Chapter 13: I'm Where I Belong

Dean and Sam thinks that it would be a good idea to stay in one place for a while so we can all take a small break from hunting. And by "we" they mean me. Dean and Sam have been chummy since Sam decided that he wasn't going to work with Ruby anymore so they go out together. While they're working on a case that sounds a lot like ghoul attacks, I have to sit in school. High school without Haydn is an unbearable thought but I can't talk my way out of going.

"Dean, I'm not going to use any of the garbage they teach me at this place and you know it"

"No, there are tons of things I learned in high school" He scoffs

"Like?"

Dean squints and looks towards the ceiling like he's thinking for a long time and then says "Let me get back to you on that"

I roll my eyes and appeal to the voice of reason "Sam, this is pointless. I'm a hunter, not a student"

"You might like it. I did. Plus you're fourteen which means you have another two years before you can drop out"

It feels like a punishment but Sam and Dean both seem genuinely amused when they drop me off in front of the school.

"I can just ditch?" I grumble

"Do you really want to try that?" Dean winks

"Jerks"

I know why they've sent me here. I've overheard them talking about it when they thought I was asleep. They think I need to be around kids my age. I guess I've been scaring them recently by doing my job too well. It doesn't matter where they send me, Haydn is the only other person I could relate to and nothing will change that. I'll never fit in. A tall, thin man with curly black hair greets me at the door. He has a British accent and introduces himself as Principal Black.

"Evan Tyler" I say and shake his hand

"Yes, Mr. Tyler, your father has instructed me to ring him as soon as you were properly away in class"

"My father, huh?" I roll my eyes

"Yes, your father" He affirms and starts rattling off a list of rules and protocols that he wants me to follow as he walks me to my first class.

"Failure to meet any of the standards will result in immediate suspension"

I tell him that I understand and he smiles brightly.

"Good. Then we should get on quite well, I imagine. Well, here we are; room 224. Arithmetic. Good luck" He nods and saunters away.

"Thanks" I say and head inside.

The entire class freezes as I walk through the door as if I had interrupted a private conversation that they were having and they were waiting for me to leave to continue it. The teacher, a short portly woman with lipstick smudges around the outline of her lips approaches me.

"Evan Tyler?"

"Yes, ma'am" I say down at her, she comes up just below my shoulder height wise.

"I'm Mrs. Belview, you can go have a seat wherever you like"

The class is staring at me and sizing me up. I can tell that they're trying to decide where I belong in their micro society. A pretty girl with red hair and freckles over the bridge of her nose motions to the empty seat next to her with her dark blue eyes. I walk over and sit down, and the teacher resumes her lesson.

"Hi, I'm Amber" The girl whispers to me

"Evan" I say

"Nice to meet you" She reaches a hand out and I grip it in mine for a second and release it. She smiles and flips her hair back. She's thin. Too thin, in my opinion, but I try not to judge because she seems friendly enough. When the school bell rings she walks next to me and asks for my schedule.

"What time do you have lunch?"

"Uh, I'm not sure" I shrug because she's holding my schedule and could easily check for herself.

"Fifth period, awesome. You can sit with me and my friends. So, where are you from?"

"All over. My Dad… and the Marines, so…"

"Oh, that's cool. What class do you have now?" She asks as she scans my schedule again, "Biology with Mr. Harold, room 106. He's pretty easy as long as you pretend that you're interested. My advice is sit at one of the tables with the nerds."

"The nerds?" I cock an eyebrow

"You'll know them when you see them. They have an aura." She giggles. I know she's trying to be cute but she's already beginning to annoy me

"Thanks for the heads up" I say with a quick nod and duck into my classroom

"See you at lunch" She calls after me

As much as I hate to admit it, she's right. The "nerdy kids" stick out like a bad 80's high school romantic comedy. Even if I had wanted to sit next to them, all of the seats are taken. I see a few slack-jawed stoners at the table who obviously are on the same page as Amber. I sit at an empty table and the class slowly begins to fill up. Before the late bell rings, I'm sitting at a table of three other people. Two guys wearing sports jackets and another thin girl with long black hair. I think about Haydn's dark hair when I see it. Haydn's hair wasn't as dark as this girl's and it wasn't as pin straight. I miss Haydn terribly.

"Are you new?" The guy with short blonde hair asks me over the chatter

"Yeah" I say

"Riley Scott" He says with a grin

"Evan Tyler"

"Where are you from?" The brown haired one asks

"All over. My Dad. Military" I say

"Really? Man, that's pretty badass. I have so much respect for the military, you know? I'm thinking of joining after I graduate. I'm Jake by the way"

"Hey"

"Did you meet Principal Black yet?" The girl says. Her lips curve up in a delicate smile. I bring my eyes back up to meet hers. Her eyes are deep brown.

