most of my bones where broken as I looked at her as tears fall from my eyes 'I don't know why but her words seemed to bringme joy'

"I promise with my die breath I will make you proud Master" I said she picked me up and placed me on her shoulders this also shocked me as usually she wouldn't care and I would have to drag my broken body back and ask Asia to heal me

Huh I remember the first time she broke me

As I layed on the ground tears in my eyes

"huh your still alive huh well you wanted this so I'm not to blame" she said as I wanted to scream but blood was the only thing that came out

"huh it doesn't matter you will bleed out if you don't get help, so I'm going to leave you here and won't inform anyone about this so you have three options

One stay there and die

Two wait and survive while pray to that God of yours to be saved before you bleed out

Or three save yourself " she said as walked away

'it hurts... Everything hurts is this how I die..... Alone..... I haven't done anything with my life.... I don't want this.... I REFUSE THIS I WILL NOT BE SAVED LIKE SOME HELPLESS CREATURE' I thought as that day I dragged myself to Asia in extreme pain but I didn't care I was going to live no matter what, I would get stronger and so everyday I would fight a losing battle with an enemy that would kill me if I where to slip up even if she was holding back she was still going for kill shots and there are moments where she would have killed me because of my sword

'why do I even use this stupid thing, it's completely useless to me it won't listen to me it's holding me back... Huh but it's the only thing I have that keeping me in the peerage, I wouldn't be surprised if Rias was to trade me in for another'

(present)

As I was on the ground listening to master

"but I'm not a completely monster, you have a week to be able to move normal before we start, use whatever method you see fit to be able to overcome this challenge if you impress me I will give you a new weapon of my own making " she as she walked into the house 'I think I've figure master out, master refuses to waste her time on worthless creatures, that why she gave me this tasted like she has in all those fights we had' I thought as I picked myself up but fall

"come on, I will succeed!" I shouted as as I pushed myself up going against my body as I stood up as I began or tried to walk as it took me an hour to get to inside

"xenovia are you okay" a voice said as I looked to see Kida, Akano and Rias

"y-y-yes t-this is simply part of my training" I said as I fall face first on the floor but soon picked myself up as the floor cracked as I got up

"you don't look fine let us help" akano said as she reached for me

"NO!" I shouted as she moved back

"this is my test and mine alone and I will finish this alone" I said as I pushed myself up

"but we where give a day to relax and you are still injured you should take this time to heal you can start tomorrow" Rias said as I looked at her

"while I appreciate the advice president, master gave me this task to complete, I don't have time, I need to be able to move before the end of the week, so if you can excuse me president" I said in a blank tone as I tried to lift my leg and walk but fall this time on my hands and knees as the ground cracked as they tried to help but I refused as I got up again and made my way to my room and fell on the bed and passed out, I was still out of energy from this morning and Asia gear does not refill you energy supply

(10 hours later)

"xenovia walk up it almost time for dinner" a voice said as I opened my eyes to see Asia as I nodded

"okay I'll be right there" I said as I rolled off the bed not wanting to break it as the battle of trying to get up began as I moved to the door

"that took you a long time Xenovia are you okay" she said as I looked at Asia as she had a worried smile as I shook my head

"everything is well Asia" I said as she nodded as she left with me following or in my case trying as I had to grab on the walls to move

After an hour or more I was able to make it to the dining room and found everyone was already seated as I made my way to the chair next to master

"you are able to move.... Good at this rate you will be able to move properly in two weeks" she said as I looked at her 'but she said that I only have a week, meaning I must do something to increase the speed of my growth, maybe I can ask her what I can do to improve'

"ahhh it's good of you to join us child, we almost thought you wouldn't make it" lady gremory said

"huh I'm sorry lady gremory, it's just been extremely difficult to move but I will solve the problem within the next three days" I said as I bowed my head a little

"I see well then Ruby I would like you to-"

"no"

"huh you simply can't go to an event such as this what if someone asks you to dance"

"I would refuse if they try and force me I will remove there head from there shoulders and then destroy there souls or I can have my darkness on the whole night" master said without a care as I looked at her with stars in my eyes as she turned to me

"your going to need to increase your intake of food I will write down you diet and give it to the maid" she said as I looked at her confused

"why is that master?"

"well while it's true that devils and those of the supernatural don't need food, your body is still that of a human in a way, so as such you need food in order to build repair and heal your muscles" she said as I remember something I found in the library

"oh I read about this a few days ago"

"yes everytime you exercise you muscle tissue are being ripped apart and when they rebuild the rebuild stronger" she said as I looked at her 'is that why my physical strength has grown so much over the pass month, but'

"then why did you stop Asia"

"unlike the other time today you were comply drained and I don't have enough information on her gear but what I think is that it uses your energy to speed up the healing process and if that was true you would have died but I've never been healed" master said as I nodded as we ate and then went to bed as I took off the bracelet and went to bed

But I couldn't sleep I stayed up in bed think about what master said

'muscles tear and regrow strong..... Huh if I where to tear my body up and get Asia to heal it, then maybe I will be able to get this done within a week I hope' I thought as I went to sleep

(morning)

I woke up early in the morning before anyone else as I went to my door as I opened it there was a maid there

"miss rose told us that you would be up early so, here's the breakfast she said you would need" the maid moved to the side as a I moved to the side allowing her in as she brought in a tray of food

"thank you" I said as she bowed

"it's nothing, it's always good to see servants of the gremory household working hard to increase the power of there masters name"

"yes that is true" I said with a blank look 'huh I forgot I was a servant huh it doesn't matter, I just need to get to high class in power, then I can be rid of this title' I thought as she bowed and left as I sat down and eat after that I got dressed got my bracelet placed it on as I felt a large amount of weight crash down on me as I almost fell but stabilized myself and went to the back yard and began slow walking around the house till my body felt like it was on fire but I didn't care as I pushed myself to the limit as I also did some exercises

'master, always has weights on her at all times this should be nothing' I thought as I continued til I dropped into the ground unable to move

"Xenovia!!" I looked to the side and saw Asia running towards me as she kneeled down next to me and began healing me

"why are you doing this to yourself xenovia" she said as tears fall from her eyes

"because I want to be something and this is the only way to do it" I said as she healed me up just enough so I could sit up

"in this world the weak will always get eaten by the strong" I said as I looked to the sky

"that won't happen"

"what"

"we have Issei with us and he will protect-"

"I WOULD RATHER DIE" I shouted cutting her off

"I would rather be kill then allow someone to save me again, I hate that feeling so so much, I hate swallowing my pride, I hate being someone's puppet and I will never be a background character to someone else story, I want to be strong not just strong but powerful to write my own story, to be in control of my on life" I said as I got up again and began walking again leaving Asia

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Yes yes I know it's complicated and the first sentence are bad, but don't judge me I was half asleep

Anyways xenovia is going to be my main focus

Xenovia is not like cannon

This arc is her story