Ch.20: Love is acceptance

:: Quinn POV ::

"A week at most," Nuri declared, taking her hands off the sides of my stomach. "Or perhaps earlier."

"What?" I frowned. "Are you sure?"

"Positive," she answered. "But if you start to feel pain, any pain at all, tell me straight away. I'd be linking with you every six hours to monitor your condition and the children's, just to be on the safe side. With your uncanny condition, labor could come fairly fast. We don't want to strain your body any more than it already has."

I nodded and placed a protective hand over my stomach. Isn't it too soon? I've been carrying the twins inside me for barely two months. What if the timing is not right? What if we operate too early or something goes wrong during the procedure?

Sensing my agitation, Raziel moved to sit beside me on the bed. "Don't fret, everything for the birthing has been meticulously prepared." He said, putting an arm protectively around me. "All you need to do is relax and let the doctors help you when it's time. Don't waste your energy thinking about unnecessary thoughts."

I nodded and rested my head on his shoulder. I haven't been doing anything for the past few days other than walking around the room but I often feel very tired. It's been like this since my body started showing signs of pregnancy.

I finally stopped having morning sickness, thank god, but what replaced it was excessive fatigue. I still get irritable but because my energy seems to be depleted all the time, I hardly have enough to spare to shout or rant. So I just stay quiet and cry out my frustrations.

"I'll inform my father," Nuri said, already on her way out of the room.

Once the door closed firmly behind her, Raziel helped me to lie back on the bed. "How do you feel?" He asked, his eyes searching for any sign of discomfort.

"I feel cold," I admitted. My body temperature has been going bonkers. Sometimes I feel too hot, like I'm burning. And there are times, like now, when I feel very cold. "And drained..."

Raziel pulled the comforters over me and tucked the sides around my body to make sure I was covered well. He sat back on the bed beside me and brushed a lock of hair away from my face. He has a deep frown on his face. I can tell he's worried but he didn't say anything. He just kept on staring at me.

They're hiding something from me. I can feel it. I know they're worried about me and trying to keep my stress level to a minimum. Sometimes, I can't help wondering if it's alright to stay uninformed. But perhaps I'm better off. As they say, ignorance is bliss.

The twins are doing great and growing as they should. Nuri said she still can't detect the gender of the fae baby but the dragon half of the twin is for sure a boy. Raziel told me the possibility of the dragonling being born a girl was slim to begin with. He assured me he doesn't mind either way but I could tell he's proud that he'd sired another Dragon Lord and secretly, I am as well. Being surrounded by mule-headed males, I think having a little girl to bond with would be good. But regardless of the twins' genders, in the end all I want is for them to be born strong and healthy.

I placed a hand on the underside of my stomach and tightly closed my eyes. I concentrated on the feel of the babies inside me. I immediately felt a ripple of movement under my palm and a shock of magic bursting through my skin. I wanted to smile but instead I bit my lower lip and burrowed further into Raziel's side.

"Quinn?" Raziel whispered, wiping a rogue tear off my cheek. "What is it?"

I'm afraid. How do I tell him that I'm absolutely terrified? I want to be with Raziel. We're only at the starting point of our lives. I want us to stay together longer. I want us to watch our children grow. I want to hear their laughter, see them run around the house. I want us to be a proper family. But I'm not stupid, whatever is wrong with this pregnancy it has something to do with me.

What else do I have to do? I've only begun to feel like my life is back on track. But now, it feels like soon I'd be running into a wall again and I'm so tired.

"Quinn?" Raziel shook me gently, cupping my cheek with his palm.

I leaned into the touch and sighed. I'm being selfish. I shouldn't be thinking about unnecessary things when Raziel is doing his best for me. I'm going to be a mother soon. I should start thinking and acting like one.

"Names," I breathed out tiredly.

"What?" He asked, confused.

"For the babies… We haven't thought of names yet." I whispered tracing the line of his jaw. "I want us to decide on their names together."

Raziel gave me a dazzling smile before giving me a quick peck on the forehead. "We'll do it after a nap," he said.

"No, let's do it now…" I argued stubbornly even though I could feel my eyelids getting heavy.

Raziel chuckled and kissed me gently. "Sleep for now, Quinn. We'll have plenty of time later…"

Raziel sounded so far away and I'm not feeling so cold anymore. The warmth that enveloped me was so inviting and calming, I didn't realize when I had fallen asleep.

Then I woke up with a start. Something felt wrong…

I wasn't alone in the room but I know it's not Raziel, Syrath or Nuri. I slowly sat up and faced the intruder standing lazily by the foot of the bed.

"I was wondering when you're going to wake up," the intruder smiled brightly. His already handsome features became more pronounced. "I was debating whether to wake you up by cutting off a limb or let you sleep to your death by simply slitting your throat."

"Puck…" I breathed out, a new type of chill overwhelming my senses.

"Robin Goodfellow, at your service." He charmingly greeted, executing a perfect bow. "I would advise you not to make any sudden movements, my princess, or I would be forced to do something I'd rather not do at the moment."

It was an obvious warning and one I decided to heed. Clearly, I'm at a disadvantage. I can't use magic and I don't have enough physical strength to properly protect myself. If Puck deigns to attack me, pieces of me would be splattered all over the wall before I could manage a scream. I have to do what he wants and trust that Raziel and the others would notice that something is wrong.

"They won't come you know," Puck said conversationally as if reading my frantic thoughts. "I placed an enchantment around the room. It was hard with your empath friend lurking about the house. But I managed to do it after two days of grueling work."