"Yeah"

"He's a total dick. Watch out for him because you do not want to be on his bad side"

"I'll keep that in mind"

"Jen has been on Black's shit list since last year when she blew the lacrosse championship" Jake snickers

"I didn't blow it. I fainted" Jen explains to me, "Black's just a jerk"

"Ms. Ellison, do you have something to share with the class?" The Man standing in front of the class says. I didn't realize that the teacher had come in.

"Sorry, Mr. Harold" Jen says and tucks a hair behind her ear shyly. When she puts her hand back on the table it brushes against mine. Her skin is so soft and smooth. I wonder if her long neck is as smooth. It looks like rich, creamy, milk chocolate and I want to taste it. I look away from her and concentrate on what the teacher is saying. I can't believe I let myself think those thoughts about another girl. I hope Haydn forgives me when we meet up again. Jake, Riley, and Jen chatter quietly for the remainder of class. Jake is in another class of mine right after so he sits next to me. Some guy comes in a little late and looks at Jake in frustration so I assume that seat was his until today. When lunchtime rolls around Amber finds me on the buffet line and tells me to come sit with her and her friends. I almost object but I see Jen sitting in the corner, and she's looking right at me. She waves at me and I pretend not to see her. I sit at Amber's table. She introduces me to all of her other skinny friends and their skinny boyfriends as if we're long time friends and talks until I get a headache. I'm not coming back here tomorrow. I don't care if I have to beg and cry.

"Stop crying" Dean rolls his eyes at me

"Please tell me that you've at least closed in on this things so you can kill it and we can get out of here"

"We're working on it" Sam says but a little too casually.

"What are you guys even doing here?" I demand. "Shouldn't you be out trying to catch this thing?"

"Uh, yeah. Yup" Sam nods, "We just came back for a few minutes to-"

"To see how your day was" Dean finishes for him with a grin

"What the hell is going on here? Did you guys already kill it or something?"

Sam and Dean look at each other guiltily.

"Then what the hell are we even doing here? Let's go!"

"Evan, you have to go to school sometimes. I did it and Sam did it, now it's your turn. If you want, you can drop out at sixteen and get your GED"

"Why do I need a GED? I'm a hunter!"

"Yeah well maybe" Dean says, his voice tone drops a little bit so I know he's getting more serious, "but this thing you're doing now? Travelling around with us, cooped up in the car or in random shady motels 24/7 isn't good for you. You need to be around kids your own age"

"Why?"

"Because you're growing up too fast" Sam says flatly, "you're losing yourself in the job, Evan"

"What you did the other night…"

"You said it was awesome" I frown

"It was also a wake up call" Dean says, "plus high school isn't so bad. You got cheerleaders…"

"And?"

"You need more?"

I lose my virginity on a cold October night in Riley Scott's basement. I didn't want to go to the party but Sam and Dean were off to October fest to go work on a case. I was home alone and I was bored and frankly a little sore that my brothers decided not to take me along with them, so when Amber called and asked if I would take her to the party, I agreed. I bet she didn't expect me to pick her up from her place in a taxi but then again, I didn't expect her to show up wearing a bra and shorts in the middle of October when it was freezing cold outside.

"You look so handsome" She smiled at me even though I was still wearing the same clothes that she had seen me in at school earlier that same day.

Riley's parents were out of town so he decided to throw a massive party at his house. I don't know how they would react when they came back and saw the place a wreck but Riley obviously didn't care. Dad would've kicked my ass if I even thought about doing something like this. Then again, I'd never think about doing anything close to this ever so I guess Dad wouldn't have to worry about it… If he was alive…

Amber keeps smiling at me. I can tell that she likes me but I can't help but compare her to Haydn all the time and she pales in comparison. It isn't her fault that Haydn was perfect, but it's not my fault either, so I can't help that I don't have feelings for Amber. Riley's house is vibrating from the blasting music. He greets me with a hug and a beer. He's always been friendly with me but after gym last week, when he saw me hit a ball out of the park during our baseball unit, he hasn't left me alone. I don't know what he'll think when we start football next week but I'm sure he won't be as impressed.

