Growing up is hard enough, but it’s worse as a pacifist whose country is at war. Jim and Brian are neighbors, best friends, and high school graduates heading for college. In 1970 the Vietnam War raged, and Brian and Jim, both pacifists, worry about being drafted. To make matters worse, both men are gay and far from out. When Brian finally admits his feelings for his friend, he’s surprised and pleased Jim feels the same. Brian’s father teaches jujitsu, and the two men learn the ancient art, though neither believes in fighting. They struggle to overcome their pacifist tendencies amid racial tension and homophobia that threatens to tear their lives -- and their love -- apart. Can Brian and Jim turn fear into courage and learn to defend themselves, and each other, to create a life of love?

Fear and Courage

Brian had to ask. “Were you in Vietnam?” They nodded. “Were you afraid?”


The other one, tall, slender, with facial scars and a small lisp, said, “Everyone is, and it’s no sin to admit it. We’re afraid and the other side is, too. It’s winding down. I hope you don’t have to go. It’s hell.”


They all shook hands and went their separate ways. Michelle held Dad’s arm tight. “I’m proud of you.” She gazed toward Jim and Brian. “You, too.”


A sudden calm washed through Brian. “If I get drafted, then I’ll make the best of it.”


Brian’s uplifted mood didn’t last long, so two weeks before Christmas, on a Saturday morning, the boys drove again to San Francisco to experience more of the magnificent city. Jim said, “This will help you feel better. Only think of positive things.”


Brian tried to smile as he drove. “I never thought Dad would let us go. Bless Michelle for talking him into it.” A devious thought came to him. “Take your dick out and jack off.”


Chapter 77