Because other than some miraculous recovery for his Ma, the only thing Colin wanted in his life was to scream from every rooftop that he loved Dexter Erikson. Not shouting it out to everyone he saw on the streets was hard enough. And they were strangers. Not telling Dexter was even harder than not screaming it to everyone.
Whenever he saw Dexter, Colin wanted to tell him. Whenever he opened his mouth to say something, Colin had to make sure the words ‘I love you’ didn’t burst out first. When Dexter kissed him. When Dexter touched him. When Dexter sang to him. Before, during, and after sex. All Colin wanted to do was turn those soft moans into admissions of his love for Dexter. It’d gotten so dangerously close at times that he had to actually bite his tongue. No metaphors; Colin’s bitten down on his tongue to keep from saying it.