Chapter 12

Benja? He heard the frightened tone of his question and looked at her face. She was worried, which was not surprising, as she did not have the habit of standing like a stick in the hallway for minutes and minutes. He didn't know exactly how long he had been there, but when he looked at the kitchen he saw that the table they had eaten was fully collected.

-What's the matter, Benja? -Cami pressed him, approaching him.

-Nothing. I'm all right.

-Is it about computer gaming? -Cami insisted.

-I'm really okay.

-You have a very rare face to be good.

If she hadn't approached her, if she hadn't touched her arm and wasn't looking at her with the frowning...

-Don't follow, please.

-Don't follow how?

-Nothing, it's not your fault.

-What is not my fault?

-Nothing. Nothing at all.

- Benja? -even the way he pronounced his name, half-opening his lips at the end, made him shudder.

-It's that... -i knew i shouldn't speak, but i couldn't help it.- A week ago since we saw Dr. Stern, when you had the tear. And I can't stop thinking that if our marriage were normal, if we didn't have that premarital agreement, I could... nothing would happen because we now made love. At the moment there is nothing else in the world that wants to do. So when you touch me, I don't know if I'm going to get under control.

Cami pulled her hand out slowly. It was almost fun for him. The previous week he had shared his need. He remembered that dialog about cold showers... but it was evident that he no longer felt the same.

Benja had stayed away from her for the whole week. But, although Cami did seem to have serenaded her, he had not served to cool her excitement.

"Don't ask me to help you, please- Cami replied, finally. Because it is costing me as much as you will resist - he confessed, to Benja's surprise.

Her eyes met and, seconds later, with a desperate urgency, her mouths did the same.

He trembled. He had not been aware of how much he had been repressing until that precise moment. And now I hadn't gone back.

Benja kissed her with tenderness and anxiety at the same time. He had his palms resting on the door, on both sides of Cami, squeezing her and squeezing her chest against her breasts.

Her might have disliked her impatience, but that was not the case. It seemed that both had been waiting for a long time. Too much. He separated his lips and noticed his tongue next to his own. Then he felt his legs were flaccing and clung to him not to fall to the floor.

-I suppose... my bedroom... is much more comfortable," Benja proposed without resurrecting.

Unable to cover the distance to bed without touching, they made the journey through stages, stopping every few steps to kiss and hug, as if a separation of more than a second could break the charm.

The bedroom windows were covered by rod blinds, through which the moonlight leaked through. The bed was unmade. They fell together. Or maybe it was Benja who threw it, because it was Cami who ended up over it.

The only thing that mattered was that their bodies were glued together, burning. He didn't bother unfastening the buttons on the jacket, but just pulled it out of his head and snorted at his breasts adorned with a black lingerie bra... which he quickly got rid of.

She was also looking forward to seeing him naked and when they finally went through skin to skin, from end to end and reached orgasm, they felt ecstatic:

-Is this really the first time we have ever slept? -Benja whispered- . Every time I've thought about this moment, and I've done almost nothing else since I've known you!, I feel like we've been together. It's such a nice, familiar feeling...

-I know what you mean- agreed Cami.

They kept quiet for a long time and when they finally came down from the clouds, they both fell asleep. Benja's hair fell on her shoulder, one of whose breasts rubbed his hand.

Cami woke up first, an hour later. Then, when she saw her husband's powerful arm covering her stomach, she felt like she cried with happiness.

«This is my site. Benja and I belong to us. I have never felt so comfortable in life», she thought excited.

Benja was still half asleep, with relaxed expression and a happy smile on her lips. He looked at him and abandoned himself to the pleasure of listing all the things he liked about him. To make him love had been fabulous, but still, he could not claim that it was his body that he most appreciated Benja. It was, quite simply, him.

And his family. After the conversation they had had in the morning with Coco and Philip, in which he had noticed his sincere affection for her, he had lost his distrust of him. He would soon learn to want him as a Red, just as he had already begun to encarar Thomas, Louis, JC and Rosalina.

Rosalina... It was the kind of mother who had always wanted for herself. A mother who fulfilled her role with pleasure, who enjoyed being it; not like her, whose only concern was not to look like it.

«Maybe it's being unfair», Cami conceded. «I haven't given Mum a chance. I still didn't tell her about the twins and she was so distracted last week that she didn't even wait for her to give her my new phone number».

Suddenly, he wanted to cross the distance that kept them away. He even felt bad for having diverted all his love and faithfulness to Rosalina Rojas.

Benja was still asleep. I had worked hard during the previous week, lying down after midnight to wake up at six every morning. It was logical that it was exhausted and recovering.

He pulled away his hand with which one of his breasts was rubbing and managed to get out of bed without disturbing his sleep. He then dressed in silence and as he put on one garment and another remembered how Benja had removed them before. He was so excited that he was glad he was still asleep, otherwise he would have returned to the bed to squeeze to his side.

He went to the living room, unhung the phone and dialed his mother's number. I hadn't planned on how to tell him about the twins, but I was hoping that they could talk quietly on that occasion.

-Say? -Nora answered after three beeps.

-Hi, Mum...

-Cami can't believe you didn't call before!-Nora exclaimed-I didn't have your phone!

-I know, Mum. Sorry to hear that. Can we talk now?

-Speak? I really want to cry. They have not given him paper! They changed the script at the last minute and removed his character," the mother said, indignant.

-It's a cruel profession. Don't you think you should try to do something else after fifteen years?

-Don't understand it, right?

