12 | Pain

T/W knife violence ahead!!!!

We arrive home and I'm now stuck in a robotic state. We get into the house and there they are, my parents. "You're late Cassandra," mother sneers but I don't have the energy for this.

"I'm sorry," I apologize.

"Who is this?" father asks.

"My friend,"

"My name is Jason, nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. McAnderson," Jase introduces himself politely and mother just jeers at him.

"Get out of my house," father says coldly but Jase stands his ground.

"You should go," I say in a monotone.

"You're not looking too well, let me escort you to your room,"

"I'm fine, just leave," I urge him when I see father's glare hardening. I know I'm going to receive a beating of my life but maybe I deserve it.

"My car broke down,"

"Here's some uber money, and while you're at it, stay out of Cassandra's life," father throws a bundle of 100 dollar bills at Jase.

"Thanks, but I'm good," Jase smirks.

Father's eye go even colder and he's about to pounce at Jase but I step in front of Jase protectively.

"Please father let me handle this, it won't be good for business," I convince him. He glares at me one more time making me shrink back but he nods and leaves with mother. I immediately drug Jase outside so we can talk privately.

"What's wrong with you?" I glower at Jase.

"They hit you, don't they?" he asks sadly.

"I deserve it," I whisper as a lone tear rolls down my cheek. "Cassie-"

"Just promise me you won't say a thing, I tried once and almost died. My father is a powerful man, please don't make this worse for me," I plead with doe eyes and he sighs.

"Just come stay with me," he pleads. "I'm fine, he's rarely at home," I assure him and that's when I notice he is crying.

"Don't cry Jase, I'm fine," I wipe his tears as mine begin to fall too. "Here, take my car keys and go home before they come back, I'll text you," I peck his cheek then escort him to the car and watch him leave.

My heart drops as doon as I know I'm alone. I try to walk slowly so I don't let father know but as soon as I enter the house, I'm pulled by my hair. I scream in pain and father pushes me back hard making my back hit the railing. I groan in pain and let silent tears out of my eyes.

"So the little whore got herself another boyfriend huh?" He says wickedly and I stay quiet.

He grabs me by the hair again and forces me to look at him, he smirks then slaps me across the face leaving hand prints across my face. He lets my face drop then removes his belt.

The first hit is always the worst, he strikes me so hard across my back but I hold in my scream. Once again, his belt meets my back, thrice nonstop. It has cut threw my dress and now I have cuts on my back. He then makes me sit up and he ties my hands to the railing of the stairs. He leaves and when he comes back, he has a sharp knife with him. The last time he did this was when I went the police who happened to owe him a favour.

"I won't stop until I hear you scream for mercy," He smirks. He gets the knife and with little pressure trails it across my thigh creating a shallow cut. I don't scream though, I just look him straight in the eyes with tears rolling down cheeks.

He cuts through my other thigh but this time it's a bit deeper, my body has become numb to the pain and I look at him blankly. He continues decorating my body with his marks until his finally satisfied, a few of my stitches have ripped open and now I'm bleeding all over again. I'm about to pass out from the pain but I keep humming the song Court and I used to sing to each other if either one of us was sad. It's what always gets me through father's beatings.

He heads to the kitchen and this time comes back clean with a bottle of alcohol, he unties me then smirks, he empties the bottle on me and i scream in agony as I feel my wounds all over my body burn, I'm screaming so loud but I know none of the workers can attempt to come help me.

"Had to disinfect you, after all, I wouldn't wish to lose another daughter of mine," then he walks out of the house.

I try to get up, but my whole body is screaming in pain, the hot salty tears keep burning the cuts on my face making the tears stop. I take off my already ruined dress and use it to apply pressure onto my previous injury since it's belleding all over again.

"Cassandra? Cassandra," Ruth runs to me and resists touching me. "I'm so sorry, I went out for drinks. I didn't know this was going to happen," she sobs.

"Sheeshh! I'm fine Ruth. I just need help to get to my room," I say weakly and she nods. She slowly and carefully gets me to my room where I head to the bathroom and sit on the floor with my first aid kit. "Ruth I need you to stitch me up," I say and she shakes her head. "We need a doctor Cassie,"

"By the time she gets here I'll be dead," I reason with her and she nods. She shakily takes the suture kit I bought for times like this then disinfects it and my wound and gives me a cloth to bite on. I almost pass out from the pain but Ruth's singing keeps me awake. When she's done stiching me with the help of YouTube, she disinfects it again and moves to clean all the other cuts. My body screams in pain but I can't cry because I'm afraid to feel the stinging on my face. My face is already stinging from the sweat but it would be much worse with tears.

When she's done, she fills my tub with ice and water then makes me sit. She leaves and I'm just in the water with my body numb. The water has slowly turned into the red colour due to my blood.

Ruth comes back and helps me out of the water then unplugs the drain. I turn on the shower and make it warm to warm me up and clean the dried up blood that hadn't gone off. I dry myself and wrap myself then go to my bedroom where Ruth is waiting with a hot cup of cocoa and chocolate chip cookies. I smile at her or atleast rty to then sit at the edge of the bed not really feeling hungry.

"Lemme just put ointment and wrap up the terrible ones then you can sleep," she does just that then hands me a very big shirt that won't touch any of my cuts then tucks me in and sings for me. I pretend to have fallen asleep and when she leaves, my eyes shoot open. I let silent tears fall but I'm not crying because of the physical pain, my heart is breaking and not even pain killers can stop the pain.

"Please stop," I plead with my aching heart while covering my ears.

Mother enters the room and looks at me and just scoffs.

