Ch.21: Love is obscure

:: Raziel POV ::

I'm at the end of my tether. I don't know how much longer I can hold up! I can't watch Quinn waste away, slowly and painfully, each day without doing anything. I feel like I'll go insane if this hellish nightmare continues.

Why did this have to happen? Why to Quinn? Why us? I just got her back! Am I selfish? Am I asking for too much by wanting to keep her with me?

"Are you sure there's nothing we can do?" I asked Nuri for the nth time. I'm being a pest, I know. We've looked for possible solutions the moment Quinn's condition made a turn for the worse. But so far we found nothing viable. Still, there has to be something, anything! "Quinn is getting weaker. Shouldn't we operate now? How much longer do we have to wait?"

"The twins are not ready," Nuri replied firmly. "If we operate prematurely it would endanger not just Quinn's life but the children's as well."

I know that. Of course I know since I've asked the same question over a dozen times! I know it but I can't seem to understand it. Why? Why does it have to be this way?! "If we wait any more than this it would be too late for Quinn!" I'm losing Quinn. I could feel it! I could feel the threads binding her to me stretching to almost breaking and the line is getting thinner by the hour.

I swiped my arm furiously across the table, sending everything over it crashing on the floor. But not even that petty show of temper helped in abating the unease and helplessness I was feeling in my heart.

I'm scared…

I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm terrified of losing Quinn. She's my mate, my better half. Quinn is everything to me! I don't know what I'd do if I lost her. I'm not even sure if I'd be able to look at our children the same way, knowing they're the ones who would cause her death.

"Raziel," Syrath placed a hand on my shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. His face mirrors the mask of misery I was wearing on mine.

I looked at him and then I looked at myself. I had the sudden urge to laugh. I wanted to laugh until there's no more breath left in me! Look at the sight of the two of us, the famous Dragon Lords, the indestructible brothers who had the world at their feet. See how pitiful we have become? See how powerless we are against fate?

We have everything; fame, fortune, power and influence. But none of it matters because none of those superficial things could help save Quinn! Fame and fortune would not keep her safe from those who threaten her life. Power and influence would not guarantee that at the end of this madness she would live.

I have everything any man could ask for and covet in his lifetime. But they are nothing compared to the life of my mate!

I'd do anything to save her. I'd sell my soul and die a thousand deaths if I have to. But fate is a cruel bitch! Even if I'm prepared to lay my life for Quinn, I can't do anything but sit by her bedside and watch her slip further away from my grasp.

"You have to be strong, Raziel." Syrath murmured. "Quinn and the children need you."

I know... Oh gads! How I know that! I know it to the point of suffering. I promised myself I'd be strong, not for myself but for Quinn and the children. But what else do I have to do? What else could I do?

"I don't know how much more of this I can take…" I confessed, turning my eyes away from my brother's. I'm breaking, or perhaps I'm already broken. I can't do this anymore. I need Quinn! All I ever wanted was Quinn and now I'm going to lose her! I'm going to lose Quinn and I won't be able to survive it!

I grabbed my head and pulled harshly at my hair as my knees buckled beneath me. Syrath went down with me trying to hold me up. I felt another hand rest on my shoulder and relief instantly flood through me.

"Nuri..." I whispered tiredly, looking at her gentle eyes. "Don't… Please…"

Nuri should conserve her energy for Quinn. She shouldn't be linking with me. I don't need her help. I'd be fine goddamn it! I need Nuri's gift for Quinn and the children. I need her to tell me my mate would be fine. I need her to… I… I need…

My mind started to grow numb as if everything inside me was being washed away. I tried to resist the pull but it just kept on tugging at me until I couldn't hold on anymore.

"You need to rest, Raziel." Nuri's comforting voice sounded in my ears. I weakly pushed her back, my last and failed attempt to stop what she was doing. "You haven't been sleeping or eating well. The fatigue is messing with your head. Sleep for now, Raziel. We'll look after Quinn."

Nuri slowly closed her eyes and I felt the pull inside me getting stronger.

NO! I wanted to scream. I don't want this. I don't need this! I have to stay awake. I have to… I have… to…

Darkness slowly enveloped me. All my thoughts and my feelings were cut off as I was forced to plunge into a deep and dreamless slumber.

:: Syrath POV ::

Raziel slumped, unconscious, in my arms and I wasted no time to haul his body and deposit him on the couch. He needs all the rest he could get. Raziel is in a very bad condition. From the crazed look on his face earlier, he's about to reach his limit. If we don't find a solution for Quinn soon, I don't think my brother would be able to hold up.

