Chapter Four

“Your little family could be reunited, Naz. I will release Rafi. You can remarry. And the children will not lose their father and mother," said Renata trying to convince.

Nazwa was silent for a moment. Then asked, "Ta, Rafi was the one who told me about my wedding plans?"

Renata just looked at Nazwa deeply.

“Please, be honest with me, Ta!” Nazwa said again because Renata didn't answer.

Renata exhaled before speaking. "Yes. Rafi told me. And he also said that he never really wanted to let you go. If there's anything he can do to get you back, he'll do anything, even if it's risking his life. As long as you can unite again," Renata answered in the end.

"I was suspicious. Because when he found out about this plan, he expressed his objections. But yes, the reason is children,” complained Nazwa lamented.

"Shame Rafi, Naz. That's why he's not honest with his feelings for you," explained Renata.

"Renata, I'm sorry. Please tell Rafi. My decision is unanimous. Kafka, the man who wants to marry me, has managed to heal the wounds caused by his divorce from Rafi. Honestly, Ta. At first I was disappointed and hated men. But, Kafka, managed to convince me that life doesn't always go smoothly. He is able to make my mind feel calm, comfortable and peaceful. Feelings like that had been snatched from my heart and life. But Kafka managed to bring him back.” Nazwa smiled. Remembering a Kafka, always makes him feel peace and serenity.

“Nazwa, please, can you reconsider?” Renata asked.

“Ta, I was surprised. Why are you and Rafi so eager to cancel my wedding plans? Don't you understand that this is my life?! Indeed, I should not be selfish because of the children. But, to be honest, for their sake, I want to get married again," said Nazwa.

"Naz..." Renata interrupted.

"And again, I've never interfered with your life right? I wasn't even asked for opinions when Rafi wanted to marry you. Though, I have the right to it! Because I will leave the children to someone else. And you didn't do it, did you? Why, because afraid if I'm angry? Or you and Rafi think that I will no longer get a man to marry me, right?!” sarcasm Nazwa.

"Not Naz. It is not like that. Don't be angry. We mean it's not like that. Really, Naz. Not that. I just want Rafi to be happy again." Renata tried to explain.

“Rafi, Rafi and Rafi! Why are you only considering Rafi, Renata?! What about me? You already know how painful it is to be disappointed when left. Do you think, my heart is made of steel, so I don't feel pain, when Rafi divorced me without telling me what I did wrong? Not for a second did he give me an explanation and an opportunity to defend myself. He even closed the communication between us. Children always ask, “Why did Mom and Dad have to separate? Don't you love us?" Nazwa took a deep breath.

Renata just stared at Nazwa's words.

“Please, now you are the one trying to position yourself in my place. How devastated I was at that time. On the one hand, I am facing an unreasonable divorce suit from Rafi, while on the other hand, I have to give my two children an understanding that this is the best way for all of us. They never understand, Renata. Because they also know that I also don't understand why the divorce had to happen!” said Nazwa full of emotion.

Renata could no longer speak. Nazwa is right, this action is very selfish. He really didn't imagine getting there. All she had in her head was her guilt and the happiness of the man she loved. He didn't even think about how Nazwa's heart was broken. Suddenly she became nervous and restless.

Nazwa closed his eyes. Trying to get rid of the emotions that overwhelm her right now. After she felt her heart calmed down, then she opened her eyes again. She looked at Renata who was speechless. The beautiful woman in front of her played with the hem of her dress. Apparently, her words just now made Renata nervous like this.

"Ta, Renata," Nazwa called, awakening Renata.

"Uh huh?" Renata replied nervously.

"Sorry, if my words make you uncomfortable like this," Nazwa regretted. “But, I also want you to be able to understand how I feel about this divorce. I have struggled so much to be able to move on with my life after separating from Rafi. And I want you to appreciate my struggle,” said Nazwa.

“Naz, it's not you who should be apologizing. But it was me and Rafi. You're right, we haven't thought about how you feel. We are very selfish. Sorry, Naz," Renata pleaded earnestly.

Nazwa smiled. "Come on, Ta. We forget and forgive each other. Because all of that has passed. I don't want to go back to those sad times. I will only look to the future that I will knit with Kafka. And I want you and Rafi to do the same,” Nazwa hoped.

Renata smiled slightly hearing that. "Are you sure Rafi will be able to love me? You know who Rafi is, how does he act to fight for his wishes?” Renata said sounding skeptical.

"It's your job to make Rafi fall in love with you," Nazwa said.

"What do you think I've been up to these twenty-three years, huh?" Renata tried to look annoyed.

"What is it?" asked Nazwa.

“Trying to make your ex-husband fall in love! Which unfortunately didn't work!” Renata murmured. “My time, energy, and youth are running out!” Renata complained again.

"Want me to tell you the secret?" Nazwa fishing rod.

"Mmm. . . May also. What's the secret?" Renata links.

"Secret. . .,"

"Wait . . . wait!" Renata stopped Nazwa's words. "We're weird, aren't we," She joked.

"Weird? Why?" asked Nazwa not understanding.

“Our status is both ex-wife and wife of a man. Usually, there will be mutual ridicule, but instead, we want to share secrets, how to win the man's heart. Weird right?" Renata chuckled.

Nazwa was stunned to hear Renata's words before finally laughing too. "Ha ha ha . . . Yes. You're right, we're both weird girls!” Nazwa agreed with Renata's thoughts.

“Nice talking to you, Naz,” Renata said after laughing tiredly.

"Nice to talk to you too, Renata," replied Nazwa.

"I understand now, what makes Rafi, Kafka maybe other men crazy about you," said Renata.

"Hmm. . . What?" asked Nazwa.

"Your sincerity," Renata said with a smile.

Nazwa's eyebrows rose as a sign of not understanding.

“Your heart is too sincere, Naz. So that whatever hurts your heart, makes you angry and disappointed, but you will still be able to forgive. But what you see in someone you see is the action, not the person. And not everyone has that, Naz,” said Renata.

"Mmh," Nazwa smiled at Renata's words. “I'm just a person who doesn't want to hold grudges, Renata. It's too exhausting to keep anger in the chest." Nazwa expressed her opinion.

“I want the best for you and Rafi, Naz.” Renata looked at Nazwa expectantly.

Nazwa took Renata's hand and held it. "Me too, Ta. I want the best for both of you.” Nazwa smiled reassuringly.

********

Continued