-I suppose I don't-, Cami acknowledged. But I'm going to tell you something that maybe a little cheery.

-Seriously, honey? -Nora asked, unconvinced.

-Benja and me... well, we're waiting for twins for February.

- Holy heaven!, what a horror!

-What! -Cami exclaimed, amazed.

-Well, it's fine if you're happy and that-, the mother said. But you will never recover the line again. You know, don't you? A baby is already noticed...

-I don't care about the line at this time-, Cami replied, striving to contain her anger. Last week I had a problem, but now I'm fine and the only thing that matters is that everything goes well.

-Problem?, with pregnancy?

-Yes, but it hasn't happened...

-Many women have abortions, especially when expecting twins.

-I know, and precisely because of that…

-Honey, it may sound a little violent, but believe me, I'm just thinking about you: If it ended up happening, take it as a gift from heaven. It's clear that you've been married because you were pregnant. I found that of the wedding too hasty from the beginning. But if nature wants to make you the favor of giving your marriage a chance, thank God. It is not good to force a man to marry because you have become pregnant and steal his freedom before he is ready. You can separate yourself and then, if you want, start again from scratch, without ties-, said Nora. Suddenly, Matt's voice was heard on the other side of the set. Matt, honey. Cindy called for us to eat together... No, now I'm talking to Cami. The poor woman is pregnant with twins and is going to have a natural abortion... -Hey, fondness, I have to hang up- the mother added.

-Point at my phone number- said Cami, with a knot in her throat.

-Wait for me to grab a pen... Shoot! Half a minute later, Cami hung up the phone. It was evident that between her mother and her there was an insurmountable distance.

«My babies, our babies, are more important than Matt's film, than my line and Benja's freedom. I know I'm not wrong. I will not lose them», he said.

«I couldn't support it. He would never lose babies and Benja», he thought distressed.

So, after that disappointing call, he stayed on the couch in the living room, with his eyes lost in the vacuum, until a movement made him realize that Benja was awake and watching.

Cami was forced to smile and got a lazy smile from Benja as a reward.

-What's wrong with you? -he asked him.

-Nothing. I'm fine, she lied. And you? You had to be tired. You've slept a good time.

-I feel fantastic -Benja said, who noticed that Cami was dressed. It looks like you have been awake for a while.

-I haven't actually slept - she lied again. I've been reading for a while-, he added, pointing to a table where, luckily, there was a magazine.

Although he had not meditated thoroughly, he had the heart that it was fundamental not to let him know how much he had affected her to have made love with him. Benja should not think that it had been anything special; that he had fallen in love with him even more. Above all, I shouldn't know that I was looking forward to achieving that ecstatic sensation again and again.

He did not understand why he wanted to hide his feelings so much until an hour later, in the bathroom, he discovered that he had bled again. Just a little, but enough to lose nerves. Benja had gone out to buy milk and the newspaper, which allowed him to save him the displeasure. He called Dr. Stern secretly and he suggested that they refrain from making love until the fourth month of pregnancy. «We must not make love again. We should never have done that», Cami thought. «I wanted, I still want to... but if making love endangers the life of my babies, I will end up losing Benja too, and I cannot lose it».

No, he definitely couldn't confess that he had fallen in love with him. Because Benja, in the most optimistic moments, had spoken that his marriage could last if respected, for the sake of the baby. But I hadn't spoken of love at any time.

Respect. Just as that word did not define at all what Cami felt toward him, the term marital relations did not fit in at all with the happiness that had invaded her in the bed, next to Benja.

He thought life was ironic, because to have a chance to hold it back, he would have to pretend that he didn't want it at all.

He had pretending. It was the only thing that happened to him to explain Cami's change of attitude. In reality, I had no interest in the newspaper, but had used it as an excuse to leave.

After passing through a kiosk, he approached a milk shop, unable to understand how badly he was, how well he had felt an hour earlier. I had woken up on a wrinkled bed, imbued with the aroma of Cami, gloriously warm.

He had stretched, enjoying his nakedness, waiting to see him return and kiss her again.

As it didn't appear, she had dressed in any way, eager to caress her; not necessarily to get her back into bed, but because it was beautiful.

He had a heart filled with joy. In fact, I was a little scared of so much happiness. Mary had done so much harm that she no longer knew if she believed in love... even if she wanted to feel it again.

It was too dangerous. He had stretched, enjoying his nakedness, waiting to see him return and kiss her again.

As it didn't appear, she had dressed in any way, eager to caress her; not necessarily to get her back into bed, but because it was beautiful.

He had a heart filled with joy. In fact, I was a little scared of so much happiness. Mary had done so much harm that she no longer knew if she believed in love... even if she wanted to feel it again.

It was too dangerous.

Indeed, when he arrived home, Cami apologized that he could not speak at that time because he was cooking and, by the way, Philip had called, like his mother and a certain Zeke.

-When? -Benja asked with the frowning.

-A few minutes ago. All three calls in a row. I've pointed it all to you - he replied, forcing himself to smile. Why did it act like this? Did you aspire to win the title of secretary of the month?

-Cami…

-Felipe said it was urgent.

-It's okay. I'll call you right away.

-And...

-Yes, yes, Zeke Butterfield and mum.

-I was chatting with her for a while.

-I'm glad.

Gave him a recious look; the third in half a minute. Why was he talking to you in such a weird tone? A sad and melancholic tone... why?

Several weeks passed and Benja went unwittingly.

This marriage is falling apart.