Chapter 10:- Living my life

I went back to the hostel,and tried to remain focus in my academics and the remaining years and session left I need to put it into use..I informed my two best friends and they were sad about the recent development,they never knew Des could hurt and break my heart the way he did,or was it that he had some other babe,nope, not to think of it...we were to busy prostraying love that he would had any little time to look at a girl..what actually went wrong or was he tired of me ,I just couldn't come to the fact that we were no longer together..and I tried to avoid him as much as I could,I didn't want to see his face,cause he hurt me so bad...no doubt that I still feel a huge thing for him, but I can't let my feelings take a better hold of me while he is walking and living happily it hurts,you won't understand how I feel right now,just as if I can't breathe ,I cry every night just to try to forget him,he didn't even call me,after the break up text or checked up on me. Few months later I went to the library to get some books to read for my assignment, and I ran into him at the book shelf,I couldn't just avoid him cause he had seen me already and we were so close at the shelf ,I looking up and seeing those eyes he uses to look at me then,Hey !!he said,I didn't know what to respond,Mmmm!!I murmured,excuse me I wanna get something,I said...he held me by my hands I could still feel his gentle touch, what is he trying to do ,he affects me in every aspect, he cant just break up with me without no reasonable words and start all over again to touch me as if we were still together,am sorry he said,I withdrew my hands from his... always sorry he can't say or come up with another thing other than sorry,I left him there standing, went in search for what I was looking for and retired to my seat i never knew I could act in such a way like this avoiding him,after leaving him I felt guilty all I wanted was to talk to him like before ,feel his touch, his sweet voice and to kiss him,but I can't go back now that I have left moreover, its cowardice,and he cut off the shot not me...I couldn't concentrate anymore. So I left the library. On my way back to the hostel I still ran into him,Des of course...Hey, Phine can we talk?? he asked ,what's all this I didn't bargain for this here, I am trying so hard to forget him and he keeps reappearing and asking for a conversation when we broke up he didn't ask for one why now..I starred into his eyes...not knowing what to say so I looked away and crossed my hands..Desmond,there's nothing to talk about I wanna go I said,has I was about to leave he held me back again,I starred at his hands and removed them and tried to walk away he still did the same thing..what's wrong with this guy I thought to myself,as I was about saying a word,I saw a hand removing his from mine,it was Michael,Shmmm!!!I Never was this happy to see him,she doesn't want to talk to you don't you get it he said to Des,he scoffed and said whom are you now to her to know if she wants or doesn't want to talk to me..?Des asked him,Am a friend whom cares he said and turned to me Phine let's go,he held me by the hands and dragged me out of there,I didn't know if to be thankful or not or I just want to be with Des even dou, I was forming hard to get, I really can't move on without him, as we went a bit far away from Des, I removed my hands from Michael's,what do you think you are doing I asked,he starred at me as if he was surprised,what do you mean by that??he asked ,I didn't ask for your help,I replied. Really??it looked as if you needed one and I was opportune to be at the right place at the right time he said,I gazed at him bittered ,Next time keep your right place at the right time to your self I revoked against him I don't know why ,he scoffed and gave a smirk bitting his lips,is this the thank you I get for saving your ass!!he said...I looked at him in surprise,A thank you??for what and saving whose ass ??I didn't ask for it..come off it Phine,I know you despise me a lot,which I don't know why or what I have done or did to you,if it's about the party when we were in college and how I approached you maybe you didn't like it,I am sorry about that,I truly am he said and I know you are hurting, but settling for this am not saying is bad..he hurt you really bad and you are better than this,you don't need to go back to him cause you love him and he uses your love for him as a joke,I just want to be a friend to you nothing else not as if I want anything more,the other time at the class, I waited to see you come out from your lecture I always wait after my class to see you but you didn't come out,so i knew something was wrong, so I decided to look for you,he said I just want to be your friend I don't want you to hate me Phine...I gazed at him,startled on everything he just said and kinda calm now, so he knew I didn't like him,smiles...well I can give it a shot of the friendship aspect and that of Des he was completely right,I thought to myself..I smiled and said I was sorry for how I acted towards him and we could be friends and he smiled and said thanks,gosh he has a cute smile why am I just observing it now,so you do stalk me I asked,he looked at me and smiled not really stalking,he said, okay I nodded and said can we go and he escorted me to the hostel and left,I had to ponder on my decisions and decided to move on even though it might be hard. And that's how I tried everything possible to forget Des and now it seemed as if it was now his turn to chase after me and I avoided him. I became close to Michael atleast for starters he wasn't that bad, actually he was fun to be with and I loved his company that in few months I forgot about Des atleast a bit. I was living my life without any feelings attached.