It’s about time writer Jonah Icicle takes Sandy Keye’s hand in marriage ... on Christmas Day! The Icicle family is upside down again and who better to rescue them? Jonah, of course. As a blizzard builds outside, his fiancé Sandy becomes concerned the storm might threaten their wedding day. No fear, though -- Jonah gears up and plows forward, ready to face the snow and the Icicles. A new addition to the family surprises him -- Magnum McKee, a snow buddy who happens to be his brother-in-law Bobo’s sexual therapy partner. Magnum causes a rift between Jonah’s two younger siblings, Jake and Willa. The brother and sister are in a face-off concerning Magnum’s position in Willa’s “threesome” marriage. Can Jonah smooth out their sibling rivalry before his happy day? His mohter Pam is hiding a secret. Where is she running off to again? Something is going on and Jonah must get to the bottom of it. And his father Bill hangs out in the neighbor’s basement. Jonah has to help put a stop to his straying before he ends up in the next town over. Throw a blizzard into the mix, Jonah’s bottom catching on fire, matching Christmas-themed briefs between Magnum and Bobo, a human snowman, and a wedding coordinator on cocaine. Despite all this, will Jonah have the perfect wedding on Christmas Day? Will he have the chance to marry the man he loves or not?

The Icicles: A Christmas Wedding

If this conversation were a real network show, some chatterbox getting-to-know-a-person-over-a-meal, a montage of colorful photographs would flash up on the viewers’ screens during Magnum’s long-winded spiel: Dr. Fentonall, Franco, the AWFT logo, Magic Magnum in his wrestling tights, and Jamey Dyle. The viewers would be quite pleased with a visual/verbiage connection, locked in and on the conversation, unable to change the channel. If this were the case, Jonah Icicle might just be the next Oprah Winfrey.


He’s not in Oprahland, though. Instead, Jonah’s locked somewhere inside his Pam and Bill’s dining room among his family, and asks Magnum, a complete stranger that he’s getting to know, “When you’re not coaching the young wrestlers, you work for Dr. Fentonall. Is this what you’re saying?”


“I do. It pays twice as much as wrestling for a living. I’m considered a sexual counselor.”


Chapter 14