Memory 8 | Draw Out Your Smile

RAVI'S POV:

"What? I mean- wae... wae-yo?" Her doe eyes dimmed in disappointment as she tried to cover it with curiosity but little did she knew that I was noticing even the tiniest detail about her from the depth of my damaged heart.

For instance, how she almost had a panic attack when she overlooked the railing a little while earlier. A small smile made its way to my face without my consent as I studied her reaction from a different angle.

"You sure are very curious like Jyani hyung said. However, I believe I have told you enough about me for today. Whereas, you didn't say a word about yourself or even your nightmares..." I carefully laid my words out with a casual laugh as she immediately responded to my hint.

The whole point of the conversation was meant for her to open up to me but it didn't turn out that way. After having a seriously lengthy debate against my sanity and instincts in the stillness of that chilly night, I finally concluded the only possible path I had into unravelling the mystery behind her unreal resemblances to my Mira.

And that will be by taking the first step myself. If neither of us would want to break the ice of the awkward yet affectionate distance between us, then we would both freeze in regret soon. After five long years of trapping myself in her memories and drawing out her smile in my mind, I finally felt free from that curse. She's right before my eyes and all I had to do to have her back in my arms, is ask.

Should I call her Mira again?

Should I just hug her first?

She doesn't know how long I've thought about those before finally deciding.

Precisely at that very moment, she appeared on the hotel's terrace out of nowhere like the miracle I believed she was and so I did what I had to. I told her what she had to hear, in the hope of getting back something about her in return. However, my own idea backfired and I ended up breaking down at the reminder of the most agonizing scene I've ever witnessed in my whole pathetic lifetime. It began to ache so badly as I tried to erase that image but it only got clearer and I felt cowardly and helpless.

Right then, she did something I never imagined.

She gathered all my shattered fragments in her ethereal embrace as she hushed my agony away. The moment her warm hands wrapped around me with all the care and love I remembered, I found myself surrendering to that sanctuary. Though I didn't get to hear what I was expecting, I was still more than grateful to be caressed by her heavenly arms once again. I realized how my love that disappeared with the rain that night has returned with a beautiful rainbow today.

"It's alright, Gia-shi. Like I said earlier, it is fine if you want to keep it to yourself. You don't have to open up to me too just because I did..." I gave her my most genuine smile in the attempt of screening the obvious disappointment as her face got paler in confusion.

"I hope you get to sleep well at least for tonight, Gia-shi. Good night." I began walking as fast as I could while her hurried footsteps behind me picked up speed quite audibly.

"Jamkkanmanyo... can't you at least tell me why it is not possible for her- I mean, your ex-lover to return?" I caught a glimpse of her troubled reflection in the glass door before me. She seemed utterly desperate and from the look of pain in her eyes, I wasn't sure who between us was hurting more. I put on an emergency grin as I turned around to face her one more time.

"Aren't you a little too persistent, Kang Gia-shi?" She was looking at me with nothing but distress. All of her body and soul was radiating with the desperation of wanting to know my answer and I simply had no idea why. Though it burned me to say those words, I still drew enough courage and said what she needed to hear.

"It's because... she's no more to return, Gia-shi. She died in an accident five years ago."

Without waiting for her response, I rushed out of the terrace and quickly locked myself in the elevator as a breath of relief escaped my trembling lips. I did it. I have finally taken that one courageous step towards her and now it was her turn to do so.

Although every last cell in my body was screaming to run back to the terrace and just kiss her until she recalls every last memory, I still restrained myself as per what I decided earlier. I had no choice but to take this slow because she seemed seriously agitated every time something familiar came up, like just now. I began to quickly recall every single detail I noticed about her since the first day as the elevator descended to my floor.

★★★

Flashback ~

Gangwon Province, 2008.

I was quite taken aback by her seemingly unbelievable statement. She was waiting with her starry eyes sparkling in excitement, while I simply stared at her pretty face to ensure if she was telling the truth or not. Ever since our first encounter last winter, Mira and I grew really close to each other in a very short span.

For a girl who grew up in the mountain temple with no coeval company, she was rather cheerful and really talkative which was quite the opposite of me and I found myself falling head over heels for all of her delicate charms in no time. I spent most of my vacation either playing with her or getting pranked by her and she eventually became my only motivation to visit and climb up the cold mountain even in that minus degree temperature.