I walked back and crouched down in front of Nuri, who was now ungracefully slumped on the floor. I framed her pale face in between my hands. Her skin was deathly cold beneath my fingers and her breaths were coming in short gasps.

"You damned fool!" I scolded, trying to get Nuri to focus her half closed eyes on mine. "What the hell were you thinking?"

She's been with Quinn for the past hour and that alone could easily drain her strength. The fae child inside Quinn is still blocking Nuri's attempts to link with them. And in order to successfully feel the children, Nuri has to breach through the block. First, Nuri has to channel all her energy and penetrate through the barrier while the fae child slowly drains her magic. This setup allows the fae child to momentarily feed on Nuri's magic instead of Quinn's. This is the only way it allows her to link with them.

And now she linked with Raziel. Nuri took in all the angst and negative energy my brother has been bottling inside him. Even for someone gifted like Nuri, linking with two beings in successions could prove fatal, if done wrong. If she goes overboard all the dark emotions and stress she's been taking in would strike back at her. This backlash could either drive her insane or instantly kill her.

I've always felt Nuri's empathic gift is a double-edged sword. She could help people by taking in the negative energy and replacing it with a sense of relief and comfort. But she's not making those feelings disappear, she's just channeling it all to herself. And supernatural beings have limits, all of us do. Dragons may live for over thousands of years but that doesn't make us immortals. We're still considered mortals with a very long life span.

"Raziel needed it," Nuri panted, stretching her legs before her. She leaned on the wall and closed her eyes. "His worry and fear for Quinn's life is starting to cloud his mind. If I hadn't done what I did, Raziel would have done something drastic. We both know he will regret his actions, if it ever comes to that."

She's right, of course, damn it! But Nuri didn't need to go as far as to drain Raziel of all his negative emotions and make him pass out. She didn't need to force Raziel to sleep so he could rest. Nuri could have just taken enough of his emotions to help Raziel get his bearings back so we could talk some sense into him. But because of her unsolicited acts of heroics now she, too, looks like she's ready to kick the bucket!

"You could have taken some of it away. You didn't have to take it all!" I snarled, still annoyed at her recklessness. "You're going to hurt yourself if you keep this up!"

Nuri's hand shot out and tightly grabbed mine. I was surprised she still had the energy to firmly hold me.

"What?" I asked, eyeing her suspiciously.

Nuri smirked, in that annoying way of hers, and I resisted the urge to smother her.

"If I didn't know better, I'd think you're worried about me." She teased her hand sliding against my palm and wrapping around my wrist.

Arrogant fool! "You wish!" I growled.

This child doesn't know what's good for her! I tried to pry her fingers off my hand but she just held on tighter. I could still pull away but I'm not such a brute that I'd take advantage of someone in such a weakened state.

Nuri breathed in deeply and brought her other hand to touch my cheek. "Damn!" She murmured, her soft hand scorching my cheek. "Here you are, completely and utterly defenseless. I could finally touch you but I don't have enough strength to link with you."

I gasped at the implication of her words. Damn it! For a moment, I lost my head. I forgot I wasn't supposed to approach Nuri, or get close to her. I wasn't supposed to touch her or allow her to touch me. It's a blessing that she's currently too drained and too weak to link with me.

"Let go!" I said through clenched teeth. Nuri's hand remained locked around my wrist. If I want her to release me, I'd have to hurt her.

"What are you hiding from me, Rheinalt?" She whispered tiredly, her eyes still closed. "What you're so afraid of…"

"Nothing!" I grabbed her wrist, with the intention to use force, but this time Nuri wordlessly let me go. I immediately moved to put some distance between us.

She watched me with heavy lidded eyes before smiling. "You do know, whatever it is you're hiding from me, I'll find out, eventually..."

Of course I do. It's only a matter of time before Nuri figures out what's going on. There'd be no escape when she does. But I wouldn't be here when that happens. I'd be far away and even if she knew the truth, Nuri wouldn't be able to do anything because I'd make sure she wouldn't be able to find me when I leave.

I stood up and looked down at Nuri for a moment. She fell asleep from exhaustion. I debated whether to move her to the room or not. But in the end, I decided against it. I can't risk touching her again. And after I covered Nuri with a soft blanket, I left her alone. She would be fine and will move by herself once she has enough strength to do so. I have to remember to limit my interactions with her in the future.

