Chapter 13:- Trapped in love

I don't know how I am feeling,this days I find myself thinking more about Michael,what's really happening to me. Why am I feeling this way,the thought of him makes my heart skips. I had a dinner date with Philip the next weekend, I had to let him know that we could only remain friends and nothing more ,and I was planning to call Dad to let him know that I would be coming over to visit them,that weekend too, and i later did,I didn't want to let him know what it was all about,I want to tell dad that I couldn't continue with the arrangements I was just so tired of everything...it's suffocating I do not have feelings for Philips..and even if I wanna date or get married it's to someone whom I think I am in love with not someone whom my heart isn't accepting.

Philips and I went on the dinner date ,he was engrossed telling me about his daily activities...it sort of felt boring cause it's still a repeatation of all I have being hearing anytime we are together. And secondly, I didn't know how to give him the news that all this while,my heart hasn't been with him rather it has being with some where else..I guess even me I am not even sure of my self how would someone I can't even stand then become my closet pal and thinking of the fact that I might be catching feelings for him is still baffling,I still am not certain. Philips, I said...Yeah??he replied,Emm!!Emmm!!I readjusted on my seat cause I wasn't feeling comfortable now about the whole thing and scenario,gosh why am I feeling this way ,I just need to say it. Emmm!!I don't think we can work, we can be friends, but I don't think I love you,or feel the same way. Hey!I get it but I could give you a few time to reconsider he said I looked at him,Gosh don't this guy understands I dont want to wait or reconsider, I don't have feelings and I don't think I would anytime soon,I said to myself.. Philip you don't get I don't think you get am not gonna reconsider I said..he looked up as if he was surprised,I don't love you am sorry ,I said and left I headed straight home to my dad's place to inform him about the recent development and how I felt ..and he was shocked, but okay with it and decided to support my decisions, that am young though and still had alot of adventurous days ahead I was so pleased. I went back to school and was living my life free, comfortable without having to think about, who am to please or go out with for a contract business. I and Michael still remained closed till my finals in school,and he was helpful we study together and he was intelligent just as a nerd kinda off, but a fun to be with if I don't get to understand a particular course he helps and guides me through, and yeah I did get to see Des around school premises, also but I didn't want anything to do with him and I was learning how to be happy now..I was on my way to the library when I sighted Michael with a girl close to a tree,she looked pretty from afar,but I didn't care he had female friends so i shouldn't be bother about it right??but not until when I saw her hugging him in a very uncomfortable position, shwas actually flirting with him and I wasn't happy about it I don't know why, but I felt bad as if he was cheating on me even though I don't like him like emotionally cause I wasnt certain, I hurried back to the hostel I just felt like dragging her hair and pulling it all off..why am I like this ..I feel betrayed by him,later that day he tried calling me I didn't pick I was avoiding him even when I and my two friends goes for a walk or outing,if I see him I tried to avoid him,and I guess my friends observed and I was asked what happened by both of them, Josephine what really happened Jane asked me...I don't know I said I just don't think I want to see him,did he do something wrong?? Ashley asked, Jane nodded in affirmation that seemed as if she confirms or agrees with the question,and I replied no ...I just don't know I said...and Ashley asked then...??if he didn't do anything wrong then why don't you wanna see him she asked...I myself don't know why am feeling this way and avoiding him to be honest..or...wait a minute she asked again have you started having feelings for him??I raised an eyebrow to insunate dont be ridiculous...No I shouted..you are!! Jane concord to what she said...don't be ridiculous I said..I managed to wave all this questions aside.

Michael,managed to track me down when I was going to get something from the cafeteria,when I saw he I tried to hide he caught me and was asking me much question, I tried leaving that area and he followed up and I was not surprised he caught up with me and stopped me from going any further,Hey,Phine wait up, what have I done,you have being avoiding me since 3 weeks now and it's not funny cause I don't even know what I had done he said...Yeah he was right what would I tell him now that was his offense...he had none .Michael you haven't done anything I said just that I have being busy I lied...he looked at me and scoffed..Ehh!!busy haa!!he said...and you're running like this doesn't it signifies you are avoiding me, am not dumb Phine what's wrong please tell me he asked politely...I tried looking up slowly cause I didn't know how to bring this up... Starring at him my heart skipped again...Emm!!you and that girl i said, what girl?? he asked surprised ,the girl you were hugging close to the tree,I know she is beautiful and even if you liked her must you do it openly I Said,he laughed out loud..hold up,Phine don't tell me you are jealous he asked...what?? I said looking at him right now he disgusts me what was he trying to say...why should I be?? I asked..Then why where you then avoiding me ever since you saw that scenario?? he asked..gazing at me crossing his hands,I didn't know what to do I was just stammering,I...I... please cut off this now am not ready for this,if what I told you wasn't reasonable enough then let me be I said angrily trying to leave and he held me back, wait up he said holding my arm to restrain me from leaving...you know I have lots of female friends ,don't you??he asked and so?? I asked what you saw was nothing,he said I wanted to believe him but I couldn't cause I don't know how to trust why am I all upset about this... except I like him,I waved away that thought,that's your business I said,you seem to enjoy the hugging and before... I could complete my sentence he kissed me,he didn't care that we were outside...I was shocked I wanted pulling him away but he resented and I gave in...he then stopped and he looked at me and said I seem to enjoy this more and I have been wanting to do this and "I love you,phine "he said still starring at me, my heart was beating so fast and I was so happy,I felt butterflies in stomach and I didn't know what to say starring at him gazing directly into his eyes I am in love with him too..I ...I..love you too I said this was the first time for a long time I told someone genuinely I love him apart from Des!!...I kissed him too...our lips were locked together and this was a new start...I am trapped in love with Michael. It was a good feeling.