chapter 14

Stefan started feeling dizzy. He felt as if he was going to passed out. "I need to go. I need to find my Sara." He says as he almost stumble back, leaving the residences. Not caring about the couple and his child Hanie looking at him confusingly, because he did not walked to his car.

He walks out, took out his phone from his pants pocket and dialed Sara's contact number while heading home. But none from the other side. He crosses the street still woozy and getting worst. Spontaneously, a car comes rushing at him and he managed to jump out of the way before he realizes it.

He closes his eyes thinking he got hit but when he reopens them, his back against a lamp post. "God, I need to find Sara." He keeps on repeating. Even when his phone ring he answered it without knowing who is the caller, hoping it was his former wife.

"Hey, Stefan, where are you!? Are you prepared? Our wedding ceremony is in a few hours. You better don't ruined it." Stefan ends the call from Tiffany. He couldn't be bothered with the wedding issues and all. All he desperately needs right now is, Sara.

After an hour passes by, reaching his apartment and hurriedly to his room. Ignoring his brother calling for him from the living room. He plops himself onto the bed, with his head pumping and his body sweating out of control.

Again, he tried calling. This time, finally Sara answers the calls. His eyes wide as silent tears streamed down his cheeks. His lips formed a hard line and he stood up from the bed abruptly.

"Sara, please. Please, don't put down the phone. Baby, I'm sorry, I- augh!" Stefan gasp in pain and almost dropped his phone as he breath for air in difficulty when a sharp and throbbing pain stabbed his chest. He could hear Sara yelling, freaking out and clueless on what's happening from the other side.

Stefan felt so hurt, inside and out, because he has proven ruined everything with her and now, he suddenly felt like he might die. He might be dying and he could die without fixing things right with Sara. - However, Sara wouldn't be upset if he died. He thought. He'd just wasn't sure actually. She won't be suffering after what he did to her. Stefan completely collapsed with his own horrible thoughts.

#

Worried Dylan rushes his only brother to the emergency department and the doctor insisted he stay the night for they need to ran a few tests. Stefan woke up in a clean white room and he couldn't fall asleep back because he suddenly felt terrified. He didn't have the faintest idea what could be wrong with his health, but he was too afraid to ask in case it was serious. He'd been a bad person and now here he was, and he might not ever get the chance to fix it.

Stefan closed his eyes tightly and waited for whatever they'd given him for the pain to kick in. He clenched his teeth and put his palm onto his mouth from screaming of horrible pain. It hurts to sob, but once he'd started, he couldn't stop.

Blinking away tears just in time when Dylan came into the room to relayed a message. "Sara is on her way here." That, enough to calm him down a bit although it frightened him a little at how badly he wanted to hug her and never let go.

Soon, sooner than he expected, Sara was there, and even though he was foggy from pain meds, he heard concerned voices. Sara was almost could be heard shouting at a nurse about something and then she was at Stefan's side, grabbing at his hand and mumbling something.

Sara had come to see him, he had to focus, to listen, to pay attention to him.

"Stefan, can you hear me? I'm here, my love." There was some sort of emotion in her voice but Stefan couldn't pick out exactly what it was.

"Stefan, I know you're not going to remember anything I'm saying even if you can hear me. But when I'm with you, I'm with you and that's who I want to be with. Because, I love you, alright? I love you."

Stefan frowned and opened his mouth struggling to speak but he couldn't, there was another voice. Sara backed away from him. He wants her to stay near him but the sounds never came as the drugs washed over him and dragged him into a deep sleep.

When he woke up, the pain has fade, and Sara was gone, but a smart looking man in white coat was standing next to his bed holding a clipboard. "Good morning, Stefan. I've got your tests results with me. If you are ready, shall I?"

Stefan nodded weakly. "What's wrong with me?" His tired voice asked. The doctor said a lot of things that he didn't understand but he definitely heard the word "heart" a few times and the word "apologies."

The doctor looked a little nervous, especially when Stefan asked him to repeat himself in simple terms. He fidgeted with the papers on his clipboard for a moment before he spoke. "Heart disease. The problem with your heart... you'll need a heart transplant from a healthy donor, for you to be able to live longer."

"When do you think I'll be able to get it done?"

There was an awkward sort of pause. "Truthfully speaking, as soon as we managed to find you a new heart recipient. Now, you've got someone waiting to see you outside. I'll leave you. Rest well."

Sara stepped in and rushed over to him when she saw the doctor left the room. She looked puffy, her pair of beautiful eyes swollen red. Before Stefan could say anything, she cupped his pale cheeks.

"Let me speak first. I've lost you once, Stefan, and I don't want you to leave me again, please." Sara leaned down and kissed his forehead. "It's going to be alright. We will find the donor. We will." Sara didn't sound like she believed it, well, Stefan didn't believe it, either.

That noon, Stefan had to sign a bunch of papers so that surgeons could operate on him once they found the recipient and another paper that made him and Sara argue for a moment. DNR or 'Do Not Resuscitate' papers. It is indicating that he does not want to receive cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) if his heart stops beating. Before surgery or during surgery.

"Sara, my baby, I'm telling you to hope for the best, but we must prepare for the worst too." Stefan tells her, and she blinks, reaching up to clutch at her chest as the pain nearly tears her in half.

She takes a deep breath but the pain is too much. It bubbles up and spills out of her throat as a harsh sob. "I'm telling you this, our daughter is a fighter. She's stubborn just like you, but she never, ever, once gives up. So, you too, must not give up." Sara said at the same time crying so hard she can't breathe properly, she's terrified of the next scene incoming. Stefan holds onto her but it doesn't do much good.

"My love, of course, she's my baby girl, I know. But there is only so much the human body can take. At this point, all we can do is wait." He says confidently although his voice full of anguish and pain. He isn't strong, not him.

He can almost feel himself cracking. He can feel his heart bleeding when he wipes the tears from her face before he gently pulled the love of his life forward to lay with him on the bed. He wants to hold her for a second longer. When she tried to pull away, Stefan held him tighter.

"Stay.. Please."

Sara looked at him pityingly. He pouted at her. Now Sara is thinking, happily ever after is a cruel joke, and, how do you tell someone you love you're never seeing them again?