Growing up is hard enough, but it’s worse as a pacifist whose country is at war. Jim and Brian are neighbors, best friends, and high school graduates heading for college. In 1970 the Vietnam War raged, and Brian and Jim, both pacifists, worry about being drafted. To make matters worse, both men are gay and far from out. When Brian finally admits his feelings for his friend, he’s surprised and pleased Jim feels the same. Brian’s father teaches jujitsu, and the two men learn the ancient art, though neither believes in fighting. They struggle to overcome their pacifist tendencies amid racial tension and homophobia that threatens to tear their lives -- and their love -- apart. Can Brian and Jim turn fear into courage and learn to defend themselves, and each other, to create a life of love?

Fear and Courage

“Do you think about guys when you jack off?”


“Maybe we could date—secretly, I mean. We’d never touch in public. You can trust me, I promise.” He lost his smile. “Unless there’s someone you’re hot on and are trying to get up the courage to confess or ask him out.”


Time stopped. So many thoughts raced around Brian’s mind before he settled his gaze on Dylan. “I don’t think I’m ready for dating—except for my best friend, Jim”He wanted to palm his full dick. “And I did come out to him. He’s gay, too.”


Dylan playfully bumped his shoulder. “Do you think I’m good-looking?” His tone had shifted from confident to insecure.


Brian’s neck and face heated as if he were cooking at the grill with Rico. “Um, yeah, I think so. Ah, yeah you are, you know.” And it was done. His first time to tell a guy he was hot, and it made Brian feel good, made him feel free, and it made him wonder if Jim might approve of what was going on. Why hadn’t he ever told Jim how sexy and hot he was?


Chapter 24