I walked over to Raziel and covered his sleeping form with a blanket as well before going to his room to check on Quinn. But once I opened the door, I was frozen from the sight that greeted me.

"Come in, my lord." Puck smiled as he casually lay on the bed beside Quinn.

My heart pounded hard in my chest and my head reeled as I quickly scanned the bed. There were no traces of blood in the sheets and Quinn looked like she was sleeping. But this is Puck we're dealing with. I can't let my guard down with him in front of me.

"Come inside and close the door, my lord." He calmly urged, purposely touching Quinn's long hair and I wanted to cut off his limb for doing so. "My princess is terribly cold, the draft is coming in."

I took cautious steps forward before closing the door behind me, my eyes never leaving Puck and Quinn's still form on the bed.

"What have you done to her?" I demanded.

"Nothing," he answered cheerily. "My princess was tired and she wanted to sleep. I let her."

"You think I'd believe that lie!" I growled. "Move away from Quinn!"

Puck's eyes glowed bright as he hissed and bared his teeth. He slowly stood up from the bed and stalked towards me. "You love her don't you?" He whispered like the devil incarnate.

I do and I'd continue to love Quinn for as long as I live. But Puck doesn't need to hear that, does he? I don't need to tell him how important Quinn is to me because he already knows!

"You see, my lord, you and I, we're a lot alike." Puck said, slowly walking around me, running his hands lightly over shoulders. "We covet those we cannot have."

I wanted to scream that we're nothing alike but I held my tongue and kept myself still. There's a purpose as to why Puck is here, why he's talking to me instead of slitting my throat. I should pay attention and find out why!

"What do you want, Puck?" I asked, keeping my eyes focused on Quinn's sleeping form. My mind was turning a mile a minute, thinking of how I could take her out of the room, away from Puck.

"What if I tell you that there is a way to save her?"

My eyes snapped up as I glared at him. But Puck just smiled. My body shivered from the cunning look on his face and my blood boiled from anger. I shouldn't trust him. Puck is a bona fide liar. A trickster!

But what if he's telling the truth? What if Puck really knows of a way to save Quinn? Lately, my life seems to be an endless repetition of 'what ifs' and 'what not'. I swallowed hard and resisted the urge to grab Puck's damned neck to force the truth out of his fucking mouth!

"What do you want, Puck?" I repeated my question only this time my words held a different meaning. I dragged my gaze away from Quinn's sleeping form and focused on Puck's bright eyes.

I'd go to hell and back if it meant saving Quinn. And if I have to make a deal with the devil I'll do it. I'd give anything to make sure Quinn survives this and gets to live a long and happy life with my brother.

"A favor." Puck declared, standing in front of me, his eyes burning bright. "When the time comes I'd tell you how to save her and in return you would grant me a favor. It doesn't matter what it is, how big or small. You will not question or demand it from me. You will wait and you will be patient. I will choose when, where, how and what I want. And you, my lord, would have to give it to me exactly as I demand it!"

Granting a favor to someone like Puck spells a load of disaster. But I have nothing to lose. If I do this, Quinn would be safe. She'd live her life with Raziel and the children. They'd build their family and they'd be happy. If I could make that happen then I am content.

"How do I know you're telling the truth?"

"You don't." Puck sang merrily by my ear and I couldn't do anything but clench my jaw in irritation. "You have no choice but to trust me, my lord."

Damn him! He's asking me to trust the word of the greatest con man known to mortals? It's absurd! If Puck betrays me, Quinn is as good as dead and I'd still be bound by my word to him. But it's not like I have a choice. We've been searching for a solution to Quinn's current condition that would not harm her or the children and we haven't found anything.

As Nuri said, the twins are a few days shy of being born. It's too early to operate. But Quinn's life force is being drained by the hour. She's getting weaker and if we wait until the full term it might be too late to save her.

There's no choice for me. It's either I trust Puck or I do nothing. And I refuse to fold and watch someone I love die when I could do something to save her!

"So, what do you say my lord?" Puck leered. He leaned forward until our faces were only centimeters apart and whispered seductively, "Do we have an agreement?"

I breathed in deeply and answered a definite, "Yes."

Puck smiled menacingly, widely resembling the devil and moved in to touch his lips to mine. This was a deal, a promise, a word of honor. And like most bargains it has to be sealed with a kiss.