Something Is Really Going to Happen to Me

Back in Jakarta, Eriwan had got worried a lot. Not once had he got any phone call from his younger brother. Day had passed by and here came the night. Eriwan went back to his mansion and quickly got into his bedroom. He tried to call his brother's cellphone again. The cellphone was merely ringing without anyone answering it.

He has promised to call me as soon as he arrives. Now the day has even passed by. He should have arrived there for quite a couple of hours. Why doesn't he call me? Is anything bad occurring to him there? Eriwan began to shout worriedly inside his mind and heart.

Walking here and there inside his bedroom in his big mansion, Eriwan kept trying and trying to call his younger brother again. Yet, his younger brother's cellphone was only ringing without anyone answering it.

Eriwan began to be impatient. He threw his cellphone slightly harshly to his desk. Now, he tried to activate his telepathy.

Erito… Erito… Do you hear me? Do you hear me? Where are you, Erito? Erito… Do you hear me? Are you okay, Erito?

Yet, there was no answer. Erito didn't give him any reply.

What has actually happened? It's unusual Erito doesn't reply to my telepathy like this. If he's okay, no matter how busy he is, he'll still answer my telepathic call. But now, he keeps silent without answering my telepathic call. Something bad must have happened to him. What should I do now? Should I fly to Singapore to see him as well? Yeah… Yeah… Yeah… I think that's the only thing I can do to make sure he's okay right now.

Eriwan took his cellphone again. He would purchase an online flight ticket to Singapore immediately that night. Therefore, he needed his passport. He opened one of the drawers inside his wardrobe to find his passport. He felt so strange and was full of question-marks inasmuch as he couldn't find his passport. He remembered keeping his passport in that drawer, but once he opened it at this moment, his passport was nowhere to be found. Where had it vanished?

Mrs. Columba opened her elder son's bedroom door. Mrs. Columba got into her son's bedroom and then stood still behind her son who was busily searching for his passport in his drawer.

"Are you looking for this one, Eriwan?" asked Mrs. Columba showing her son his passport. Mrs. Columba was holding her son's passport in her hand.

"Mom… I need that passport right now. I must go to Singapore tonight," said Eriwan feeling relieved and smiling faintly at the same time. He went to his mom to take his passport from his mom's hands.

"For what?" asked Mrs. Columba again getting the passport further away from her son's hand.

"Mom… You must be kidding me. I need that passport. I want to go to Singapore tonight. I want to see Erito right now. Something bad must be happening to him at the moment," said Eriwan again. His smile disappeared as he felt that his mom didn't want to give him his passport.

"Erito is okay. He's in Singapore right now. He must be resting at this moment. Why do you want to go to Singapore to see him so hurriedly?"

"He's my brother, Mom. He's my younger brother, Mom. I'm anxious about him. He doesn't answer my phone although I've been trying to call many and many times." Eriwan was more worried. He began to realize that his mom might have known everything about the love affair between him and his younger brother.

"Your anxiety doesn't make sense at all, Eriwan. Dad is following Erito to Singapore. Right now, Erito is staying at one of our mansions in Singapore. Just like here, there will be so many Dad's bodyguards who will be on alert over there for 24 hours. So, what are you afraid of?"

Eriwan ran out of words this time. He stood still on his spot and had got nothing to say.

"Answer my question, Eriwan… Why are you such in a hurry to go to Singapore to see Erito tonight? Do you miss him that much even though both of you have just been separated not more than one day?" Mrs. Columba stared sharply and deeply at her elder son's eyes.

"Of course I do miss him, Mom… It's unusual for him not to answer my phone like this. I've tried to call Dad, but Dad doesn't answer my phone either. My gut tells me something bad must be occurring to Erito at this moment. I want to go to Singapore right now, Mom. Return my passport please," said Eriwan sticking out his hand in front of his mom.

Yet, Mrs. Columba still didn't want to give the passport to her son. She kept the passport further and further from Eriwan's hand. Eriwan frowned his forehead deeply seeing what kind of behavior his mom was showing him.

"You'd better stay here. Erito is alright. He must be resting. If he's woken up, he will automatically call you back."

"Mom… Can you just listen to me this time?" protested Eriwan with the higher note coming out from his voice.

"It's you who have to listen to me this time, Eriwan. Erito is your younger brother, not more than that. Both of you have also got married and had your kids. Although you've also got divorced right now, those cute kids have become your responsibilities. So, I think it's wiser for both of you to start taking care of your kids rather than anything else. You get what I mean, don't you?"

"We always take care of our children, Mom… We never let them lack of food, or drink, or anything else. It's just Erito and I have been too busy so we often leave the kids together with their sitters. But once we've got our leisure time during the weekends or holidays, we always set our time to accompany our kids. So, Mom… That doesn't become your reason not to let me go to Singapore to see what actually has happened to Erito."

