Life's not easy when your mum's nuts, your uncle is becoming your aunt, and one of your crushes could -- and probably would -- break your face if he found out how you felt about him. That's Tab's life, though, malevolent gods and all. His text-flirting with Demi, the brother of his best friend, is going nowhere: Demi already has a boyfriend and anyway, who dates their best friend's twin? But then, the pining after Nick is going nowhere either, because Nick probably likes gay-bashing on Friday nights for fun. He's gorgeous, but he's dangerous, and Tab knows better than that. So what's a bit of harmless flirting, when one is taken and the other is straight? It's just a bit of fun. That is until Demi is suddenly single, and Nick is not looking as straight and scary as he was before.

The Suicidal Peanut

“Oh, are you drawing?” she asked, dropping her bag on one of the sofas and wandering over. “Nick said you were an artist.”


From anyone else, Tab might have fainted at the idea Nick talked about him, but from this bimbo, he was just angry. Go away,he thought in her direction as loudly as possible. Emigrate to China and don’t come back.


“That’s dead good,” she enthused, peering at the comic upside-down, and then grinned at Tab. She had very blue eyes, big and round. “Between you and me, I think it’s good Nick’s noticed your work, you know. He’s not very into art.” She rolled her eyes. “I’ve been trying to sweet-talk him into coming to the ballet…” Bingo! “…with me for ages, but he won’t do it.”


“I’m not really into dance,” Tab said.


“Well, there’s a lot of beating each other up, too,” Tab said flatly, but she only giggled. He squeezed his pen so hard it creaked. GO AWAY.


Chapter 36