"How long have you been here?" I asked out of curiosity. I'm still terrified of him, standing so close to me, but I'm confident he wouldn't kill me. At least not for now. Puck had the opportunity to harm me while I was sleeping but he didn't. Why?

"I followed your Dragon Lord friend," he answered. "When they put up the barrier I thought it best to stay here and spy on you rather than venture outside. The outside world is infernally boring."

"If you'd been here all this time," I said. "Then why haven't you killed me yet? Isn't that why you're here, to take my life?"

Puck laughed at that, a full and hearty laugh that brought tears to his eyes. "You're quite frank, aren't you, my princess?" He said, sobering. "Since we're being frank with each other, let me tell you the secret they've been keeping from you."

"Would it make a difference if I said I don't want to hear?"

"No," He grinned evilly, seductively. It's easy to see he's enjoying this exchange.

I shook my head and sighed, "Go on then, say it."

"Your body, it's too weak. It can't contain your children's magic any longer. If you wait for your full term, which will be complete in a couple of days, you will die. And no one, not even your temperamental mate, would be able to save you." He said cheerily as he hopped and danced around the room. "So you see, my princess, why would I bother to kill you when you're already dying?"

What I just heard should have shocked me. I've been brooding about it for days, and have been secretly crying over it. I'm still afraid but I'm not as terrified as I thought I would be. Hearing my fears voiced out loud somehow freed me. And now, I just feel calm.

I laughed, which seemed to have taken Puck by surprise because he stopped moving about. He was suddenly on guard as he watched me suspiciously. I laughed harder when he scowled at me.

"What's so fucking funny?" He asked, gritting his teeth.

"I'm sorry," I said, still chuckling. "It's just that, I was so worried…" and before I could stop myself, another peal of laughter escaped my parted lips.

Puck looked indignant while I laughed my heart out. He just stood there tapping his foot in impatience as I tried to compose myself so he could intimidate me again.

"Tell me," I said after I calmed down. "Is it true?"

"What?"

"What you told Orion," I elaborated. "Who my mother is and why you've been hunting me."

Puck looked away the instant Orion's name was mentioned. The tips of his pointed ears were dyed deep red. There was a faint blush in his pale cheeks that he tried to hide but didn't succeed to.

"I had no choice but to tell him the truth." He scoffed, indignantly. "That bastard got hold of my weakness!"

"Which is?" I pried gently but unashamedly.

Puck's head snapped back as he faced me. His original cheeky grin was already in place.

"Oh no, you don't, my princess," he replied, bouncing on the bed. "You're a hundred years too early to try and pry my secrets."

"What does it matter if I know?" I shrugged looking deep into his eyes, full of wonder and mischief. "As you said, I'm dying anyway."

Puck crawled up the bed and sat beside me, his legs stretched out before him. Suddenly, we looked like two old friends, sitting side by side.

"Does it not bother you, my princess," he asked. "That you're going to die?"

Of course it bothers me. Only a fool would welcome the inevitability of death with open arms and a smile. I haven't done everything I wanted to do with my life and I feel like I'm being cheated. But all that doesn't matter because in the end, I'd die, whether I want to or not.

I just realized I've been wasting precious time worrying about things I will not be able to change. I guess there is some irony to this sort of ending. After all my struggles and what I did to survive and get here, none of it matters. In the end, I'd have to give it all up just when I thought I could have it all.

This was the reason why I was laughing so hard earlier.

"Why didn't you kill me when you had the chance?" I asked instead of answering his question. "The truth this time, please. You're not a very convincing liar and frankly, I'm a tad disappointed."

Puck smiled brightly and I noticed this is the third time, since our conversation started, that his eye color changed. So it is true that Puck's eye color changes in tune with his mood.

"I cannot defy my king. I am, after all, a mere servant. But I know that if you died in my hands, the queen would not forgive my liege. So from the beginning I was conflicted on whether or not to kill you, my princess." He answered truthfully. "And now you're carrying a Dragon Lord and another fae inside you. My orders were to kill you and you alone. So I am currently relieved of my duties and you can rest assured that your children are safe from me."

I smiled at him and lay back on the bed, exhausted. I've been maintaining my sitting position on false bravado and after hearing his declaration, I can finally relax. The fae sitting beside me assured me he will not be cutting my throat while I am still pregnant or any other time for that matter since I'm going to waste away on my own anyway. There is still comfort in the world due to that and I am glad.

"I could make you feel a bit better if you want, my princess." Puck offered looking down at me. "Your empath friend has been doing her best. But the fae child is too powerful for her to handle. And she doesn't take kindly when someone pokes and prods at her brother. But since I'd be her servant in the future, I think she'd make an exception for me."

"She?" I asked, closing my eyes and breathing in deeply. "I'm going to have a little girl?"

Instead of answering my question, I felt Puck shift from his position to whisper in my ear. "Does it not bother you, my princess, that you're going to die?" He asked his unanswered question yet again. Persistent man!

"No one knows about death aside from those who're already dead. I'm going to venture into the unknown so of course it bothers me." I answered honestly. "But I'm a mother now. So even if I'm scared, I'm not allowed to show it. I have to accept my fate and endure whatever comes for the sake of my children."

The room was quiet for a while and I thought Puck left. But then he whispered, "Do you want me to take away the pain, my princess?"

I smiled and tried to force my eyes open but with no luck. "No, Puck." I whispered back tiredly. "Because feeling the pain is an indication that I am still alive."