Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Stuck

I sipped on my double dutch shake as I scroll on my Instagram news feed. My favorite online boutique has posted new sets of outfits and I'm dying to buy them! Especially the pink one with the lacy details on top!

“Augustine,” Ivy called.

“Hmm,” I responded nonchalantly, my attention was glued to the phone.

“Can you tell us what really happened last Friday? We were expecting you but you did not show up. What's that?”

I looked at her sideways.

She raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. Her face is telling me that she doesn't believe what I told them.

“Can you drop that question? You're being so nosy! I had to go home, okay? That's it!” I made face and went to scrolling again.

“What is your problem?”

“Nothing! Just shut up, okay?” I snapped.

Everyone looked at us.

“You're so weird right now, you know?”

She looked incredulous. It's like I said something offending to her when all I want is for her to shut her mouth. I just looked at her dismissively because our professor had already come into the class. She grimaced at me and turned to the front.

I tried to focus in the classes but I couldn't keep myself intact. I have preoccupied again with what happened last Friday. I'm trying my best to forget it because I don't want that to ruin my vacation. Ugh! I need to be emotionally and mentally stable so I could at least enjoy my day!

“You seem bothered since Monday, August. I want to believe you but Ivy seems to be right. Did something happen?” Thea asked on a Wednesday morning.

I turned to her. She's right. I know Thea as much as she knows me. I know, just like Ivy, she's worried, too. But she's not as pushy as Ivy. Thea knows when to ask. Ivy is just so straightforward. And very pushy.

We're on our usual spot in one of our school cafeterias, waiting for Ivy. It's been a few minutes and that bixxh's ‘omw’ is still not happening.

I sighed. I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came. I just don't know what to say.

Thea noticed it and she suddenly looked more worried. Before I could say anything to falsify her thoughts, she already talked.

“We really need to go unwind! That's after finals and before summer break!” she decided with so much conviction.

That's what we talked about for the next few days. Ivy stopped asking me about what happened last Friday that I'm convinced she would never ask me again. She was so excited that even at night, she keep sending details about the pool and beach resorts we are choosing. I was also able to stop thinking about it much.

“Yesss!!! Finally, beach!!!” Ivy exclaimed as she swung herself, her arms are wide-open.

Yes, finally, because our classes have ended with flying colors! All of us aced our final exams, plus we are also getting recognitions for our school performances!

It's just the three of us now. We did not invite our boyfriends because I said so. Well, I wouldn't mind if they invite theirs but I'm pretty sure they would question mine. I want to enjoy this unwinding and with our boyfriends here, I don't think we could.

“This outing would have been better if we're with our boyfriends!” Ivy looked at me.

I ignored her and continued fixing our table.

“Ivy! I actually prefer without them!” Thea said.

Our eyes met but hers immediately turned back to Ivy. I know she's trying to make things easier for me and I thank her for that.

“It's been a long time since we had this trio bonding!“ she added.

“Alright, alright! I know that! I just miss my boyfriend so much!”

“Didn't you just have a phone call with him earlier?” Thea probed.

“Well, that was earlier!”

“Oh my, god.”

And their argument started again.

Well, not that I care if they go world war. I just want to unwind and let myself go with the flow of the brisk air and waves of salt waters.

This is pretty much one of my favorite places here in Luzon. It's an exclusive resort. So, most people you will see here are well-off. That also explains why their ticket is costly. Well, everything in this beach resort is just as fancy as the price. But I did not choose here only because of its price. I loved its ambiance, the wind is soothing and relaxing. And now, I have another more reasons to like this beach because this is also the same beach my saviour brought me in. And seeing this place again after a few weeks gave me the same feelings I had that moment — fear, reassurance, and peace. It's like it just happened a while ago.

I went to the same spot where I was the last I was here. In my retro bikini underneath my short shorts and white see-through dress, I could feel the wind as it sways. My wavy, long blonde hair is also dancing to it. The sun brights like it's just a normal day with a warm temperature. But deep within me are my freezing memories of what happened just a few weeks ago and some other things I so want to forget.