Soon after I returned to Seoul, we began writing to each other frequently, and even phone called at times, through which our bond strengthened further and I caught myself eagerly waiting for the next winter. So that I could visit the same freezing hill station that I recalled hating at first sight. However, I was not prepared for the surprise news she was keeping for me at all. Although I was well assured that she would never lie to me, what she had just said sounded too perfect to be true and I was afraid I might only end up hurting myself if it turned out to be just another one of her silly pranks.

"Yah! Did you really think that I would fall for that? It's December now, Choi Mira! Not the 1st of April!" I knocked her head slightly and stuffed the cookie that she baked in her mouth before popping one into my own.

"Aniya! This is really happening. The admission letter is in the temple and the head priest himself told me that he'd be sending me to Seoul next semester. We can go to all the places you've told me about, Won-ah! The amusement park, the canola field, your favourite coffee shop and even that place you joined as a trainee. Yah, I'm serious!" She shook my arms in frustration as I lazily turned to look at her frantic reaction. Realizing that I'm not completely convinced yet, her dreamy eyes dulled in dismay as she mumbled to herself.

"Geurae... Don't believe me..." She got up and began to walk away as I instantly ran after her like a lost puppy.

"Yah... Don't be like that. It's not that I don't believe you..."

"Then, what? Are you not happy to have me in Seoul?" Her cute little lips remained in an upset pout, as her gaze stayed glued to the snowy forest ground, indicating how she was indeed upset with me. I grabbed both her wrists and squatted a little lower to meet her eye level but she avoided mine.

"Mira-yah... Don't be like that now, please! Of course, I'll be so damn happy to have you close to me all the time instead of one season in a year. It's just that it sounds too good to be true and I just don't want to be disappointed after getting my hopes up. You know you pull a lot of silly pranks on me. Keuchi...?" I gave her tiny wrists a tender squeeze as she finally glanced at my face. The pout was slowly disappearing and she seemed rather convinced by my sincere confession. Right away her naïve expression vanished as a playful grin painted her pretty face.

"Well... I guess you have no other option than getting used to being pranked throughout the year after this." She began to laugh like the little devil she was as I stood there in total disbelief.

"Hoel! I highly doubt that, Choi Mira-shi! From what I foresee with my Shikie Superpowers, you are only going to keep complaining about the vending machines and drag me around the city to get premium quality green tea. Looks like, I'm going to have to stay beside you for twenty-four-seven!" I sighed heavily, pretending to be frustrated as she started throwing punches at me in annoyance.

"Yah, Kim Wonshik! Do I look like a parasite to you? Damn your Shikie Superpowers!" She started to look around for a weapon to attack me but I grabbed her right in time before any assault as she attempted to break free.

"Yah! Yah! Is it so hard to admit that you like having me around? Huh? Huh? Huh?" She kicked my knees harder, stepped on my feet and even tried to bite my hands while I couldn't help but laugh at her adorable assault. Turning the wild little girl around, I gripped her shoulders firmly and inched closer as our gazes got locked. All of her never-ending talkativeness was silenced right away as her beautiful eyes solely focused on mine.

"I've said it once already, Choi Mira but I can say it again if you want to hear." She pursed her rosy lips as her eyes glowed with expectations of my upcoming confession. I smiled, capturing her expression in my head before speaking.

"I feel more than blessed that I have met you and getting to be with you for an infinite end of time is my earnest dream. While we were apart, I always reminisced our memories together and kept drawing out your smile in my heart but now I don't have to do those anymore. Knowing that I can see your face and hold your hands every day instead of once a year makes me the happiest guy in the world and I can't wait for that to finally happen." A satisfied smile adorned her stunning face as a slight shade of red visibly highlighted her cheeks.

"And... I also think that you are most probably going to be the cutest parasite ever!" Her expression changed almost immediately at my final line.

"YAH, KIM WONSHIK! DO YOU WANT TO DIE!!!?" I ran away bursting into laughter while my dream chased after me with murderous instincts.

★★★

Kang Gia definitely said the exact same thing as Mira, and the only thing that lacked was the mention of my real name. And from the instant reaction she gave, I bet she did sense something oddly familiar and that's exactly where her agitation flared up. Not to mention the sudden cold sweats and the obvious almost panic attack after she saw the altitude of the hotel's terrace. If my assumptions were correct, then Gia definitely had strings attached to Mira.