"Super star and Amber alert!" Riley laughs, he's clearly drunk and Amber gives him a scowl. Riley and Amber never got along from what I've heard. I wonder why she wanted to come to his party so badly. Then it occurs to me that at least half of the school is at this party. Amber is drunk within an hour. Toddie Markins strokes her hair soothingly and tells her he'll take care of her. My fist meets his nose before his lips touch her face. Dean has a saying about hooking up with drunk girls when you're sober. No. Toddie's nose is gushing blood. I clench my fist expecting a fight but he just curls up on the floor and cries. Riley kicks him and tells him to get the hell out. Amber vomits and I send her home in a cab. Jake loops an arm around my shoulders and hands me a cup full of a strong smelling liquid. Maybe scotch. I drink it all in one gulp.

"Atta boy!" He titters, "look who's here!" He says and points across the room at Jen. She's wearing a formfitting blue dress with a low-cut V-neck. I can see the curve of her breasts very easily even in the poor lighting of the house. I like to think it was the booze that made me approach her but in reality, I wasn't even buzzed by the alcohol yet. My tolerance was higher than most kids my age.

"You look nice" I say. I can hardly hear myself over the music

"What?" She says because she can't hear me either

"I said; you look nice!" I shout

"What?" She shouts back

I see a staircase leading down to the basement and I point to it. I follow her to the basement.

"I said that you look nice" I smile

"Thanks. It's my sister's dress"

Jen's sister's dress is discarded on the floor a half an hour later and I'm running my hands over her stomach and chest. The feeling of Jen's boobs in my hands is indescribable. They're so soft and plump, but nothing I had ever imagined or expected after watching hours of Internet porn. I had always pictured them as feeling doughy and floppy but they're so much better than that. Jen's skin doesn't taste like chocolate but as I suck on her neck, I realize that I don't want her to taste like candy. She gasps and her breaths come out shallow and jagged. I'm so sexually excited that I have to stop kissing her to calm back down before I have… an accident. Jen sits back up on the couch that we had stretched out on and says that she's a virgin.

"Me too" I say

"I'm a little scared"

"Me too"

"Will it hurt?"

"I don't know"

"Do you have a… a thing?"

I shake my head no. I wasn't anticipating this at all, in fact if I had known that I would be in this situation before I left, I may have just stayed at the apartment.

"Me neither" She says, "but my sister says that if a guy takes…it out in time, a girl can't get pregnant"

I don't know if that's true, my brothers always say "no glove, no love", but right now I don't think I could get up and walk away if I tried. Jen reaches around to her back and unclasps her bra. All this time I've been touching her boobs, I haven't seen them naked. I try my best to control my urge to start thrusting my hips at the air in anticipation.

"I'll pull out if you want." I breathe

"Okay"

"Can I see…it?" She asks and I remove my pants and boxers. I don't feel self-conscious as she stares at my naked privates but it makes me feel pretty good to see her eyes widen in shock.

"Is it going to hurt?" She asks me again. This time I don't answer. I kiss her long and deep.

"Evan, do you love me?" Jen pants when she comes back up for air

"What?" I say trying to catch my breath

"My mom says that you shouldn't go all the way with someone unless they love you"

I'm so worked up by the sight of her beautiful naked body that I want to beg her to just shut up and let me touch her.

"Jen, do you want to do this?" I ask her

"Will it hurt?"

"Maybe"

Jen pulls her panties down her thighs and I take them off the rest of the way. I don't know how much longer I can stand this. I've never seen a naked girl in person before and I always thought that if I had, I would be romantic and suave, but all I want is to be inside of her. I can almost feel it. She looks apprehensive about it but I decide to test the waters as slowly as I can manage. I kiss her lips gently and grope her breasts, and then I move slowly down her neck and start to suck. With one hand I align myself and then I move my mouth down to her boobs. As she shudders and grabs my back with both of her hands, I push myself inside of her. She gasps out loudly and I stop.

"Are you okay?" I make myself look at her eyes because if I don't, I'm sure I'll just start hammering away at her and not care about how she feels. She nods and I push in further. She's in noticeable pain now but I can feel my body start moving automatically. She shuts her eyes tight and bites her lip.

"Jenny, do you want me to stop?" I say and force my hips to stop moving. Jen's eyes are still shut so I touch the back of my hand to her cheek in a gentle caress.

"Look at me" I whisper. I should get an award for self-control. Jen opens her eyes.

"Are you okay?" I say again

"Yes. It hurts. I'm okay" She whimpers "Go. Go"

That's all I need to hear before I start moving again. It didn't last long and I don't know if she got anything out of that experience besides pain, but the way she kissed me and hugged her arms around my neck afterwards, despite the fact that I didn't pull out in time, meant a lot to me.

"You're not bleeding" I say, "I thought that when girls are virgins…"

"Gymnastics" She says and reaches down to grab her sister's dress off of the floor, "you won't tell everyone about this, right?"