For the past few weeks, I have been trying so hard not to let my last fateful situation drive my emotions. That was one of the most disturbing events in my life. I was almost violated. I could have even killed for all I know. The trauma left in me created another scar. I don't even know if the others are healed. I'm just letting them heal alone, not doing anything for me to fast recover.

But this feeling of hopelessness, fear, and aggression is eating me up. I could go on a day easily, that is true. I'm with my driver most of the time. I'm just in school every day. I have all the reasons to be physically safe. But each time I walk, it feels like someone is behind me.

I stayed just sitting there and watching the sea as it crashes to the shore. Its sounds may be crackling but it still gives me chill like no other. It's like a piece of music. An orchestral piece you would love to put in your bed to sleep. I would shut my eyes just so I could feel it in my bones.

“August.”

Hearing my name felt like someone snapped their fingers in my ears. But recognizing it was Thea made me comfortable.

When I unclosed my eyes, the sky was already painted in orange, yellow, and dark gray, and the sun, though bright, looks like it's about to take its daily rest. If the word ‘peace’ has an image, I bet it would look just like this.

“You've been out here for hours. You need to get up there and eat with us, we already ordered in the resto.” Thea who sat beside me.

I turned to her and smiled. “Okay.”

One greatest thing in life is having that someone who understands us, who doesn't say anything but listens to our silence. And I'm beyond happy to have that someone through Thea. I'm sure she already has an idea of what's going on with me, that I'm having a predicament within myself.

But she never once did push me on saying anything about it. Even Ivy was silent about it. She didn't bombard me with questions when we came to the restaurant. All she talked about was their ride. I'm pretty sure Thea talked with her. And again, I thank her for that.

We went to our room when it was around 9 pm. They both were so tired, that's why they slept so instantly. I first made sure they don't wake up before I sneaked out. I couldn't sleep even with all the good ventilation. Maybe I just need to unwind and, at least, take a break from these rocky thoughts. To be in this beach resort right now is just really a great thing.

I sat again at the same spot and embraced the colder wind. There weren't many stars, some clouds were blocking them and the moon. But still, the night sky looked fantastical.

“You should be sleeping.”

I was startled and almost jumped in my comfortable seat when I heard someone speak behind me. It always feels like I've been caught and that's so literal.

My eyes widened a bit when I saw who it was.

“I-Ivy?” I said as she sat beside me in her yellow floral dress she was wearing at our dinner.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, looking at her suspiciously.

She let out a sigh before speaking. “I woke up without you in bed, of course, I wondered. I... I panicked a bit. I thought—”

“I'm not going to do that! My god!” I rolled my eyes, turning my eyes back to the sea.

“Okay, I know! But I'm still worried, Augustine! You've been so silent and it's bothering me every day! I really want to know why you are being like this but...” She sighed again, I looked back at her.

“Thea told me to give you space. Alright, alright. I'll give you the space, even the universe! But just know that I'm here, we're here, okay? I can sit with you here even without the talk! Just, you know, looking at that creepy sea.” She pointed at the dark sea.

I smiled and did not speak.

We stayed there silently until I saw her sleeping in her seat. Her head was already leaning on her bent knees, eyes closed. I still wanna stay there but I also don't want Ivy to sleep outside.

“Ivy.” I shook her. “Let's go back inside.”

She woke up and nodded. I had to guide her because her walk was unsteady, it was like she's drunk. Maybe that's how tired she was.

In the middle of the walking, we stopped because Ivy got tripped. I looked around to see if someone saw us. The night was already very deep but the light was still everywhere. There were even parties at some distances but the nearest one got me stuck in place.

Their party was not as big as the others from afar. It looked solemn and more exclusive. I could only see a few people but the one standing tall had my eyes widened. He looked so much like my saviour! But they were too dim to confirm it! And he's with a girl. With a girl?

I swallowed. I suddenly want to go there to confirm if it myself. But before I could even decide, Thea startled me with her call.