"He's your younger brother, Eriwan… Do you love him so much that you're such in a hurry like this to see him right now whereas he doesn't only answer your phone call for a couple of hours?"

Mrs. Columba was at the edge of her patience. She didn't think she could hold the situation any longer.

"Remember this, Eriwan… Erito is your biological brother. You may only love him as an elder brother who loves his younger brother. You may not treat him with your deeper feeling than that. Do you understand?"

Eriwan stepped back once. He had been suspecting what his mom actually meant since his mom stepped into his bedroom a couple of minutes ago. Now it turned out that his suspicion was true.

"Mom… I… I…" Eriwan really didn't know how to continue his statement. He knew he should admit the whole complete story right here, right now to his mother, but he'd really got no idea where to begin, where to start.

"We've heard from Delwyn Anderson about both of you." A bit of tears was hanging at the brim of Mrs. Columba's eyes.

"I love Erito, Mom… I love him a lot. I love him deeply. I don't know how to survive if he isn't by my side, Mom. Sorry for disappointing you and Dad…" Eriwan slightly bowed his head. Now, he didn't have any courage to stare at his mom's glassy eyes.

"Enough, Eriwan! Be quiet! I don't want to hear any more lines about your feelings. I just want both of you to realize those feelings are sinful. Those feelings are wrong. They are irrational. They don't make any sense. It's impossible for you to love your biological brother and then you have a sex with him, is it?"

"But we've done it, Mom… We've slept together for a couple of times. We love each other. We match each other. There's nothing wrong with that."

"Stop it! Stop it please!" screamed Mrs. Columba Rajadi pointing her finger to her son. Of course, she was different with her husband who would raise up his hand to beat their sons or give them any kinds of corporal punishment.

"Mom… I do love him, as an elder brother who loves his younger brother, and also as a man who loves his lover… I love him very and very deeply, Mom… I don't think I can survive alone in this world without him by my side," Eriwan's tears began to rise up and in the next seconds, they began to roll down on his cheeks.

"You've already been fathers, but both of you are still being crazy and stupid like this. What do you expect your kids will study from you in the future? Do you want them to become gays and lesbians?" screamed Mrs. Columba at the top of her emotion. Her tears began to fall down from her eyes. However, she kept looking at her son with her sharp and deep stare.

"Sorry for disappointing you and Dad, Mom… Erito and I also don't expect to disappoint both of you like this. We ourselves didn't even think to fall in love to each other like this. But, feeling is something that we can't control, Mom. I can't control this feeling. I've fallen for him since the first day we met when we were five years old. I didn't realize it at that time. Yet, by the time which flows away, I've been pulling him nearer and nearer to me with the love I grow inside my heart and mind for him. Now, we've reached deeper and deeper stages, Mom. We've actually been inseparable. Please let me go to Singapore to meet him."

Eriwan said out all his confession with his tears kept rolling down from his eyes like a little stream in the rainy season. Mrs. Columba also broke down in tears. She sobbed very badly. She got drowned into the sea of sadness and disappointment which was full of question-marks why her two sons could have homosexual and incest love affair like this. Mrs. Columba felt as if all her bones had been broken harshly into bits and pieces. She lost all her strength to stand up. She squatted down in front of her son and continued her sobbing there.

"Mom… Please… Let me go to Singapore tonight to meet Erito. I want to make sure by my own eyes he is alright. After that, if you want me to come back, I'll fly back here as soon as possible. I promise you, Mom…" Eriwan put his last effort persuading his mother to let him fly to Singapore to meet his beloved younger brother.

"You'd better stay here, Eriwan. I won't let you fly to Singapore tonight, tomorrow, or even the days after that. Your daddy and I have decided. Erito and you must be separated for a while until you've got your own opportunity to neutralize the wrong, the incorrect, and the irrational feelings of yours."

Mrs. Columba would go out from his son's bedroom. Eriwan kept trying and trying again to make his mom change her mind.

"Mom… Please just listen to me this time…"

"Think about your mistakes from growing those irrational and illogical feelings, Eriwan. Try to convince yourself, you brothers must merely love each other as siblings – not more, not deeper than that. Try to convince yourself that kind of feeling will be unacceptable, will be opposed by the society. Before everything turns to be too late, please neutralize them and throw them away from your heart and mind forever. That's the only way for you to be able to meet Erito again," said Mrs. Columba and quickly stepped out her feet from her son's bedroom.

Mrs. Columba got into her own room again. Tears kept rolling down from her eyes. It turned out to be true that both of her sons had been involved in their homosexual and incest love relationship. What should she do now? What should she do in order for her two sons to go back to the normal previous state?