"I won't if you don't" I grin and pull my pants back on

"Am I a whore?" Jen asks quietly once she's dressed again

"I don't know what a 'whore' is, but if there was a such thing, you wouldn't be one" I smile and kiss her. She's beautiful and I'm glad that she's my friend, but I can't help but to feel horrendously guilty that I shared my first time with someone other than Haydn. Maybe she'll never forgive me for that.

When I go to school the next day, the seat next to Amber is taken. She doesn't look at me when I come in but a lot of other people do. I take a seat in the back of the classroom and Tom… something or other… leans over and whispers to me.

"Dude, did you really clobber the hell out of Toddie at Riley's party last night?"

I roll my eyes and take my books out and he leaves me alone. When I walk through the hallway, alone this time, everyone is watching me and talking. So much for low profile; sorry Sam.

Riley, Jake, and Jen are already at the table when I get to Biology. I take my usual seat next to Jen and she giggles. If she wants what happened between us to be a secret, she's going to have to try harder than that.

"Oh my God Ev, you're the talk of the school." Jake whispers with a grin

"Because of the whole Toddie thing?"

"You broke up with Amber?"

"What? Amber and I never-"

"They're saying that last night Toddie was trying to make a move on Amber and you smashed his face and then sent Amber home"

"That's not how it happened"

"I can't believe you broke up with Amber. Amber of all chicks, dude, she is hot. No offense Jen"

"I was never with Amber"

"Then why'd you get pissed off when Toddie tried to talk to her?" He scoffs

"Because she was drunk?"

"So?"

Riley looks back and forth between me and Jen and then winks at me. I can tell this is going to be a long day. By the time my lunch period came along there were several stories about what happened at Riley's floating around. The most popular version is that I caught Toddie and Amber dancing together and I threw Toddie against the wall, in front of four witnesses, and slurred "Ain't nobody gonna put his hands on my woman" (because I was both extremely drunk and apparently Texan, since that's the accent used during the reenactment), and then I beat Toddie unconscious and began to choke his unconscious body. Amber was screaming and crying for me to stop and then I told her that we were over, and that she would "get ta movin'" if she knew what was good for her, so she ran home on foot. Then in my jealous and drunken stupor, I grabbed Jen and banged her in Riley's parent's upstairs closet. I guess the secret is out about Jen and me. I hope she isn't too upset by it. I don't think she is because she beckoned me to her table when she saw me looking for a place to sit with my lunch tray.

"What a day, huh?" She huffs when I take the seat across from her. People are staring at us and Amber is giving us dirty looks. You would think that she actually believed these rumors too if you didn't know that she was actually there and knows what really happened.

"Just ignore them" I tell Jen and start to eat

"It doesn't bother you?"

I shake my head no and shrug. I really don't care about what these people think of me. I care what Haydn will think of me when I tell her. I hope she'll forgive me since I don't like Jen as anything more than a friend.

"So what do we do now?" Jen asks

"Nothing" I shrug again

"Everyone is going to think I'm the biggest whore in the world if we don't do something"

"I won't think you're a whore" I say and take another bite of my sandwich

"I didn't say you" She smiles

"You said 'everyone'" I smile back briefly and take another bite

"I meant everyone else"

"Who cares what they think?"

"I do, kind of… Now what if nobody asks me to the homecoming dance?" She mutters

I don't answer. I take a sip of my juice box and grimace. These things are way too sweet.

"I was hoping that maybe, if you weren't going with Amber, maybe we could just go… or whatever…"

I stop eating and look at her, trying to think of the best way to tell her no, when my phone vibrates.

"Hello?"

"We're outside, come on let's hit the road" Dean says

"Okay" I tell Jen that I have to use the restroom, run out of the cafeteria, and sneak out of the side of the building. The Impala is waiting for me and I slide inside.

My brothers fill me in on their last case as we drive. Dean tells me that he re-lost his virginity to some hot chick. I tell him that I did too and he laughs and demands all of the details. I describe Jen as accurately as possible and Dean is so elated that he tells me that tonight we're going to celebrate me becoming a man, Winchester style. We celebrate so much that I still feel drunk when I wake up the next morning, that is, if you can have a hangover and be drunk at the same time. Sam and Dean keep laughing and poking fun at me as I lay across the backseat holding my head in my hands. They were never this amused when I had hangovers in the past but I'm older now so they know I can handle the alcohol. As we drive out of the state, I wonder who will take Jen to the homecoming dance. I hope it's not Toddie Markins.