"You're not my Courtney, I don't know why I ever had you. I wish you were the one that died that day," mother says to my limp body and leaves.

"Me too," I mutter.

My eyes refuse to close as the voices continue to point out all my flaws. I thought I could keep this in for the rest of the year but I can't. I need a break from myself and I know just who can help me. The tears stop and now I'm back in my numb state.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My alarm for school rings without me even getting a bit of sleep. I'm sure I look horrible but I have to cover up my scars on the face. I shower then get ready for school. I swallow my pain meds and apply the ointment. I don't bother covering my other cuts, I just put on my biggest pair of sweats and a bigger jumper. I blow dry my hair and then tie it in a messy bun. I look okay. Not my usual self but my scars aren't seen. I put on my crocs and grab my bag and phone then head to school.

My phone rings and I pick up without looking at the caller ID.

"Hello?" I speak with a raspy voice.

"Where are you?" Jase asks.

"On the way to school," I reply and end the call.

I enter the hallways and everyone looks at me and gasps but I pay them no mind.

'Even the most perfect of them all fall,'

'I heard that one of the new boys raped her,' 'Please, it wasn't rape if he had her consent, we all know she opens her legs for anything.'

'Is that Cassandra?'

I open my locker and put my bag inside and walk to class. Everyone looks at me curiously and I don't blame me. I'm stuck in a robotic state but I can't seem to snap out of it, it feels so relaxing. I don't feel good. I don't feel bad. I just don't feel. Class starts and I open my book but I don't pay attention. I'm lost in my mind daydreaming about a life where I have the best parents and best friends and the most perfect twin sister by my side.

"Ms. McAnderson I am talking to you," the teacher pulls me out of my head and I look at her with an emotionless face.

"What?" I ask.

"Are you even listening?" She asks frustratedly.

"No, no I'm not," I reply honestly.

"You think just because your parents are rich you will have everything handed to you on a silver spoon?" Mrs. Williams asks angrily.

"Yes, and I don't think. I know. I really don't know how my parents have to do with this anyways," I shrug.

"Go to the principal's office now," she screams.

"I'm sure uncle Shaun would be happy to see me," I give her a tight-lipped smile and leave the class but I don't head to the principal's office. I get out of school.

I sit on the stairs contemplating on whether I should make this call. The last time I did we almost went to juvie but his dad paid the owner of the boutique we had stolen from off..

"No one cares," I laugh and hit the call button. He picks up after a few rings and I smirk.

"Hey angel, nice to hear from you again,"

"Want to get out of town?" I ask.

"Pick a time and place," he says and I smirk then tell him to meet me at Starbucks.

I end the call and then I hear a footsteps behind me and look at the person behind me.

"What do you want Jake?" I ask.

"Look Cass I didn't- are you fine?," he asks and I shrug.

"I've been better, I'm sorry about last night," I say in my robotic tone. "I need to go," I say and walk away from him.

I head to Starbucks and I enter and get myself an espresso.

"You look like shit," Damon sits in front of me.

"Thanks D. I missed you too," I smile at him sarcastically.

"I missed you. What happened to never calling me again after we got arrested," he laughs.

"I still can't believe you tried to seduce the fucking officer," I say with a laugh, a real one. He always manages to help me forget with his humor.

"Hey at least she gave me her number, we met a week after," he winks at me.

"So what's up?" He asks.

"I'm in a really horrible place right now. I just want to have fun," I say with a sad smile.

"Let's get you wasted," he says and I dap him.

Damon is a typical bad boy. Covered in tattoos from neck to toe and had a lip, nose and ear piercing. Dark eyes and dark hair. He's hot and he's just 18.

We met at father's annual ball when we had just moved here. We escaped the party and went to a club. He had a fake ID and enough money to bribe the bouncer to let me in. I honestly don't remember what happened that night, all I know is that I woke up in a bed with D. Ever since then we became good friends. We have never slept together again, in fact we consider ourselves siblings. We talk once in a while. Him and Jase are my only real friends. They are my best friends.

"Where are we going?"

"Vegas baby," I say excitedly and he's eyes widen.

"You're not yet legal,"

"Well I hope you have my fake ID there with you," I smirk at him and he smirks back.

"Always," he winks and we get out of Starbucks.

"Ouu! Sasha's looking good," I say referring to his bike.

"I've been servicing her more," he smiles at me and I laugh.

"Let's head to my place first and pack then head to yours?" I ask and he nods his head.

We reach my house and I pack my nice dresses that keep my body hidden, my medicine and body makeup. I get my money that I always keep hidden in my bedroom and count it.

"How much is it?" Damon asks.

"3000 dollars we shall have to hit the ATM so I can withdraw more. I don't need my parents or anyone stalking me whenever I use it," I reply.

"I have 4500 dollars on me and my credit card," he shrugs and I smile.

"That will be more than enough," I say excitedly and we head out of the house.

We head to his house which is as big as mine. Our fathers are business partners. He packs a smaller bag than me and I look him curiously.

"I will just buy more clothes if they aren't enough," he shrugs.

"There's only a jumper and shorts in your bag," I laugh.

"Let's take my Vette," he says.

"When did you get one?" I ask in owe.

"I bought it last month," he shrugs.

"I just don't get why you street fight when your father has all this money," I shrug as we enter the car.

"It's fun and it's a great way to deal with my anger," he laughs and reverses out of the garage.

I get out my phone and head to Snapchat and begin recording.

"Vegas here we come!" I scream in excitement and Damon screams with me.

The Nights by Avicii starts playing, "Wuuuuuu." Both Damon and I scream and we dap and then end the snap and save it then post it on my snap story.