It is either a real miracle where doppelgangers experience similar life incidents like in David A Hill's 'How I Met Myself' or... Or she was not a doppelganger but my Mira herself and I caught myself dreadfully hoping it to be the latter. Suddenly, I heard the faint sound of thunder and rain finally becoming audible to my zoned out senses and realized it was raining out there. I leaned against the cold elevator wall as my mind drifted back to the night where she disappeared with the rain. I felt my ruined heart choke in misery as the details of that night popped up in my twisted head one by one.

I remembered how much it rained to the extent of having an umbrella was pointless.

I remembered how my heart remained torn apart despite numerous attempts of trying to sew the pieces together.

I remembered how I tried to draw out her breathtaking smile in my head when all I could see through the jeep's windscreen was the back of her head.

I remembered every single thing whereas she doesn't at all.

I tried to shake the painful reminder off but it only got clearer with the sound of the pouring rain. And from the fierce look of it, I predicted a heavy storm was waiting in store. I wondered if she was still on the terrace while my instincts began taunting me for leaving her behind like that.

After what felt like the longest monologue of all, the elevator finally stopped as the number of my floor popped up above the buttons. I ran my hands through my hair in frustration as her image crossed my mind and a sad smile followed it. The elevator doors opened and all my senses instantly froze when I found the image in my head standing right before my eyes.

"Mi-", I rephrased my line immediately as I rushed to her side. "Miss Gia, what are you doing here?" She was completely drenched from head to toe. With one hand holding her stomach and the other grabbing onto the wall, the poor girl was gasping for air.

"Ravi-shi... The other lift... was on maintenance..." She pointed while panting heavily. That's when it clicked to me. She had climbed down more than ten flights of stairs and seeing how she'd reached before the elevator did, I could only imagine her speed. And she was also drenched by the heavy rain. Right then her legs gave away as she collapsed but luckily, I foresaw it beforehand and caught her in time.

"Daebak... That... was fast..." Her arms looped around my neck, as I held her frail body in place. Despite being breathless and gasping, she still commented smilingly.

"Yes, thank you! I have Superpowers, you see. Now, let's get you settled down before you pass out on me, Gia-shi!" Forgetting about all the CCTV cameras and threats I was exposing my idol image to, my mind was solely focused on the fragile girl in my hands. I scooped her up in bridal style and pretty much sprinted to my room.

"You're... strong too...what superpower... do you have...?" Her grip around my neck weakened while her hands and legs dangled lifelessly in my arms. She even began to blabber as her consciousness visibly started to drift away due to the immense fatigue and I was literally running as if my life depended on hers.

And it actually did.

Fortunately, my room was quite nearer to the elevators and we managed to enter before she could entirely pass out on me. Placing her weakened body on my bed with so much care, I hurried to find the cellphone that I left on the nightstand earlier and called the members starting from Hakyeon hyung. However, to my utter demise, none of them answered.

"Jebal... jebal... answer the call!"

I was involuntarily screaming as I heard her flinch at the noise. I whipped in her direction and realized that she wasn't actually affected by my screaming but it was something else. She was holding onto her abdomen, as she groaned in pain. On cue, consecutive strikes of lightning followed by loud thunder blared and it began to pour heavily as the storm took over. My palms started to sweat terribly as I watched her suffer before my eyes once again as the events of that accident rushed to my senses. I was unwillingly remembering the stormy night my love disappeared with rain.

And it was pure agony.

"Andwae... andwae... jebal, Gia-shi!" I instantly ran to the side of the bed she was laying and dropped onto my knees feebly. Although all of my pathetic existence was dying to hug her, I was afraid to touch her almost motionless body. I feared I might break the brittle girl.

"You can't do this to me! NOT AGAIN!" Streams of remorseful teardrops were already pouring down my eyes just like the sky outside. I began to weep in worry as she barely moved anymore and her ethereal eyes were half-closed. Along with the raging thunderstorm outside, the familiar sight of her suffering before my eyes again terrified me further.