A lot of question-marks were still running here and there in Mrs. Columba's quay of mind.

Two hours passed by. Eriwan took his cellphone and his wallet with him. He went out of his bedroom and walked downstairs immediately. But, when he was about to reach the front door of his big mansion, suddenly three bodyguards appeared in front of his eyes and hindered his way.

"Sorry, Mr. Eriwan… Mr. Apollo has told us you mustn't go out from this mansion until his next order. Your daily needs will be supplied by your mother who will be staying here together with you for a moment," said one of the bodyguards.

"I can't even walk out of my own mansion, can I? That doesn't make sense!" Eriwan rose up his tone of voice.

"Please understand our position. We only obey what Mr. Apollo has told us, Mr. Eriwan…" said another bodyguard.

"Please let me out right now… I've got something important to do. I promise to come back here again before dawn," said Eriwan with his persuasive tone.

"We're really sorry, Mr. Eriwan… Mr. Apollo does say to us you may not walk out of this mansion until his next order. Please go back to your room, Mr. Eriwan. We'll be punished by Mr. Apollo if something bad happens to you. Please understand our position, Mr. Eriwan." The situation turned upside down when the bodyguards begged Eriwan not to walk out of the mansion.

Eriwan was very stressful. He knew he couldn't get out of the mansion from the front door. Yet, he would try another way to get out. He had to meet one of his friends who was able to attain a new passport for him. With that new passport, he could fly to Singapore immediately to see and make sure Erito was alright.

Eriwan went back to his bedroom. His mind was turning round and round. He was thinking very hard. If I can't go out from the front door, I think I can get out from the window of this bedroom, can't I? Saying the idea to himself, Eriwan opened the window and looked downwards.

Okay… I think it isn't too high. This is only the second floor.

Thinking like that, Eriwan clutched the window pane carefully and began to step out of the window. Carefully and cautiously, he stepped on the walls outer part of his mansion building and jumped downwards. He landed safely on the garden at the right side of his mansion building.

Unfortunately, when he was about to jump over the high walls circling around his mansion building, several bodyguards had been running towards him and then pulled him downwards again.

"Let me go! Let me out of here!" screamed Eriwan at the top of his voice.

"Please understand us, Mr. Eriwan. We'll be punished very severely by Mr. Apollo if you get out of this mansion," said one of the bodyguards while all of them were trying to calm Eriwan down.

"I want to meet my younger brother, Buddy. Please let me go for a while. I'll be back before dawn. Please let me go…" shouted Eriwan thrashing himself when he was clutched by several bodyguards and was taken back into his mansion building.

Mrs. Columba got shocked finding out her son jump out of the window of his bedroom from the second floor. She approached her son immediately.

"Why are you so reckless having jumped out of the second floor window, Eriwan? How about if something terrible happens to you? Why are you being so stubborn, Eriwan?"

"Something bad has really happened to me right now, Mom. Without seeing Erito to make sure he's alright, something bad is really going to happen to me, Mom. Please let me out, Mom… Please let me go to Singapore to meet Eriwan, Mom…" Eriwan cried bitterly. His tears seemed to be rolling down again and again.

Mrs. Columba kept shaking her head. She might not let Eriwan meet Erito first. Both of them had to be separated first for a while to make sure both of them had neutralized the irrational feelings inside their minds and hearts. Hopefully, by not seeing each other for a couple of days, both of them could begin to understand that their feelings were not right.

"No, you have to stay here first, Eriwan… Listen to me, Eriwan… You have to stay here first. Tomorrow morning I'll take you to a quite famous psychiatrist whom I've known for a couple of years. He can help you deal with your incorrect and illogical feelings, Eriwan. Okay…? You are an obedient child, Eriwan. Since you were a kid until now, you always listen to what I've been telling you. Aren't you?"

Eriwan kept crying and sobbing bitterly. He gave up at the moment. He was taken back to his bedroom without any rebellion anymore. He didn't know what to do in order to go out from this mansion to meet his younger brother. He was dumped to the bottom of hell of his own sadness and grief because of not being able to meet his younger brother.

Eriwan activated his telepathic world again. Erito… Erito… Do you hear me? Answer me please… I worry about you so much that I nearly die because of this suffering. I can't nearly endure this suffering again because of not being able to be by your side. I can hardly stand this misery knowing that both of us will perhaps be separated forever and both of us perhaps won't be able to see each other again.

Eriwan slept on the floor of his bedroom. He circled round his body, embraced his two feet, and continued his sobbing over there.

I miss you, Erito… Where are you? Are you okay? What are you doing at the moment?