Beijing, Tokyo, Sydney -- these exciting cities are standard fare in the life of flight attendant Todd Eisenbraun, and he chases a romance with sexy-but-straight Josh through them all. Closer to home, a new neighbor in his San Francisco apartment building has a huge crush on Todd. His friends -- Katie, a flight attendant-turned-small appliance repairwoman, and Marzipan Q. Thespian, a man-dangling local philanthropist -- think Todd should at least give Chris a shot. Sure, he’s overweight, but he’s also handsome, a hilarious playwright, and a great cook ... what’s not to love? Todd and Chris become quick friends, but Todd’s idea of the perfect man is skinny and straight, and Chris is decidedly neither. Josh may have a fiancée and a teenaged son, but Todd just knows he’s “the One.” But if Josh is straight, the road to love is not; Todd is jostled by internalized homophobia, body image issues, exotic locales, the glamorous world of sewing machine repair, and a community theater musical salute to the life of Judy Garland before he arrives at the realization that he’s been looking way too hard for something he may have already found.

Kiss Me, Straight

“Don’t fret,” I admonished. “I’ll take a cup of coffee in the car and forget my Mentos. One whiff and he’ll be over me for good.”


“That’s a better plan,” she agreed. “That’d turn anybody off.”


I took a deliberately long swig from my mug and stuck out my tongue at her. 


“So now Liliana’s new favorite movie is Annie Get Your Gun,” Katie announced, referring to my five-year-old goddaughter. She put the soundtrack in the CD player. “We watched it a couple of times while you were gone so I could get some ideas. You’ve got to hear this song.” She scanned forward through the first several numbers until the CD player emitted a great cheer and beating drums, accompanied by a 1950s Hollywood idea of Native American chanting. She stepped away from the machine. “Listen.” 


Shortly, Betty Hutton burst out squawking, “Like the Seminole, Navajo, Kickapoo…” and proceeded to debase native cultures everywhere with her rendition of “I’m an Indian, Too.”


Chapter 43