"I'll not let anything happen to you... I know that you can hear me! So, please... Please! Wake up!" I caught myself crying out the same cowardly words once again but she didn't move at all. Reaching my trembling hands out, I tenderly stroked her pale cheeks. My conscience was cursing at me for leaving her alone at the terrace. Right then, blood began to flow out of her perfect little nose and I literally died at the dreadful sight of it as the frail girl attempted to speak.

"ANDWAE! Please... please don't talk. Just stay awake....please! WAKE UP, GIA-SHI!"

I yelled in panic, caressing her colour-drained face with both my hands. I was crying harder, feeling disgusted with myself for being useless at a moment like that. I immediately got up, attempting to run to get my phone and a cloth but my knee collided hard with the footboard of the bed and I tumbled over face-first to the ground. Ignoring my own injury, I hurried to get the things and dashed back to her side as I tried to halt the nonstop bleeding of her nose with one hand while dialling for help with the other. Slowly, I noticed her body beginning to feel ice cold and all colours drained from her skin.

"WAKE UP... JEBAL...!" My voice broke in agony as my continuous crying died to feeble hiccups. Suddenly, my ringtone blared loud drawing my attention and to my utter relief, it was Hakyeon hyung's name that appeared on the screen. I answered it right away and the man instantly reacted to the sound of my sobbing voice.

"Hyung! Help me, please! She's bleeding- Hyung..." I choked on my words as my pathetic sobs built up badly.

"Wonshik-ah! Why are you crying? Who's bleeding?" He sounded just as startled as I was.

"Mi... Mi..." my sobs congested my ability to speak as I tried to fight back the choking agony.

"Mworago? Mi-who? Wonshik-ah, can you hear me? Tell me where you are first!"

"In... my room. It's Gi... Gia. She's... she's bleeding. She's fainting. I... I don't know what to do hyung... Hyung... Please... help me!" I finally managed to speak without breaking and on cue, the weak girl in my arms winced again. My attention immediately diverted onto her from the hyung on the other line as she mumbled something again.

"You're awake? Can you hear me? GIA-SHI?" I shook her delicate body as gently as I could, in the attempt of keeping her conscious and her droopy eyelids finally drifted apart a little. She attempted to turn towards me but only ended up groaning in pain.

"Hyung! Please come fast! I'm afraid..." I freaked out in fear. He did reply to my plea but I couldn't hear a thing as I was solely focused on her. I quickly climbed onto the cold mattress and caressed the delicate girl straight away. Her whole body was trembling as she reached her shaky hands out and tugged at my shirt, pulling me towards her. That's when I noticed the sad smile plastered onto her serene face.

Her whole body was aching, she was shivering in cold, her skin was turning blue, her nose was bleeding, and in spite of all those tortures, her lips were still curled up into a painful smile.

"I'll not let anything happen to you..." I half-whispered the words through my cracking voice, hoping she would hear. I saw her lips moved but nothing except her faint breathing was audible. I inched closer to hear clearly, as her trembling hands reached for my face and they felt as cold as ice.

"I know... you'll not let... anything happen to me... you have superpowers..." Her calm voice cracked a lot but somehow I felt a little braver to have her respond. I grabbed onto her hand that was touching my face and nodded fiercely.

"Yes! Yes. I'll not let anything happen to you because I have superpowers but... but it'll only work if you're awake so jebal... jebal... wake up!" I begged her as helpless streams of teardrops glided down my eyes and over her hand. On cue, Hakyeon hyung barged into my room with Hongbin along as both of them froze at the frantic sight before their eyes.

"MWO-YA? BIN-AH! Call manager hyung again and ask him to come faster. NOW! Wonshik-ah, what the hell did happen?" Hakyeon hyung panicked as I could only sob harder in response.

Right then, her hand slid down from my face to collar, as she pulled me closer. I instantly bent down obeying her gesture as she breathed out the words in my ears before completely blacking out.

"Yah... Wonshik-ah! KIM WONSHIK!"

Hakyeon hyung's worried voice was clearly audible but my senses were frozen in shock as I couldn't believe what I just heard. Within a few seconds, my mind interpreted the content and I regained my senses right away. My eyes began to pour even more heavily than before as I glanced at the surreal girl. I gathered her now unconscious body in my arms and cried harder, calling out her name in agony.

"PLEASE WAKE UP, CHOI MIRA!"

★★★★★★

| Title's Song ~ Remember by (VIXX LR - Beautiful Liar) |